Thursday, December 20, 2012

Cartoon - Artificial

I saw someone doing this. They were going to pile the presents on the bottom half, and make some kind of lamp with the top half. They couldn't figure out why their kids started crying. Then, finally, they swore and said,  "...if people wanted to have one complete Christmas Tree in one room, like everybody else does, and never try to do things differently, then fine." Ho ho ho ho! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Catch Me a Santa

We got a few more days to go before Christmas, if the world does not end tomorrow. Being that I counted on things to keep going, tomorrow should be a big shopping day for me, to see if I can get any "END OF THE WORLD" discounts. Here's a cartoon I drew back in the day, we had a cat that got her tail stuck on a flytrap on Christmas Eve at about 2 O'clock in the morning, and that is where I go this idea from. CM Evans Cartoons

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Cartoon - Way Bigger

Indeed, they do turn out that way, often. Who ever bought a Christmas Tree, and it turned out to be TOO SMALL? CM Evans Cartoons

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Cartoon - Twinkle Monkey

I've been getting many gag ideas from reading news headlines. I was trying to get hilarious ideas from reading the Roman historian Livy, but he wasn't funny enough, unless you're keen on jokes about his outward seeming opposition of any sort of sedation to restore Rome to a Republic, Livy's supernatural expressions of historical events, or his relevant advocacy of ancient morality. LOL! CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, December 06, 2012


Hey I wanted to submit some more magic cartoons to the UK publication that will be coming out with a 'magic' theme edition, but the deadline is closed. So here is one more drawing* that crossed my brain**. YOU CAN DO MAGIC TOO!^ CM Evans Cartoons

* Ningún animal fue dañado en la construcción de este dibujo animado

** Mein Geist ist voller zerbrochener Teetassen und alter Käse 

 ^ Gamle psykiatere er ikke så aktiv som gamle bygningsarbejdere

Cartoon - Lookin' Fer More

I first drew this cartoon with the fella holding the two pieces of paper over his head. But I've been drawing a lot of cartoons with 'arms up in the air', so now he's dragging the paper. Two years ago I repetitively drew cartoons of cars going off cliffs. What I really would like, is to work in more bowling balls, squirrels, fire, and taffy into my humor. Wait, nix the bowling balls. Possibly this is a New Years Resolution.

 La primera vez que hizo este dibujo animado con el chico sosteniendo las dos hojas de papel sobre su cabeza. Pero he estado dibujando un montón de dibujos animados con "brazos en el aire", por lo que ahora se está arrastrando el papel. Hace dos años me repetitiva dibujó caricaturas de los coches pasando por los acantilados. Lo que realmente me gusta, es trabajar en las bolas de bowling más, ardillas, fuego y chicloso en mi humor. Espera, nix las bolas de bowling. Posiblemente se trata de una Resolución de Año Nuevo

 CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Cartoon - THE NEW TRIO

I'm a 'natural', and I'm FULL of brilliant ideas on justabout anything. If you need inspiration, or things to think about, just drop me a line or give me a call and I guarantee I'll overwhelm you with an epic tide of stimuli. Back a bit, DC Comics was looking for new 'superhero' concepts and immediately submitted this. It was no trouble, no trouble at all -- I could do superhero concept creation all day 24/7. I have not heard back from DC and I expected they would be ready to get going -- so to nudge them in the right direction -- here is my latest 'crime busting trio' because I wanted it to be a duo, but then 'Joe Horizontal' showed up with his poetry and had to be included. Enjoy! CM Evans Cartoons

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Cartoon - Rabbit Trick

Hey, I'm feeling good today and I've been drawing a lot of new cartoons. There's a UK publication that wants magic cartoons, and here is one that I pulled together today. I don't work with color all the time, my cartoon figure is hard to color -- I can't figure out the tone of his skin. I like his turtleneck and green pants. Who is that guy, anyways? His name is "Hup". Hup and I have been pals for about 25 years. I started drawing him when I was procrastinating in my geometry class, in high-school. Santa Rosa Senior High. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - New Laptop

I guess this is gonna happen next, sooner or later, so I might as well get used to the idea. Plus, the laptop will be easier to keep clean, right? No slots, input ports, or do-dads to trap dust or crap, or add ons, or unapproved software someone would want, that used to ruin your computing experience. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Hardware Store

I did know that fleas cannot drown. I found out yesterday that the head louse can hold its breath underwater. Don't ask me how I found out. One method of getting rid of a lice infestation, is to seal things that cannot be washed in a plastic bag for 4 months. I hear also that olive oil, tea tree oil, and napalm get rid of lice. Lice also don't like living on Mars, asteroids,or the moons of Jupiter.  CM Evans Cartoons

Monday, November 26, 2012

Cartoon - Nina Pinta Hagia Sophia

Let me here update history. I was going to do some kind of cartoon about Columbus and Christmas, but them's the breaks. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Oh Tannenbaum

Ya know, we really have not gotten started with the Holidays here, and a bunch of weird stuff has already gone down. I know it is going to be a strange Holiday Season. I mean, I give up trying to make it normal, it apparently isn't physically possible. When I told a pal about this, he said, "Yeah man! That is a great idea! Why can't Christmas trees be more like that! Then Christmas would rock!"

All said an done, I'm going to give food away as gifts this year. I'm tired of trying to find the perfect gift for each person, unless they want a Christmas Tree. CM Evans Cartoons

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Cartoon - And Before Spears...

I'm watching a show about warfare in ancient Egypt. Poop has always been one of the ultimate weapons. The show hasn't talked about poop yet. CM Evans Cartoons

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Have a Happy Thanksgiving

I wish all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, that you have a happy one. If you can celebrate, you should. I am going up to Napa, in Northern California, to see my family. We'll have a good time. For the rest of the world who does not know about the American custom of Thanksgiving, this is when we celebrate our National Victory over the Martian Expeditionary Force, at the Battle of Crispy Hump -- where the Federal Army ended the Mars invasion of the mid 1880s, right after the conclusion of the American Civil War. CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Cartoon - Blog Popular

I think this famous quote sums it up:

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

                                                      --- Anonymous

CM Evans Cartoons


Do me a favor: If you have any buddies in Africa, tell them about me and my cartoon blog. The whole of Africa is ignoring me. 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Cartoon - Cloud Erase

Hello there. I have a huge server farm that I outsourced to Romania, or China. I really don't know where it is, and I want you to upload all your information -- financial and personal, to my Cloud service.

You'll sign a NDA that allows me unfettered access to all of your life revealed in that data, to use any information about you to sell you things, and report you to law enforcement when I scrub your data with elegant algorithms, to see what you might purchase, and what bad things you might be inclined to do.

My service is special that way -- not only do I identify you to advertisers, I also anticipate if you will do criminal things in the future based off your patterns in the data. It is free until you need your information back, or you realize your privacy had been hopelessly computerized into a digital guinea pig I can do experiments on. CM Evans Cartoons

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Cartoon - 35000 Toothbrush

This is a first for all of us -- I don't think I've ever cartooned about a toothbrush. I was watching a documentary last night about a cave in France that has drawings in it that are over 35,000 years old. I made it about half way through the film, because there were way too many scenes of scientists quivering with joy as they walked on metal platforms in the dark, backlit by electric headlamps. They found calcite covered skulls, bones, heaps of ancient trash, and I am sure the bark sports-page will also turn up. Bark lasts a long time, if you seal it in a cave.  CM Evans Cartoons

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Cartoon - Evil Leader Hut

Gosh, quite a sale here, can you believe it? They hardly EVER have a 50% sale at ELH. I picked up a pair of chrome skull cufflinks that fire poison darts, a hydra shaped tie-pin with ruby eyes, and the ever popular Jugular Slicing Expando Pants, in buff and charcoal grey. I was holding out for the 'bullet returning' navy blue blazer, but they only had it in XXL and XXXL. Oh well, they'll always be a place I want to shop for those hard to satisfy giftees. CM Evans Cartoons

Friday, November 09, 2012

Cartoon - Contortional Alphabet

Thing I like about this cartoon -- the background reminds me of a gym or a 'recreational center'. I wasn't thinking of a scene set in a gym or recreational center -- but after I drew the unfortunate contorter, I drew in a few extra cartoon people in the air over my signature. I was going to do some cutting and pasting to move things around, but I liked the feeling of space & observers, so I added another cartoon person on the left and then a wall up there with a door, far away.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - New Artisanal Mayonnaise

I wanna write something about this cartoon and my new artisanal mayonnaise, but it didn't work out so good, so I'm crying uncontrollably. Back to making my own custom iron-oxide inks and ginger-beers. CM Evans Cartoons

Monday, November 05, 2012

Cartoon - Thrust Lumber

I'm happy we're one day away from the end of the election cycle, determining who will be the President of the United States of America, or the Honorable New American Sisyphus. Then I can get serious and stop making Yoga cartoons.

I was hoping that other candidates would be on the ballot. My ideal ticket would be Tony Bennett as Executive-in-Chief, with Susan Sarandon as vice-President for the PACC party. That is the Peaches And Cream Coalition, an entirely fictitious political organization of my own fertile imagination. They would obviously be 'pro' fruit and dairy products.

If Tony or Susan wouldn't run, I'd settle for a Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons ticket -- please, we need to think of solutions that would do much good for the country. Other than that, I have no ideas. CM Evans Cartoons

Friday, November 02, 2012

Cartoons - Happy and Sushi

Did you all survive Trick-or-Treating? My apologies to our international visitors, I realize that most of the world does not hold to Halloween.

I had no costume when I took the kids out to Laguna Beach for the festivities on Oak Street -- the residents there shut several blocks down, and they decorate their houses into Halloween extravaganzas. My children SAID I was supposed to create for my left hand a 'Claw-Like Appendage, Dripping in Blood' -- they said it did not have to be made of metal --  I could make it out of cardboard if I wanted to. Unfortunately, I was busy with work, so I did not show up with a claw, and I caught hell for it. Luckily, there was a spare wicker basket and a extra coat, so I quickly transformed into 'Basket-Head Coat-Hair' and this passed as an alternate disguise, due to the sheer insanity of it.

In fact, some drunk people who saw me as 'Basket-Head Coat-Hair' wished they had decided to be something along these lines. CM Evans Cartoons

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Cartoon - Happy Halloween

Wishing all you Ghouls, Mummies, Vampires and Witches a Happy Halloween! I'm dressed up as an Early Fall Southern Californian Cartoonist this day. A very good costume, I must say. Not exactly terrifying, but I can get a skull mask or pumpkin head for later, to enhance the costume. CM Evans Cartoons

Monday, October 29, 2012

Cartoon - American Cultural Yoga

This is what I thought I was doing in "Hot Yoga", but they told me it was absolutely untrue. Curse you, Groupon! CM Evans Cartoons

PS. Someone called me and said "What is 'orang Juice'?" And I said "Sugar free orange Juice, why?"

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Cartoon - Hurled / aDOoDk RgSCceq

I go look at an old journal entry on my website, and this is what it says:

"qKcibaDOoDkRgSCceq qaDYovqmbo FkAnQBMXtXaZnWrpHm YMOvuEDXVVa DUwrMTJVuMQQKhdG."


"qKcib aDOoDk RgSCceq qaD Yovqmbo FkA nQB MXtXaZnWrpHm YMOv uEDXVVa DU wrMTJV."

Not to be confused with:

"qK cibaD Oo DkRg SCc eq qa DY ovqm bo FkAn QBM XtX aZnWrp Hm YMOv uED X VVa DUwr MTJV uMQ QKh dG."

See? No? Go read them each again.

I mean, when cibaD goes MXtXaZnWrpHm, you get QBM XtX no matter how many ovqm's or XtX's come along, right?


CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Cartoons -- High and Joan

I go to Detroit, put things on sticks, and I laugh. That's about it. The one on Joan of Arc is pretty damn funny, in my opinion. Some people like fishing. CM Evans Cartoons

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Cartoon - Only in LA

I'm going about my beautiful morning, a Fall Morning, and here we go. I already have my list of things to do. Not a bad list, all gonna happen, today, today, today. You know how it is. Top of the list is 'getting toilet paper'. Then 'laundry detergent'. You know, I'm looking at my list and I don't see 'do laundry'. I do see I have written 'tame wild horses', and 'become King of France'. Like I said, all gonna happen -- today. See you at the coronation, this evening, bring saddles. CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Cartoon - Epic

Oh yeah -- one more cartoon. I have a bunch of them all exploding out onto the paper right now. I can't stop. Wait -- I'll take a nap. An Epic nap. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - New Cartoons

With polls, elections, debates, and Google getting hijacked in Ireland, plus hearing about the whole WOW virtual world being slaughtered by a hacker, I don't know where I was or what I was doing, but I'm back. I think I was in Napa for a bit, for some reason. Try these three cartoons out. I realize that I've been obsessed with pinning objects to other objects with knives. I could talk to a therapist about that. But if I picked a Pirate Therapist, they'd say I was doing just fine. CM Evans Cartoons

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Cartoon Challenge - Most Geniussy

Here is a cartoon for my friend, and valiant student, 'Everything n Nothing At All', who, when I challenged her to give me a cartoon challenge, wrote: "Draw a really frustrated, almost broke college girl. Go ahead, immortalize me!!!"

I hope I hit the mark. I've been there too -- living in the Mission District in San Francisco, in at 10 x 10 room so small I had to turn the bed into a loft, going to SF State. I was always amused that full-time students are not eligible for food-stamps or assistance, because they are full-time students, and therefore classified as someone who is not worthy of being assisted. ; - )

Have a instructive weekend! 

CM Evans Cartoons

Friday, September 14, 2012

Cartoon - Hypno Dude

Let me give a shout out to people who have arrived from Mexico, Indonesia, and the Philippines! Please come back, all, more cartoons to follow.

I have decided to incorporate hypnotism into everything I do, from now on. Starting with my music. Then my everyday casual gestures. Then with the ladies -- whoot whoot whoot! CM Evans Cartoons

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Cartoon - Notes

Just the way I am, I can't help myself. If you have a note around, or a list, or a bill, and it has room, I will most likely cartoon on it. Makes for some interesting situations, like with official documents -- ones that go to court and a judge reviews. Well, anyways, what can I do? Why did you leave it around, that paper with some blank space on it, unsupervised? Today is the day for another cartoon. CM Evans Cartoons

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

Cartoon - Too Afraid

So here you are, you meet someone, who you can't make fun of their name. You can't, because just one of their ARMS is bigger than your whole BODY. And you probably get stuck sitting next to them in coach on a flight for 8 hours, and they try to be nice and not completely crush you by folding their arms across their chest. Then you feel extra bad, because you want to make fun of their name, but the person you feel like mocking obviously is trying very patently & graciously not to be a problem, and you are a resentful shrimp with bad manners. People like you go straight to Hell. They go to Hell and God cheers, and the Devil weeps. CM Evans Cartoons


Şalgam: Artıq gələn üçün təşəkkür edirik. Aşağı oturmaq edin.
Kök: Mən keçi nifrət!!
Şalgam: Biz burada heç bir keçi var. Biz ötən həftə onlara qanundankənar elan.
Kök: Siz problem pis, axmaq etdik! İndi yalnız Outlaws keçi var!
Çörək: O, Şalgam doğru deyil! O, doğru deyil!

Saturday, September 01, 2012

Cartoon - Ugg Boots

"All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds." -- Richard Brautigan

Today, I cannot help but watch and admire the fluffy clouds/ Richard Brautigans as they glide through the sky. I see one Richard Brautigan is clearly drunk, heading the wrong way, with its pants sagging and big hat askew, dreamily going against the procession. The other Richard Brautigans flow on, flow on. I imagine rain/ iDEATH will be falling later in the day, by 3 o'clock, most likely. CM Evans Cartoons


Friday, August 31, 2012

Cartoon - Out for a Walk

Happy Blue Moon Day! Before we know it, it will be September. Many valuable and fascinating scientific innovations and inventions were concocted in the month of September. Shoelaces, the zipper, the atomic bomb, toothpaste, gum, paper snowflakes, erasers, tin, the motorcycle, paperclips, and toilet paper were all invented during the 9th month of the year. Bet you didn't even know that. Well, now you do. CM Evans Cartoons

Честит Ден на Blue Moon! Преди да се усетим, той ще бъде септември. Много ценни и завладяващ научни иновации и изобретения са измислени в месец септември. Всички те бяха изобретени връзки за обувки, цип, атомната бомба, паста за зъби, дъвка, хартиени снежинки, изтривалка, калай, мотоциклет, кламери, и тоалетна хартия по време на 9-ия месец на годината. Обзалагам се, че дори не знаят, че. Е, сега го направите

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Cartoon - Drinking Note

A warm welcome to visitors from the lovey Cayman Islands, Latvia, and Pakistan. Tell 'em I all said 'Hello'. If you want a few cartoons, drop me a line.

Here is another handy thing you can use, I think it could be totally cross-cultural. I wanted to trademark, or copyright this, but I'm too busy right now figuring out how the South could have won the American Civil War. Be well! CM Evans Cartoons



Cartoon - Ant Ladder

I have ideas, and many of them are splendid ideas. One of the best ideas I ever had was not this particular idea, but if you don't think up some bad ones, how are you going to realize the good ones when they come along? So I tell myself in a slightly high cracked voice at 3 AM, carving violins out of toothpaste, building submarines out of tampons, and designing geodesic domes out of drinking birds. CM Evans Cartoons


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Cartoon - Keeping It Simple

If they say they don't love you anymore, it is a bad idea to follow them around, or send them pictures of you crying. This is also an excellent time to pick up a new time-consuming hobby. Digging tunnels though solid rock mountains, with a pin, is one good meditative exercise. You could, theoretically, go for a new world record. Cherish your freedom! Use your freedom from another to find another who will put you in the same situation you find yourself in now. No! Yes? No! Cherish your freedom! CM Evans Cartoons

Friday, August 17, 2012

Cartoon- Me and My Milk

Hey look, a second post for today. Weird. There's a glass of milk in one scene from 'No Country for Old Men' -- a film that I thought I could enjoy and finish watching, but I couldn't go through with it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Only the Lonely

He reads: Ya gotta act like a winner, if you want to be a winner! That is what this helpful book tells him. An damn it, he thinks, I am winner. Winner, I am! I'm cooler than sliced bread! Stronger than John Henry! Bigger than King Kong! Taller than the Eiffel Tower! Faster than greased lightening! Meaner than that kid who beat me up in Church! More inscrutable (and mysterious), than Winston Churchill! Grander than the Grand Canyon! More mousy than a mouse!! Mouse? More a dragon than a mouse! He drinks a big swig from the whiskey bottle. Shivers. Makes him strong as the awful whole shit goes down. CM Evans Cartoons

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Cartoon - Bake Bake

At 6.30 AM I had that damn song in my head, the cake song -- and I don't even know precisely how it is supposed to be sung -- and I also had Ray Charles, singing 'America the Beautiful', alternating with the first song. And then I had some Pink Floyd come on by, but I heard it adapted to a psychedelic pipe-organ w/ lots of reverb, followed by random classic rock from the 1980s, in staccato 2 second alternating bursts... I'm telling you -- I'm a damn conceptual design. Come on by, and I'll bake you a cake. CM Evans Cartoons

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Cartoon - Busy busy

Many of us would like to enjoy a fine night out on the town, make new friends, and influence people. But where to go? How to appear to be civilized? Should a handy prop be carried, for a good pickup line? I love your dress; Can you guess how many jellybeans I have in this jar? No? Yes? CM Evans Cartoons

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

Cartoon - One Arm Joe

I wish you all a happy Tuesday. I can also add this: I totally respect each and every one of you, as a person, and definitely not as a thing, or any kind of object. Let us celebrate with 'One Arm Joe'. CM Evans Cartoons

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Cartoon - Crack

What I don't show in this gag, 15 seconds later the crack I was standing on shot out scalding sheets of steam, and then opened up horizontally by about 500 yards either direction, dropping me into a pool of molten lava. CM Evans Cartoons

Monday, July 09, 2012

Cartoon - What is Behind the Dur? I mean, Door...

Hi, all you wonderful people! Thank you for dropping by to look at my work. I am happy to see some visitors from Egypt. I don't get a lot of traffic from Africa, and I've been pestering many countries in Africa, including Egypt, to come and visit my site here. Another appreciation to Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia, for the traffic. There are a number of cartoonists from Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia that I admire greatly. I hope you all have a wonderful week, more cartoons will be going up later. CM Evans Cartoons

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Cartoon - Cloud

I think some technological trends are awesome. Computers you can't fix. Why would you want to fix your computer? RAM you can't upgrade. Batteries you can't swap out. Why would you want to do this? Data you can store on the Cloud. That's gotta be the best thing of all. Where is the Cloud? Gee whiz -- it is everywhere! It is safe and secure and distributed over oodles of data centers all over the fricken place. The Cloud is so scattered -- to think you'll ever lose your data, man, you'd have to be crazy to think that. Why anyone would insist on having their own programs that can't be yanked at a keystroke, on their own repairable computer, with their own data concentrated on their own physical hard drive, under their lock and key -- man -- that is soooo PC antique computer vision. I mean, what could go wrong with the Cloud? Oh -- I see a big section of it did crash. Just the other day. No worries -- they got it working again. Yeah. CM Evans Cartoons