Cartoon Redux - Happy New Year

I have trouble with checks for the first few months of any New Year. Always signing last years date. This year certainly was one of the weirdest I've been through so far. Weird good, and weird bad, but mostly good. Got some cartooning and some writing done. Moved twice. Played with the kids and started hearing my boy use the word "No!" for all purposes. "You want some cereal?" "No!" (meaning "Heck yes I want cereal!). "You wanna take a bath?" "Nooooooooo!" (meaning, "Absolutely not, Dad.") I love 'em to death. And now I will clean the entire house. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Catch ME a Santa

Wishing all of you, and to all you love, a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Meet with family, bury the hatchet, forgo the settling of old scores, enjoy those around you while they are around you -- because some day you might find yourself alone, and these times happening right now, however trivial, will be one of those (forgive the cliche) "golden memories". Be foolishly loving, filled with laughter, giving with recklessness, and be utterly magnanimous, if only for one day of the year. Who knows, the loving and fun things you do today might spill into the rest of your life, and the lives around you. So be merry, rejoice, and look forward to the New Year! MERRY CHRISTMAS! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Xmas in My Coffee

Well, here's a nice Holiday cartoon, Xmas in My Coffee. I wonder what miniaturized Christmas Tree flavored coffee tastes like? A question for the ages, no doubt. I'm so happy to pose these kinds of questions. I still have a bit of Christmas shopping to do, and I've been a mostly good boy all year, so no coal this time around, I hope. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - A Long Story

When the Holiday Season rolls in, there are a few of my "traditional" holiday cheer cartoons that appear quite frequently in the top list of All Time Favorites. This one is popular too, but is not as cheerful. Though I imagine a majestic flying reindeer could be quite delicious. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Sushi Toss

This is a small cartoon, in the sketch phase, but I left it there, because I didn't want to tamper with it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing all, near and far a Happy Thanksgiving. Thaw the turkey before you try cooking it. If it isn't thawed by now, you'll be eating the turkey at about midnight. But don't give up! CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Art Hump

This was a recent addition to the website. And people liked it. Normal people, who I didn't think were sick in the head, like me. Is it the concept of acting out in a museum? Museums are so stodgy. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Spit Ball

Spit Ball, another one of the All Time Favorites. I drew the "spitball" first, but when I started drawing it, I had no idea what it was, even after I had finished it. Was it a big ball of lint? A snowball? Crumpled paper? A craggy extraterrestrial planet? A fuzzy star? I had no idea. In these cases, of not knowing, I take the sketch and I throw it in a file with dozens of other unnamed sketches. There it sits for a few days, weeks, months, or years -- occasionally I'll leaf through them, and I might suddenly get a line for any of these orphaned drawings. I don't know how long it was, until I looked at it again -- and saw a SPITBALL ABOUT TO HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Nude Sushi

Kicking off a few "All Time Favorites" cartoon postings here, because over the years there's been some extremely funny cartoons put up on CM Evans Cartoons (I've been told), and now with more than one thousand originals, work in the past can get lost. So I've been scrolling down the list, picking particular gags that rated at, or near, the top of the most visited images. Nude Sushi happens to be almost in the number one position, and it is also one of the oldest cartoons I have drawn.

Cartoon - Ski Club

Sorry about the recent tardiness of the posts here, and at my website. I've been horrendously busy finishing moving *again* to the new flat, and I'm finally coming down after the election cycle has concluded. Thank God it is over. Here's a joke from the past -- I was playing with the button and it popped up and I had a good laugh. I can definately see Yashar out doing this on the slopes. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Come On

I wanted to post this cartoon yesterday, but I had some bizarre (sp?) computer issues that took me hours to fix. And I'm not sure why what I ended up doing fixed my problems, but no virus(s), and now things seem to be normal. Now, regarding this cartoon, when I was uploading it, I realized that it isn't crystal clear which person is trying to figure out the "come on". The guy or the gal could be the furious figurer, or figuree. Do women work as hard as guys do, trying to figure out what to say? I was never too good at this, so I'd try just coming out and saying I liked them. And that didn't work so well, either. Best "come on" I ever saw was in NYC, with Todd Z, waiting for the train to Brooklyn. Todd can talk to total strangers in this freindly, disarming way -- I thought he knew the girl he was talking to, but then the train came and it wasn't hers and I never saw that beautiful girl again. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Upset

Hey, look at this, fall is here and winter is soon to be dropping in. What a lovely time of year, watching the leaves swirl down the streets in the crisp wind. I've been away for a few weeks. I had to move my office, and my home to a new flat, here in Oak Park, IL. Pardon the interruption. Are you upset? I'll make it up to you. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- S t o p

I keep drawing a car going off a cliff. But this time, I deleted the caption. And you know what, it is hilarious. Well, hilarious for me. Ha ha ha ha ha! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - George VP

When I was in elementary school, I was scared to death of Mr. Burt, the principal. In his office, he had this big paddle, like a cricket bat, but he never hit anybody with it, as far as I know. But you saw it, standing ready in the corner. He was kind to the kids, but also very severe. He told me something that stuck with me my whole life -- after I had pushed a kid and got into a fight, he said to us, "Two wrongs don't make a right!" And Mr. Burt, wherever you are now, you're right. But also, I realize by posting this satirical cartoon about vice principals, a few of them are going to come by the house now after school, and kick my ass. Plus, my mom was a vice principal. I'm in for a double whammy! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Rip Off

You know, some people require a lot of convincing, when it gets to convincing. Sometimes you have to go the distance with displays, physical ones -- like kicking, slapping, indian-burns, wedgies, melvins, sucker-punches, tripping, pushing, spitting, hollering, windmilling your arms in circles like a helicopter, throwing yourself down on the floor, gyrating your hips furiously, jamming a finger in an eye, tearing at your clothes like a maniac, or ripping off your own head. Now tell me you don't need any more convincing on this point. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Invented

Do you know how hard it is to get the Wood Fired Hat concept to work? I mean, a Gas Fired Hat has been done. Gas Fired Hats are practically for dummies. This Wood Fired Hat works with pellets, soft or hard woods, and has an automatic flue that regulates combustion. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Art Hump

I wanted to do this to a few paintings in the Louvre. But they wouldn't let me. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Justabout

Doing the Yoga. I done good at it, too. It is a pleasing and ancient artform, going back thousands of years. Sometimes I want to laugh, especially when we get into the "Yawning Moose" or "Piquanted Drunken Mouse" posture, but I try not to. One time, I almost ruptured my yoga mat. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrow

Hello there -- I posted this cartoon a day or so ago -- tail end of the summer has taken me away from time to time, but now we're getting back on track. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Shark Dentures

Sharks don't need dentures. They continuously regrow their teeth in rows that fold out over time and the old teeth fall out. Yheck! But what an amazing, deadly creature...old too. The earliest sharks showed up about 450 million years ago. And a shark was a "sea dog" until the 16th century. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Offend

Been away for a bit, hope I didn't offend anyone. Part of my trip was to Northern California, to the boonies. Phone wouldn't work, no internet, sometimes no electricity. Got way behind what was happening in the news, out of touch with family and freinds, hopelessly out of touch -- what a wonderful experience. But now I'm back and ready to start again. Hello. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Coleslaw

Isn't coleslaw and paper mâché interchangeable? I've done some discreet experimentations, and I find this is true. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bombe

I was digging around my files today, and I found a folder called USE THESE NOW. Not coincidentally, it was full of cartoons, all drawn in 1994. I have lots and lots and lots of recent cartoons, but Bombe strikes my fancy. Nowe ife Ie coulde onlye finde ae matche. CMe Evanse Cartoonse

Cartoon - BURRITO

When was the last time you had a BURRITO? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Peeking Stonehenge

"Stonehenge! Where a Man's a Man, and the children dance to the Pipes of PAN!!!"

Spinal Tap
1984

Ahhh. How I love Stonehenge. Even though I could have visited it, but spent time in Bath instead, and didn't actually see it. Stonehenge! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BILL ROBOTO

Isn't it interesting, whenever there's a story with a helpful robot as part of the cast of characters, the robot always ends up going completely wacko psycho, because of an error intentionally or unintentionally introduced into the robot's programming by the human beings? Was that a run-on sentence, or what? But do you see what I mean? I see this as a variation of the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Should we have more faith in our creations? Or should we have more faith in ourselves? Or, like in the fable, should we be cautious with advanced technology that we neither have the wisdom, nor the ethical clarity, to be using? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fries Out

Fries out. Missed the update on Thursday, I was having issues with this stupid HP "all in one" and getting it to be recognized by Photoshop Elements. Never had this issue before, and it is irritating to be having it now. I usually convert the work to B&W, but in actuality, I draw in a variety of colors, sometimes based on whatever pen is at hand. Today I did a whole series of cartoons with the steel pen and India Ink. I like India Ink because it doesn't fade at all, over time. I'll be posting some of those guys in the next coming days. Enjoy! CM Evans Cartoons

Link Added - Photoshop Disasters

I added a new link (via Look At This) to the Links section of CM Evans Cartoons -- Photoshop Disasters. Hilarious.

Cartoon - W H A M

WHAM!! I'm sure this is going to happen to me any day now. Even though I don't have three televisions. I don't even have one television, just a Mac laptop. CM Evans Cartoons

Comic News - Bella is Out of the Daily Grind Iron Man Challenge

I missed it, but I was sad to see Bella Whigimill of YOUNG ADVENTURE FRIENDS was eliminated from the Daily Grind Iron Man Challenge on May 15. I was seriously rooting for him to be the winner. He does some great, bizarre conceptual cartooning that I can't completely comprehend, yet I am compelled to keep reading. He has truly created an alternate universe. Bella continues to update his webcomic, though, which is a good thing. Joseph Bergin III of Say Uncle was knocked out on May 28th. Another steady, dedicated cartoonist, cranking away and doing creative work. 11 artists are left. Who will go next?

News - Naif al-Mutawa & the 99 New Superheros

I read an interesting article in the Washington Post online today, about a comic creator named Naif al-Mutawa who has gone to the Koran for inspiration for his series of comic books -- The 99.

From the Washington Post: "I wanted to create something that would be a classic, not another made-in-the-fifth-world product," said Mutawa, 37, who has four sons. "It was either going to be Spiderman or nothing."

With the recent controversies of Mohammad cartoons, it is interesting to see this project, and hear Mr. Mutawa talk about what his motivations are in doing this work.

Cartoon - Mr. Jackass

Meet Mr. Jackass. Now that it is warm and sunny, you'll be seeing lots of him around town. His tribe Jackass is a wide and deep group, spanning centuries and cultures. He is not really Homo Sapien, but rather, Homo Stupidous. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Killer Hand

THE HAND THAT KNOWS 1,000 WAYS TO KILL. YES -- THAT IS MY HAND. IT IS MY RIGHT HAND -- THE HAND OF FURY, THE HAND OF UNSWERVING JUSTICE. CM Evans Cartoons

News - McSweeney's Issue 27 is Now Released

I'm full of news nowadays. Amazing. McSweeney's Issue 27 is now out, you can order it from all kinds of places, including Amazon.com, City Lights Bookstore, or even directly from The McSweeney's Store. Included in this issue (which is broken into three separate books) is the cartoons I had in the apexart cartoon show, the work of the other artists in the show as well, plus a previously unpublished 72 page sketchbook by Art Spiegleman, and some new fiction by Stephen King.

Cartoon - Lima Bean

A falling lima bean. Hilarious! I just found the cartoon the other day. I also did some research and found out all kinds of lima bean facts that I never would have imagined. Lima bean cultivation goes back to about 6,000 B.C. in Peru, or possibly Guatemala. The bean naturally has cyanide compounds in it, and for this reason, only certain varieties are allowed to be grown in the US. More lima bean information can be found here, via Wikipedia. CM Evans Cartoons

News - Opium Magazine is on KQED Public Radio in SF

Opium Magazine, the online & offline literary magazine I edit cartoons for, is being featured on The Writers' Block, part of KQED Public Radio in San Francisco. They're running selections from Opium Magazine's 250-word Bookmark Contest. Hey -- and don't forget -- it isn't too late to submit entries for Opium Magazine's Shya Scanlon 7 Line Contest, the winner (and some runner-ups) being published in the next Opium Magazine .print edition, Opium7. If you win the contest, you get $1,000. Also, mentioning print...Opium6 just came off the presses -- Go Green! (But Save Me First). Here are some sneak peeks (via Opium's graphic designer, designer & overall Renaissance Man, Mr. David Barringer) at the contents of Opium6. Note who did a cartoon. I have a few in there, along with John Callahan. I can hardly wait to get my hands on a copy, it looks fun. Way to go Todd!

Cartoon - Divine

Ha ha ha. I did a whole series of these cartoons, with the King and his hapless portrait artist. What numerous wonderful one-sided exchanges are possible. It boggles my mind. In one of these gags, all the King says, is, "Don't go overboard." Do you think Goya or Krock had to soldier on stoically, that way? I bet they did. I'm surprised Goya got away with the eminently unflattering "The Family of Charles IV" -- the figures appearing, quite adequately described by Théophile Gautier, as "...the corner baker and his wife after winning the lottery." CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Smash Hit

Did I tell you that? My fingers were great! They did an adaptation of Gilbert & Sullivan's HMS Pinafore, with some disco dancing and electronic lighting. It was very well received, and now they may go and do a musical comedic version of Shakespeare's Henry IV, with fire dancing and clever stage magic. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arms

I think they will grow back. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Sid Dodge

Sid dodges the low flying UFO. Do we need to be warned against this kind of thing? YES!! But let us first have several beers, a few shots of gin, one or two shots of cheap vodka, a menthol cigarette, and pizza delivered in the nick of time. If you don't know what I mean, just re-read this and follow it like a recipe. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- TOO CLOSE

Stay away from my fricken' food, or this will happen to you, I swear. Go ahead, try -- just try to snag some of my grub. Go on! Get your own damn foodies. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Presidential

Hey, don't turn your back on a presidential candidate. How many unexplained disappearances can be blamed on that? And if they do become president, hopefully you don't know them at all. Or have to be around them. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Vegan Co Op

Happy May Day, at the Vegan Co Op. Some of my best friends are Vegans. :-) CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Paper

Hi -- been away for a few days, working on other projects, like making a 1:25 scale reproduction of Trajan's Column out of match sticks. Now, in this here cartoon "Paper", note I claim paper goes back to 4,000 B.C. (or B.C.E.). I was close -- but it looks like the manufacturing of paper like products goes back to Egypt, to around 3,000 B.C. But it ain't a big deal. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #1000 -- Assemblagist

Posting cartoon number 1000, with a blast from the past and a tip of the hat to Dave Eggers, who back in the day founded a publication called "Might Magazine" in 1994. My 12 panel cartoon "Assemblagist" (a format I had never worked with before, then) ran on the back inside page of the premiere issue -- I couldn't have been more psyched to be included, and have such a great location for my work. Sadly, "Might Magazine" is with us no more.

Looking forward to racking up another 1,000 posted for anyone to see, about humor, satire, and cartoons. Hopefully, also, my work appeals to people who hate cartoons. Then we get this sorta love-hate-thing going on & that can last a long time. Catch ya later & you won't be seeing me "...in the funny papers."

XXOOXXxx00XX//

CM EVANS

Cartoon #999 -- Smart Person Test

One away from 1,000 CM Evans Cartoons. Have a happy Monday. Smart Person Test -- which figure does not belong? Hint: It isn't the twirly-gig thingy.

Cartoon #998 -- Hanging Out

I done lots of this kind of hanging out, drawing on at least 5,000 cocktail napkins. My favorite cafes (and watering holes) are in North Beach. I'd spend hours at Cafe Puccini, The Steps of Rome, Grants, The Bohemian Cigar Store, and of course, Vesuvio. Aside from the Washoe House in Petaluma, I think Vesuvio is my all time favorite dive. If you go to Vesuvio, look for Hell Money hidden all over the place. If you get out to the Washoe House, order the buffalo steak, rare. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #997 -- Komphy Kouch

I spent several years watching Dallas reruns, living in Escondido, CA. Escondido is Spanish for "hidden". It was sunny there all the time. Most people there were retired, or dead. We were surrounded by golf courses. The Komphy Kouch is an exaggeration. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #996 -- TIME TO DRAW

Second cartoon update, in honor of Tax Day. 4 left for the 1,000 mark. You did do you taxes, right? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #995 -- Rude Box

Happy Tax Day, to all you Americans. Stay outta the Rude Box. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #994 -- Here There

Here vs there. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #993 -- Outer Space or Bust

I drew another 20 cartoons today. A heroic balloon cartoon! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #992 -- In the Future

I hope this doesn't come true soon -- but it probably will. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #991 -- Cartoon Cartoon

I so infrequently do cartoons that could be "framed" or classified as cartoon cartoons, that to do this one here, it is a rare pleasure, let me tell you. Of course, that statement could be a load of crap, and I am always doing cartoon cartoons and even cartoon cartoon cartoons. When I get to cartoon cartoon cartoon cartoons, then we have to stop and I'll have to lay down for a few hours to think. CM Evans Cartoons