Cartoon #995 -- Rude Box

Happy Tax Day, to all you Americans. Stay outta the Rude Box. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #994 -- Here There

Here vs there. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #993 -- Outer Space or Bust

I drew another 20 cartoons today. A heroic balloon cartoon! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #992 -- In the Future

I hope this doesn't come true soon -- but it probably will. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #991 -- Cartoon Cartoon

I so infrequently do cartoons that could be "framed" or classified as cartoon cartoons, that to do this one here, it is a rare pleasure, let me tell you. Of course, that statement could be a load of crap, and I am always doing cartoon cartoons and even cartoon cartoon cartoons. When I get to cartoon cartoon cartoon cartoons, then we have to stop and I'll have to lay down for a few hours to think. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #990 -- IS IT STILL RAINING

This afternoon I drew about 20 cartoons. So here is the 3rd update for today. Is this one really a cartoon? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #989 -- Gun Helmet

Two updates in one day, how cool is that? Here's another pen & ink syphilitic art style cartoon about the kind of helmet I'd wear if I could -- a gun one! Of course, I wouldn't get far in it. Especially if I was trying to go through airport security. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #988-- Axe Up close

Here is my "slightly palsied hand India Ink technique". Do you like it? I want it to look like a demented 80 year old drew this. It works for me. I hope it works for you. I assure you, all axes look exactly like this on the subatomic level. I discovered this in college, and I swore I'd never forget it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #987 -- His Next

Here you go. Do you like practical jokes? I like playing them, but I don't like getting them played on me. Human nature, right? CM Evans Cartoons

Link Added - Garfield Minus Garfield

A new link via The Daily Cartoonist, Dan Walsh's blog "Garfield Minus Garfield" is brilliant. He takes out the deeply narcissistic Garfield character from the Jim Davis strip, and lets the chips fall where they may. The result is hilarious and sad all at the same time. Mostly hilarious, for me, because I never liked Garfield the cat -- he's such a furry little bastard. And his owner Jon Arbuckle has always been such a helpless dweeb. I hear that Jim Davis is a fan of the site. Perfect. Links Section, CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #986 -- Haw Haw

Missed a day for updating -- sorry, I got distracted. Did ya notice? Haw haw. I like how I'm writing this to a person, or persons completely unknown, like I know them. CM Evans Cartoons

News - THINGS DON'T WORK

Hey -- I'm firing up my long neglected blog THINGS DON'T WORK. Used to just be for technology, but now TDW will be for multi-topical bitching and complaining, too. Because everything should generally work better than it does, and it could, if people gave a damn. Drop by and see the latest diatribe -- airline horror stories. If you have a topic or a complaint, feel free to send it to me. If it is good, I'll just put it up.

Cartoon #985 -- Steep

I have a serious child sitting here in my lap. He's almost a year old, and he's seen many things -- stuffed animals galore, diapers, blankets and those socks that look like miniature shoes. I know he's feeling these things, down deep in his heart, it makes him sigh as his dad types one-handed into the computer. Johnny Cash was so right -- there's something 'bout a Sunday morning, Lord, it can make us feel like we was stone. There's something about a Sunday, that makes a 'body feel alone. We'll skip the dying part, though, and go for a bottle of formula. Ahhhhh. CM Evans Cartoons

News - Apexart Cartoon Show is Up & Running!

We did the opening of the apexart/ Dave Egger's curated cartoon show "Lots of Things Like This" on April 2nd, and it was a smash hit. Almost too much of a good thing -- from the start we had a line of about 50 people going down the block. Rumor is, even David Byrne couldn't get in! If that is true, that's too bad, I would have loved to meet him. The space is a small venue, so we could only hold about 100 people at a time, otherwise we'd have all been crushed to death, and that wouldn't have been fun at all, would it? Part of the frustration stems from (in my opinion) a pent-up demand for installations like this -- funny, satirical, immediate work without a ton of commentary. You go to the space, and it is what it is. I hope people who didn't get in on opening night go back and see the show, it will be up for about a month. apexart does great things for the community and artists, and they definitely deserve the ongoing recognition -- they put their heart and soul into this exhibit. So if you're going to be in NYC or you are already there, go check it out!

Cartoon #984 -- Everything

Questionable, but notice how they have a can, or bin to recycle everything? I admire that. Pitch in! Save the planet! Buy hemp! Go green! Do something with all those severed human heads you'd normally chuck out to clutter up the local landfill! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #983 -- Balloon

Happy Saturday, here ya go. I'd write more, but I gotta do laundry and go to Target. CM Evans Cartoons

News - Apexart Cartoon Show

The artists invited to the April NYC apexart cartoon show "Lots of Things Like This", curated by Dave Eggers, will also be illustrating examples of their work on a wall in the gallery space. So look for that if you'll be going to the opening 6 - 8 PM on April 2. Should be great fun, I'll be drawing some of my work with a giant black marker. Here is a link to the brochure for the show.

Cartoon #982 -- Specks

My gift for you today. I drew this yesterday. I hope you cherish it, and enjoy it, as much as I do. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #981 -- I Read This

Herb Peterson, inventor of the Egg McMuffin, died on Tuesday. I didn't know there was an inventor of the Egg McMuffin. So here's today's cartoon. Nothing to do with fast food breakfast sandwiches. Kinda a weird cartoon, too, but I think it is funny because I can't quite justify it, or even figure it out. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #980 -- Advertising

I think advertising was invented back at about 10,000 B.C., most likely at the same time as the world's oldest profession. Muti-media at that time was cave walls and a burnt stick. And now I'll go on to a joke that doesn't have much to do with the first part of the post: An old fella is celebrating his 100th birthday in the retirement home. His buddies want to give him a gift that he'll never forget, so they get a hooker to come by his room. The girl comes into his room, closes the door, and says, "Are you ready for some super sex?" The old guy looks at her, and he says, "I'll take the soup." IF YOU DON'T GET THE JOKE, READ THE LAST PART OF IT OUT LOUD. CM Evans Cartoons

Link Added - Strange Maps

I added Strange Maps to the Links section of CM Evans Cartoons today. I found this webpage (via Binky the Doormat/ Daniel Gray) totally by accident. Which is nice to discover all on my own, me getting so many links from MetaFilter, BoingBoing, and Look At This. Some of my favorites at Strange Maps: Jefferson's proposed division of states west of the Appalachians, the Topography of Love, AMERICA the MALL, a map of Jesus Christ's "Lost years", a map of the world according to George Orwell's 1984, and where exactly is that Phantom Arctic Island?

Cartoon #979 -- Sexy Stick

Sexy? Er...no. I've been looking at lots of David Shrigley stuff lately. He makes me laugh and he also definitely twists my brain into little multidimensional scintillating gem-like pretzels. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - BM - Ha ha ha....

Oh boy, it is Monday. Here's a little Blasphemer Mouse from the past 4 U. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #978 -- Pile Rug

"Party like it's 1999"....I realize for some of us out there, this means absolutely nothing. Hey, and have a happy Easter! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #977 -- Crap Tourist

This reminds me of something I wrote a few years back, in my old blog, titled, "How to Piss People Off in Foreign Countries". I wrote that cute post after coming back from Europe -- we spent 30 days of going through England, Sweden, Germany, Austria, Italy, and France. Had Christmas in the Austrian Alps. New Years in Paris. Saw many idiotic tourists of all nationalities, being idiotic, and not having the faintest idea they were idiots. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #976 -- Technology

It would occasionally make some high pitched noises. I was told it was very advanced, for the design. I'll blame it on the cats. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #975 -- The Happy Hat

Keeping up the day to day posting & 25 more to go for 1,000 CM Evans Cartoons. I do stuff about hats, I know. Hat. Hat. Hat. Hat. I could make this Happy Hat out of felt & Elmer's glue. It would look good, don't you think? I think I am crafty enough to pull it off. Then we could all drink booze and be happy. CM Evans Cartoons.

Cartoon #974 -- Your Lamp

Your lamp looks unwell. Your lamp looks "affected". It could be the crumpled light shade, or the spotty stains -- is that mildew? Mold? Food? Tell me, did the lamp fall over, or was it trapped for a time between two drunken co-eds? They could have been fighting violently, or making out. It looks like the prongs on the plug of the lamp are missing. Are the prongs still in a light socket, broken off in a bizarre accident? Did you try to use the plug as a bottle opener, and fail miserably? I know, you don't feel so good this morning. You feel poorly, like your unwell lamp. Here, have a cup of cold day-old coffee. CM Evans Cartoons

Links Added - The Bad Cartoonist, The Daily Cartoonist, Comics Curmudgeon

Added "The Bad Cartoonist" to my links section at CM Evans Cartoons. This anonymous guy cracks me up -- he makes some great points about the mediocre state of editorial cartooning & cartoonists. He's new to the blogging scene, some kind of insider that has thrown the professional editorial cartoonist community into a tizzy with some of his acidic comments and perfect examples of the tripe that parades as "great work" by the best of the best. He's been quite now for about a week, so possibly he's been found out. I hope whoever he is, he keeps posting to the site. I've also added "The Daily Cartoonist", a site that tracks the syndicated cartoon industry...who is going up and who is on the way down, book deals, controversies, industry bloopers. Then, I had to include "The Comics Curmudgeon", a very grouchy, funny commentator on "quality" cartooning being done today.

Cartoon #973 -- Joe Still Life

This happened to me once in the state of Missouri. You think all kinds of interesting thoughts, stuck standing on the trigger plate of a giant man-trap. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon #972 -- The Entire GA

OK, so this is how it goes. I'll be posting a cartoon a day on the home stretch for 1,000 CM Evans Cartoons. I drew this one out of a batch of 20, and damn it -- this is funny. The Entire GA.

Cartoon #971 -- Moon Shot

Do we have posting fatigue yet? I switched to a blue ball-point pen and set off a whole new batch of cartoons. Here's Moon Shot. Side note: We're coming up on the 1,000th posted cartoon to CM Evans Cartoons...I think there's about 19 to go before that magic number is cracked. That was always a goal for me -- run the cartoon website and get 1,000 cartoons up. Passing 500,000 visits (clicks) was a nice milestone too, but I know popular websites do that in less than a day. CM Evans Cartoons

News - Apexart Show - Steel Wool

Here's "Steel Wool" -- the fourth cartoon of mine in the apexart cartoon show.

News - Apexart Show - Abe in a Straw Hat

"Abe in a Straw Hat" -- another cartoon to be in Dave Eggers' cartoon extravaganza, at apexart.

News - Apexart Show - My Computer

Here's another cartoon of mine that will be in the apexart show in April -- "My Computer"

News - Apexart Show - Home Plate

Here's "Home Plate" -- to be in the April apexart show.

Cartoon - Joe Pirates

Do you think you get to be a pirate, and still be nice? Not if you go all the way, man. Pirates are jerks -- they have to be. CM Evans Cartoons

News - CM Evans Cartoons @ Apexart in NYC + McSweeney's

Big news! I've been invited by Dave Eggers to be a participant in a cartoon show at apexart in New York in April. The title of the show is "Lots of Things like This", and will feature 100 cartoons from blockbusting talents like Saul Steinberg, R. Crumb, William Steig, Ralph Steadman, Shel Silverstein, David Shrigley, Nedko Solakov...keerist the list goes on. There will even be work by Alasdair Gray, one of my favorite writers & illustrator. Topping it all off (if it could be topped off), McSweeney's will be publishing an edition that will be a companion to the show. My work will be in that publication too. I am frankly, totally amazed this is happening. Up to this point, I haven't been invited to be in anything, anywhere. If you love art, cartooning, or satire, you won't want to miss this installation. Opening is on April 2, from 6 - 8 PM. The show runs April 2 - May 10. If you make it out on April 2, I'll see you there!

Cartoon - Nightbugs

Yarg! Look out! Look out! Here they come, bathed in the moony moonlight! Chomp... chomp... chomp... Just in time for Daylight Savings Time! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fart Recycling

Someday we will be able to recycle farts of all kinds, be it human, or cow, or chimp, or elephant, or sheep, or chickens, or horses, or mice, or termites, or eagles, or lobsters & clams. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Monkey

Hey, don't get me wrong, I love them natural, sustainable fibers. And I look good in them. And with some of them, I am definitely allergic. Allergic like an itchy monkey. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Sushi in a Bottle

Damn, man. Why can't I get me some of that? I want it bad! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - So Much

This isn't your normally scheduled cartoon update. It was a 40 foot drop from the top of the cliff to the bottom, but we had airbags, so we were okay when we hit the rocks. But the rolling over and over again after that down the canyon was not what I expected. Nor did I ever suspect how many homeless encampments we'd pass through, on the way to the beach. Thank goodness nobody was hurt. Some personal possessions were squished. And the limo, too. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Hi Honey

I had a lousy caption for this one, so I got rid of it. Feel free to add your own caption, if you think it needs one. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Stay Off

I can say write many words about this cartoon. Puerile. Childish. Didactic. Immature. Fabricated. Hammy. Extravagant. Inordinate. Stupid. Infantile. Boorish. Preposterous. Overdone. Immoderate. Idiotic. Gratuitous. For all those reasons, funny, too. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cupid Sez

Happy Valentine's Day to us all! Let us check the list -- right off, I supposed we are missing Roses -- a dozen if you are serious. I didn't have room for roses in the cartoon, so forgive me. Plus roses are a pain in the ass to draw. But we do have a big red overpowering Valentine & Box O Chocolates...check, check. Fine Wine, yes -- and Movie Tickets -- for the fellas out there, it better be for a "chick flick" like Juno, not anything remotely like Rambo. Doing great so far. Don't mess this up. What did you say? Ah, the paddle, or "swatter". Where did that come from? Well, it does have a cute heart on it. If you're bugged, swat with it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Le Grant Kalendrier

Posted back on 10/2004. I don't think people have looked at this one closely. I mean, look closely, don't worry -- nothing is going to pop out at you and scream like a banshee scaring the pants off of you. Do you see the cell phones? Ha ha ha ha! One of the tormented (upper right) is even still ordering Chinese take-out. That is hilarious! I crack myself up sometimes, distorting history. I should add some of those stupid blue-tooth headsets to update it all the way. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Interrupted

Totally unreasonable. Gave me a citation for like $500.00. God made high explosives, and God made fish, right? Why can't we use both? Besides, I don't think Boot Lake is stocked with anything, except old boots and Skripes. And those Skripes ain't even a native species. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Clapper

BELL: Ding dong!
WILL: Hey, it's not so bad.
BELL: Ding dong!
WILL: Not too bad.
BELL: Ding Dong!!
WILL: Ouch..what the hell.
BELL: DING DONG!!!
WILL: M***** F***** this sucks!

Ding dong. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - No Nuthin

Well, we made it to the middle of the week. How are things going? Well, I hope. Me, I manage to get along, somehow. Ignorance might not be Bliss, but at time it is close to being Satisfied, before everything comes crashing down in a Perfect Avalanche of Destruction. Gallows Humor? No, not really. I think despite it all, I retain a sunny disposition. Do well, and fear not. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Rare Plants

I always liked this cartoon. I was playing with the "Random Cartoon" button on my website and found this today. Do you know how hard it is to draw a plant playing a violin? Try it sometime. CM Evans Cartoons

Updating to CM Evans Cartoons -- Fixed!

Hey, it is fixed now. I can upload to CM Evans Cartoons. Thanks Jason. Last two, below here, are now up & live. Yay!

Cartoon - UFO or Upset Party Favor

Updates go on, here, at Blogger. Website CM Evans Cartoons still has a problem, I can't upload to it. Investigating the issue. Hopefully I'll get it fixed soon. BTW -- I think this is a UFO -- not an "Upset Party Favor". But I have been wrong, in the past. Take me to your leader. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - This Cool Flower

I posted some depressing poems over at my writing blog Giganticjet. So I decided to post a happy cartoon (above) at CM Evans Cartoons. But then when I tried to upload the cartoon to the website, uploading is broken. Hopefully it will be fixed soon. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - FORK HELMET

You can't see it in the cartoon, but under the table, I also have a accordion! Yes, that is correct. A functioning accordion READY TO PLAY. Go ahead, try and stop me. With my Fork Helmet I am invincible. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Now I Need

"Now I Need" -- truly a gift for the person who has everything, an antique fire nozzle. Or an ideal gift for the person who doesn't like anything you give them. Also, perfect for history buffs, collectors of things made out of brass, people with OCD (you'll need to get a hose, a fire hydrant, a old timie pumping truck, period fire men, antique fire uniforms, and an 1880s fire house, period fire dog, period horses, next), the list goes on and on. Quick! Go to ebay and search for "fire hose nozzle" and start bidding for one today! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BUH

Oh, second day into the New Year and I felt so guilty! I had been lax on updating the website...traveling to and fro, now in Orange County for a few days...finished my fourth collection of work, called "HOME". I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a fantabulous New Year. My only present for Xmas was an old can of split-pea soup. But hey, it is an edible gift, so this too shall pass. BUH!! CM Evans Cartoons