A Companion to the Website CM EVANS CARTOONS that also takes out the trash to end the insanity
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Cartoon - Lack of Imagination Christmas Trees
Ooooh boy, I'm gearing up for the holidays now -- with cartoons! There should be a slew of them following, until the jolly fat man squeezes his ass down the chimney. Excuse me? Like what Clark Griswold said. CM Evans Cartoons
Cartoon - 12 Days of Christmas
Argh! That "12 days of Christmas" song is a song of the insane. It is right up there with Schrödinger's Cat. Who the hell does sh*t like giving gifts like that, over any period of time? Anyone would be completely creeped out.
"Oh my god, he's still sending me gifts."
"Oh no! What did he send this time?"
"Geese shitting eggs all over the place!"
"What? Geese? What's with the birds?"
"I know, I'm still cleaning up from the Hens and the Doves."
CM Evans Cartoons
"Oh my god, he's still sending me gifts."
"Oh no! What did he send this time?"
"Geese shitting eggs all over the place!"
"What? Geese? What's with the birds?"
"I know, I'm still cleaning up from the Hens and the Doves."
CM Evans Cartoons
Monday, December 16, 2013
Cartoon - Christmas Again
Are you all ready for Christmas? I did a cartoon like this last year. This is what I think, when I'm getting ready for Christmas. Now you can see how my mind works, inside. And if I draw this feller one more time, with a small door to a yellow house with an oversized Christmas tree, then he becomes a character. He becomes "Struggling Christmas Tree Insertion Man", or, "Overly Optimistic Solo Tannenbaum Buyer". But also -- I guess the cartoon guy still has to get his lights up. I don't know if he got them going last year. CM Evans Cartoons
Sunday, December 01, 2013
Fred is Stacked
Good old Fred. He's a red male Maine Coon, 7 years old, the best cat in the whole world. Nothing seems to get him down, as long as you give him food, and a place to lay. We've been stacking things on him for years. CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Post no. 666 -- Doormats! American Thanksgiving! Hanukah!
I started this blog in 2005 and I had no idea it would last this long. So here is post no. 666. I like painting. I especially like painting on doormats. This might be my all-time preferred media. Have a happy Thanksgiving, if you're celebrating, and a happy Hanukah. Next time the American holiday of Thanksgiving and Hanukah will cross, is in about 80,000 years. I don't know if humans will be around, but possibly the cockroaches or raccoons will have evolved sufficiently to enjoy a sumptuous feast. Travel safe, if you are on the road. CM Evans Cartoons
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Cartoon - Started in 12
Goes to show you if you start in 12, look out for 1. Obviously, right? Now what about the full moon last night, seen all over the world. It was full right? The majority of us reading this can see a full moon and be next to a Walmart. Throw in some American 1950s rock 'n roll and we're all good. CM Evans Cartoons
Friday, November 15, 2013
Cartoon - When In Rome
I can learn so much from The Classics. It seems sexual harassment and kidnapping were invented later -- might have been after the Renaissance. "The women in course of time lost their resentment." Book 1, page 19, 'Rome Under the Kings', Livy. CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Cartoon - All My Dreams
I just spent a very pleasant evening at IKEA -- doing nothing but read books in Swedish, and sit on the furniture. I don't read Swedish, so now I should probably learn. I tried out every interesting couch, bed, chair, living room, apartment, and kitchen possible. Took a very careful look at everything from knives, candle lanterns, to stuffed toys. CM Evans Cartoons
Friday, October 25, 2013
Cartoon - Head is a House
I've been reading about Dada at the open reading we have every month. I've never considered how Taoism, Zen, and Buddhism could have influenced Dada. I had one of those realizations that was starkly obvious -- Dada is simple, yet hard to define, it eludes easy categorization, pointedly rambunctious, even mysterious or illusive, but why? How definable is the Tao, or when you try to capture it? Where is the gateless gate? Did Dada really 'die out' as a movement, or has Dada ideals and methods been appropriated by other art movements that are more easily objectified and made into "-isms"? Is Dada lurking, sound and well, under the camouflage of other conceptual and philosophical activities? Of course! I see it! Ba ba Dada! La la Dada! Hoo haaa haa! CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Cartoon - Calling for Bashō
I've been doing some meditative and spiritual work, and I see that one of my greatest defects is 'inflation' -- making my thoughts, feelings, and ideals much bigger than they really are. This tends to influence everything I do, even how I look at people, and how I problem solve. I also tend to be a 'yes man' to hide my stubbornness. There's a fair amount of insecurity running around in the back of my head, too. Well, the good news is by knowing your flaws, by being honest what motivates you, you can start to relate to defects differently and catch them earlier when they run amok. Anyone willing to do this, even try to get honest, I've seen them become so much happier. Bashō believed we can also get to this by embracing nature, and lowering the importance on 'personality'. In the end, we are home everywhere we go, and I'm happy thinking that. CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Cartoon - Meteor Vacation
I've had it. After reading my 10th, or 24th news bulletin, about another surprise meteor being observed in different parts of the world, and how big and awesome it was -- over the past year and a half -- I'm getting all paranoid. I don't remember having so many reports on meteors. It could be that with all the proliferation of dash cameras and camera phones, people can more easily record them fireballs in the sky. But if you were an astronomer and you realized we are going to be smashed by a cloud of space rocks, and we can't do anything about it, I'd probably agree not to talk about it if there was no way of escaping it. This is me being jovial and cheerful. Not being paranoid. Have a nice day. Even if the world ends. It probably won't. CM Evans Cartoons
Monday, October 14, 2013
Cartoon - Robot Story
I hope all you robots out there are having a great day today! If you need any oil or a quick charge, come on by, and I'll see what I can stuff in your socket. CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, October 02, 2013
Art Dada - "El Diablo de Laguna Beach"
September 29th
Getting started
October 2nd
Installation
Just finished a new scarecrow sculpture for a gallery nearby on the PCH. "El Diablo de Laguna Beach". Initially I got stumped on the prospect of building the form of the scarecrow, or integrating it -- it turns out to be a structural issue, and hit a number of discouraging dead ends. Then the work literally built itself in the explosive 'Dada' way -- it came out quick. Dada n'est pas mort! Vive Dada!Made of recycled foam, cardboard, shredded notepapers, tape, and epoxy. It is taller than 6 feet in height. If you're in the area, go see it and vote on it for the competition!
AIR Laguna Gallery -- 658 South Pacific Coast highway, Laguna Beach -- between Legion and Cleo
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Cartoon - Really
All kinds of things happen to me in this life, and all I can do is appear to be 'normal' when I have bizarre jokes running though my head. CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, September 04, 2013
Cartoon - Let Me Illustrate
I'm gone like a kook with some patterns and color here. Color can be hard to get into a cartoon. CM Evans Cartoons
Tuesday, September 03, 2013
Cartoon - Poor Baby
People are rightly totally unsympathetic when I cartoon like this. Because the Universe sucks. Those who agree with me know what I'm sayin'. I'll go adjust my attitude now, by inventing a new sport, or doing something constructive -- like drinking 50 glasses of water. CM Evans Cartoons
Friday, August 30, 2013
Cartoon - Depressed Star Wars
I've been listening to a lot of French Café music from the 1950s on an old iPod I just found. I think about things like this, simultaneously. Who does not get depressed when they read about the results of researching depressed people -- especially when the results indicate that it is more depressing than previously thought? And everybody knows the 'unshielded thermal exhaust port' is uncovered on the Death Star, and open to the sky, without any overhanging obstructions...so why didn't the Rebels just bomb it from space? Or if bombs couldn't be used, just charge directly down FROM space over the exhaust port, rather than going down a skinny equatorial trench where you have no room to maneuver and can be shot at and ambushed from behind? And, never mind! CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Non Cartoon - Random Drawings from the Files
I have some deep files, and I've been going through boxes that were inaccessible for a few years, just come to light, so here are some drawings of the non-cartoon variety. I have an interest in the mechanics, or methods, of 'auto-generation' of symbols and language. I've played also with random letter generation, via matrix and diagrams. Also, I've always loved maps, and I was always making new maps of worlds and places to discover.
fig. 1
Mystic tablet, of a series of tablets, designed to generate language and symbolic combinations automatically.
fig. 2
Map from an adventure story/ plot I was fooling around with in the late 1980s, or early 1990s.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Cartoon - BigLegs
Two cartoons in one day? Only if you ask me out on a date. No? I was just kidding. JUST KISSING! What? I didn't say anything. No, not what you thought I said. Asking you out on a date? Why, thanks but no. What is your sign? Leo? Cancers don't complement Leo. Because? I don't know. I'm shy.
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CM Evans Cartoons
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CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Cartoon - BM Hobbit Farewell
Most of the time is really easy for me to post text with a cartoon I'm putting up here, and today was going to be one of those days where the words just effortlessly flowed off my fingertips, to the keyboard. The post would be witty, not to snide, nor completely off the wall. You'd smile, roll your eyes, or laugh, when you read the post I was going to write. You might have even shared it with a friend. But this did not happen today. I screwed it up. So blah blah blah. My bike tire has a flat. CM EVANS CARTOONS
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Picture - A Cartoonist Laughing in a Tree
OK -- here I am -- laughing in a tree. Have you ever tried cartooning in a tree? Good luck! CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Cartoon - Trio Shoe Store
I wonder if I go to the Succotash Justice Law Center, the Sewing Marine Company, and the Cupcake Insurance Group, I'll be able to eat a legal meal, get my torn pants fixed with nautical strength thread, and insure my pound cake -- all in on afternoon? Well, at least I don't have to wait for 'the other shoe to drop'. I have an extra one! CM Evans Cartoons
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Cartoon - Old Fashioned
Yep, in the 'olden days', when ya had a hankerin'* for some gal or guy, and phones didn't exist, and electricity was mysterious, you'd sit down and write them a post card. But post cards were invented after phones, though, so never mind. I was thinking about a telegram. No I wasn't.
CM Evans Cartoons
* Hankerin', Hankern', Hank-er-un', Hankrin', Ben Franklin', Hunkerun', Hunkrin'
CM Evans Cartoons
* Hankerin', Hankern', Hank-er-un', Hankrin', Ben Franklin', Hunkerun', Hunkrin'
Monday, August 12, 2013
Cartoon - Roll Over, Erwin Schrödinger -- Your Cat Story is Stupid
"Today’s Google Doodle celebrates the life of Austrian physicist and Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger (August 12, 1887 — January 4, 1961), a founder of quantum physics who used cats to explain things long before Internet cat videos became cool."
Nice! And here is mine. Happy 147th birthday, Schrödinger, or 233rd birthday -- or however vastly old you'd be, if it was possible you'd be alive today. Or even want to be alive today. Which always confused me, on how they keep celebrating birthdays of certain celebrities and famous people, as if they'd still be alive now.
And I also wondered how long you'd realistically be able leave any normal cat in a box, before you'd basically know the cat was going to be dead, no matter what simultaneous state it theoretically be in. You know what I mean? Cats fuck with everything. You can't blame the cat.
Not to be overly critical, but I think Schrödinger's cat story is stupid, and it always was stupid. But professors have been telling it for so long to students, and expecting them to know it, we pretend it makes sense. Why not a baby with a flamethrower, or a walrus with a hand-grenade?
Well, nevermind! Drink up! Three cheers to Erwin Schrödinger! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, alive! Yes! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, dead! I heard he was master of Kung-Fu too. Too bad he didn't give us some snappy Kung-Fu analogies.
CM Evans Cartoons
Nice! And here is mine. Happy 147th birthday, Schrödinger, or 233rd birthday -- or however vastly old you'd be, if it was possible you'd be alive today. Or even want to be alive today. Which always confused me, on how they keep celebrating birthdays of certain celebrities and famous people, as if they'd still be alive now.
And I also wondered how long you'd realistically be able leave any normal cat in a box, before you'd basically know the cat was going to be dead, no matter what simultaneous state it theoretically be in. You know what I mean? Cats fuck with everything. You can't blame the cat.
Not to be overly critical, but I think Schrödinger's cat story is stupid, and it always was stupid. But professors have been telling it for so long to students, and expecting them to know it, we pretend it makes sense. Why not a baby with a flamethrower, or a walrus with a hand-grenade?
Well, nevermind! Drink up! Three cheers to Erwin Schrödinger! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, alive! Yes! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, dead! I heard he was master of Kung-Fu too. Too bad he didn't give us some snappy Kung-Fu analogies.
CM Evans Cartoons
Sunday, August 11, 2013
Cartoon - Denmark
I have a friend staying in the city of Aalborg, and being jet-lagged, he has some questions about Denmark. Knowing nothing about Denmark I tried to help him out, about some of the countries' customs, building regulations, and geological situation. He said that there are many modern Danish brick buildings, and I told him that these were 'mock' brick Danish buildings -- because bricks are illegal in Denmark. Bricks are prohibited, because a brick might fall on someone and they'd get hurt. He remarked that the city is very flat, and I told him Aalborg sold most of its hills to San Francisco, during the gold rush in California. Those where the days! I think he's asleep now. I'm glad to be of service. I guess, in a pinch, when someone is jet-lagged, I can be an expert on just about anything. CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, August 08, 2013
Cartoon - Funny Cartoon
Here it is -- the perfect apology message for all of you who innocently go on a blind date and get drunk, or you drink too much, and it isn't anyone's fault specifically (or the bartender's) -- and a bunch of things go down, but you manage to get home with the date anyways, and you get lost in the house and can't find a way out while some small dogs chase you unmercifully around, while some stuff gets broken and you pee in a small bathroom that is full of shoes and dresses. CM Evans Cartoons
Monday, August 05, 2013
Cartoon - Genie
Sometimes we don't know a good thing until we mess it up. Or, this is just me.
CM Evans Cartoons
PS.
Shout out to my buddies from Macedonia. Latvia -- you too -- you're amazing. If there is a pretty girl in Latvia, and you like my work, let's go out.
CM Evans Cartoons
PS.
Shout out to my buddies from Macedonia. Latvia -- you too -- you're amazing. If there is a pretty girl in Latvia, and you like my work, let's go out.
Bar Sketch
This is what a bar looks like at about 2.00 AM -- when most people there are drunk and rotating around in circles in the center of the room, or else making out furiously in the corners & under tables.
At "The Pikey".
At "The Pikey".
Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no.1
A scoop of LA zeitgeist.
Drawn at 'The Pikey' on W Sunset Boulevard. We had a good old time.
CM Evans Cartoons
Drawn at 'The Pikey' on W Sunset Boulevard. We had a good old time.
CM Evans Cartoons
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Cartoon - Spic n Span
Ok -- Now how often does this happen? In drawing this, I confess, I was a bit worried about getting the push brooms drawn right. But see, they came out just fine -- big and awkward.
Some people joke that when you start to really get your life together, it is like stomping on the brakes on a runaway truck. The first jolt is when the truck stops. The second series of jolts, is when all the crap that is in the back of the truck flies trough the air from the back of the truck, to the front of the truck, because you stopped.
But you know, I've been building my life back for over three years, so not much shit is flying from the back to the front that I forgot I had back there.
CM Evans Cartoons
Some people joke that when you start to really get your life together, it is like stomping on the brakes on a runaway truck. The first jolt is when the truck stops. The second series of jolts, is when all the crap that is in the back of the truck flies trough the air from the back of the truck, to the front of the truck, because you stopped.
But you know, I've been building my life back for over three years, so not much shit is flying from the back to the front that I forgot I had back there.
CM Evans Cartoons
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Cartoon - How Did Your Blind Date Go?
Here is an example of a cartoon, before I edit it
and then afterwards.
Howard Hughes, though admirable, is not a very good subject to break out with pretty girls on first dates, especially blind dates, nerdboys. I suggest you try topics like bar décor, if you are in a bar -- hobbies, or humorous observations. I you especially daring -- oh, never mind. I was going to say tell a joke, but you'd just be better off encouraging her to talk about what she is interested in.
CM Evans Cartoons
and then afterwards.
Howard Hughes, though admirable, is not a very good subject to break out with pretty girls on first dates, especially blind dates, nerdboys. I suggest you try topics like bar décor, if you are in a bar -- hobbies, or humorous observations. I you especially daring -- oh, never mind. I was going to say tell a joke, but you'd just be better off encouraging her to talk about what she is interested in.
CM Evans Cartoons
Friday, June 28, 2013
Cartoon - Tesla Monopoly
I think this could be a good thing. I mean, an 'enhancement'. It would be hard to insure. CM Evans Cartoons
Thursday, June 27, 2013
Cartoon - Good to Go
Three cartoons in one day. I think I'm gonna post 400 more cartoons tomorrow. CM Evans Cartoons
Cartoon - My Way
I had a hernia operation this month, and look what happens. Very few cartoons. Horrible! CM Evans Cartoons
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