Cartoon - Really

All kinds of things happen to me in this life, and all I can do is appear to be 'normal' when I have bizarre jokes running though my head. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Let Me Illustrate

I'm gone like a kook with some patterns and color here. Color can be hard to get into a cartoon. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Poor Baby

People are rightly totally unsympathetic when I cartoon like this. Because the Universe sucks. Those who agree with me know what I'm sayin'. I'll go adjust my attitude now, by inventing a new sport, or doing something constructive -- like drinking 50 glasses of water. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Depressed Star Wars

I've been listening to a lot of French Café music from the 1950s on an old iPod I just found. I think about things like this, simultaneously. Who does not get depressed when they read about the results of researching depressed people -- especially when the results indicate that it is more depressing than previously thought? And everybody knows the 'unshielded thermal exhaust port' is uncovered on the Death Star, and open to the sky, without any overhanging obstructions...so why didn't the Rebels just bomb it from space? Or if bombs couldn't be used, just charge directly down FROM space over the exhaust port, rather than going down a skinny equatorial trench where you have no room to maneuver and can be shot at and ambushed from behind? And, never mind! CM Evans Cartoons

Non Cartoon - Random Drawings from the Files

I have some deep files, and I've been going through boxes that were inaccessible for a few years, just come to light, so here are some drawings of the non-cartoon variety. I have an interest in the mechanics, or methods, of 'auto-generation' of symbols and language. I've played also with random letter generation, via matrix and diagrams. Also, I've always loved maps, and I was always making new maps of worlds and places to discover.

 

fig. 1

 

Mystic tablet, of a series of tablets, designed to generate language and symbolic combinations automatically.

 

 

 

fig. 2

 

Map from an adventure story/ plot I was fooling around with in the late 1980s, or early 1990s.

Cartoon - BigLegs

Two cartoons in one day? Only if you ask me out on a date. No? I was just kidding. JUST KISSING! What? I didn't say anything. No, not what you thought I said. Asking you out on a date? Why, thanks but no. What is your sign? Leo? Cancers don't complement Leo. Because? I don't know. I'm shy.

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CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Big Room

Only happens to me once in a great while. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BM Hobbit Farewell

Most of the time is really easy for me to post text with a cartoon I'm putting up here, and today was going to be one of those days where the words just effortlessly flowed off my fingertips, to the keyboard. The post would be witty, not to snide, nor completely off the wall. You'd smile, roll your eyes, or laugh, when you read the post I was going to write. You might have even shared it with a friend. But this did not happen today. I screwed it up. So blah blah blah. My bike tire has a flat. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Picture - A Cartoonist Laughing in a Tree

OK -- here I am -- laughing in a tree. Have you ever tried cartooning in a tree? Good luck! CM Evans Cartoons

Picture - For Some FRONT is the new Back

A picture, not a cartoon. I can't get this figured out. XXXOOXXX CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Trio Shoe Store

I wonder if I go to the Succotash Justice Law Center, the Sewing Marine Company, and the Cupcake Insurance Group, I'll be able to eat a legal meal, get my torn pants fixed with nautical strength thread, and insure my pound cake -- all in on afternoon? Well, at least I don't have to wait for 'the other shoe to drop'. I have an extra one! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Old Fashioned

Yep, in the 'olden days', when ya had a hankerin'* for some gal or guy, and phones didn't exist, and electricity was mysterious, you'd sit down and write them a post card. But post cards were invented after phones, though, so never mind. I was thinking about a telegram. No I wasn't.

CM Evans Cartoons


* Hankerin', Hankern', Hank-er-un', Hankrin', Ben Franklin', Hunkerun', Hunkrin'

Cartoon - Roll Over, Erwin Schrödinger -- Your Cat Story is Stupid

"Today’s Google Doodle celebrates the life of Austrian physicist and Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger (August 12, 1887 — January 4, 1961), a founder of quantum physics who used cats to explain things long before Internet cat videos became cool."

Nice! And here is mine. Happy 147th birthday, Schrödinger, or 233rd birthday -- or however vastly old you'd be, if it was possible you'd be alive today. Or even want to be alive today. Which always confused me, on how they keep celebrating birthdays of certain celebrities and famous people, as if they'd still be alive now.

And I also wondered how long you'd realistically be able leave any normal cat in a box, before you'd basically know the cat was going to be dead, no matter what simultaneous state it theoretically be in. You know what I mean? Cats fuck with everything. You can't blame the cat.

Not to be overly critical, but I think Schrödinger's cat story is stupid, and it always was stupid. But professors have been telling it for so long to students, and expecting them to know it, we pretend it makes sense. Why not a baby with a flamethrower, or a walrus with a hand-grenade?

Well, nevermind! Drink up! Three cheers to Erwin Schrödinger! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, alive! Yes! Nobel Prize winner Erwin Schrödinger, dead! I heard he was master of Kung-Fu too. Too bad he didn't give us some snappy Kung-Fu analogies.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Denmark

I have a friend staying in the city of Aalborg, and being jet-lagged, he has some questions about Denmark. Knowing nothing about Denmark I tried to help him out, about some of the countries' customs, building regulations, and geological situation. He said that there are many modern Danish brick buildings, and I told him that these were 'mock' brick Danish buildings -- because bricks are illegal in Denmark. Bricks are prohibited, because a brick might fall on someone and they'd get hurt. He remarked that the city is very flat, and I told him Aalborg sold most of its hills to San Francisco, during the gold rush in California. Those where the days! I think he's asleep now. I'm glad to be of service. I guess, in a pinch, when someone is jet-lagged, I can be an expert on just about anything. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Funny Cartoon

Here it is -- the perfect apology message for all of you who innocently go on a blind date and get drunk, or you drink too much, and it isn't anyone's fault specifically (or the bartender's) -- and a bunch of things go down, but you manage to get home with the date anyways, and you get lost in the house and can't find a way out while some small dogs chase you unmercifully around, while some stuff gets broken and you pee in a small bathroom that is full of shoes and dresses. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Genie

Sometimes we don't know a good thing until we mess it up. Or, this is just me.

CM Evans Cartoons


PS.

Shout out to my buddies from Macedonia. Latvia -- you too -- you're amazing. If there is a pretty girl in Latvia, and you like my work, let's go out.

Bar Sketch

This is what a bar looks like at about 2.00 AM -- when most people there are drunk and rotating around in circles in the center of the room, or else making out furiously in the corners & under tables.

At "The Pikey".

Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no.3

One more -- yessire. Very very upstanding.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no.1

A scoop of LA zeitgeist.

Drawn at 'The Pikey' on W Sunset Boulevard. We had a good old time.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- A Scoop of LA Zeitgeist / Midnight LA Cartoon no. 2

Another cartoon drawn at 'The Pikey'.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon (s) - Forget & Big

As an artist, I prefer my work to speak for itself -- so speak, work -- speak!

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Spic n Span

Ok -- Now how often does this happen? In drawing this, I confess, I was a bit worried about getting the push brooms drawn right. But see, they came out just fine -- big and awkward.

Some people joke that when you start to really get your life together, it is like stomping on the brakes on a runaway truck. The first jolt is when the truck stops. The second series of jolts, is when all the crap that is in the back of the truck flies trough the air from the back of the truck, to the front of the truck, because you stopped.

But you know, I've been building my life back for over three years, so not much shit is flying from the back to the front that I forgot I had back there.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - How Did Your Blind Date Go?

Here is an example of a cartoon, before I edit it

and then afterwards.

Howard Hughes, though admirable, is not a very good subject to break out with pretty girls on first dates, especially blind dates, nerdboys. I suggest you try topics like bar décor, if you are in a bar -- hobbies, or humorous observations. I you especially daring -- oh, never mind. I was going to say tell a joke, but you'd just be better off encouraging her to talk about what she is interested in.


CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Tesla Monopoly

I think this could be a good thing. I mean, an 'enhancement'. It would be hard to insure. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Good to Go

Three cartoons in one day. I think I'm gonna post 400 more cartoons tomorrow. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bowling Chains

This just happened. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - My Way

I had a hernia operation this month, and look what happens. Very few cartoons. Horrible! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - King of Idiots

Someone is moving into an apartment nearby here, and every time they take a load down the moving ramp, it sounds like a bucket of chains being dumped on a steel floor. People are laughing, slamming doors, and singing too, telling jokes. The sun just came out. Happy Friday! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fish Costume

Pick your battles, and costumes. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Going on Vacation

I have a few people in my life who will do this for me. I'm appreciating this. The cartoon looks all wavy because I drew it with a blunt pencil on a book, not because I'm having a stroke or I'm crazy. Well, I am crazy. CRAZYGOOD I think. If you point out how I'm ignorant or silly I am, I promise I'll listen. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Crowd Source Me

I heard how they were gonna crowdsource the digital recording of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack. Then I had my own ideas for crowdsourcing. I started with 'Crowd' and 'Source' separated, and gee, I though that was so funny, I didn't correct it. You could crowdsource me to get the two words together. But see, I do it all on my own. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Getting Over

I have dust in my eye, or a hair in my eye, or the nation of Spain in my eye. This morning I overhead someone talking about how wonderful Portugal is.

Portugal rocks! You can chill in Portugal. All the homies are in Portugal, the get DOWN there man, serously! Some of them are way cool, in Portugal.

You say 'Portugal' and I think 'Spain'. You say 'Portugal' and I think 'Barcelona'. I think I'll go grab all my money, and get to Spain on a red-eye, and have no money for the rest of the trip. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Qyeneist Je is Kekis Ke

Qyeneist je is kekis ke -- blah chungs sammolite blah blah, blah tobbouis chresher blah -- keosi blah
chroupsole blah. Whoo keism whoo, whoo, la la. Blah veroiu blah, meep, whpoo, da da da da da. Neep neep, boing, schwing -- tap tap, bleep. Blah sjemu blah wyhens woie blah, zwhooop, zing, zap, pop. Meep meep, meepo, zeepo, shoopo -- querty; morro borrlo barrlo, wherlo. Zinga zinga-dinga brillo, zero, mopes. Hungo que tobrillo zoundcaper Soundperant pants, verguilo -- chump fenaisus, billi pops mom throughsm. Bagel and cream cheese. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Okeeee

 

OK -- just working things out in diagrams, now. They save me time, rather than writing about this. I understand the concept: In diagram  no. 1, you surrender, and become less selfish and fearful. And most of the time it works for me. But I can be very stubborn. Thus, diagram no.2. Oh, well. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Like and Like

I learned if I take my time, in the right time, in the right way, there's lots of sides to anything -- just like there's lots of sides to a tree, a sunny day, or an opera. You taught me this -- thanks!  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Go Figure

Here is a bit of brilliance I found on an electronic clipboard:

Note we didin’t take a section of the seq – see if it still misbehaves like this:
No XDCAM presets
User picks NTSC H.264, AAC 48 khz – gets 2 asserts they   – rendering now is grey and scattered
User picks to “Embed in output File” – app asserts, they
User trims the export to be just after the CTI line indicated in the Export Settings preview timeline – app asserts – user it
Exports inprocess - -app asserts – user 
Media Encoder: Error compiling movie. Unknown Error.
Queue
Assert
AME launches
Assert
Exporting completes

I am a poet, no doubt.

CM Evans Cartoons

PS

I had a dream that I was hanging out with a few Nordic gods -- Odin being one of them. All was fine, until this big creature -- something out of Star-Wars, pissed off Odin, so he killed it by jumping through the monster like a Odin-projectile. I remember thinking in the dream, wow, messy, and I guess a God can kill things by jumping through them. Never thought of it that way. Then I wake up.

Cartoon - Relaxed

Whenever I get blue, I remind myself that cartooning is better than ballancing ice-cream cones on the CM Evans Cartoons tips of my fingers.

Cartoon - Here It Is

Here it is. I figured this out today. Not just about me, probably everybody. Okay, fine! This does nto have to do with you. You're different. No, I'm not bringing this up because I ate all the ice-cream. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Know

I chop wood, carry water, read the sports page and watch baseball. I don't have much time to meditate or be one with the Universe. I do have time to worry about where my baseball cards from 1975 went, or miss my record collection I gave to a friend who stopped talking to me in 1992. And there is wondering why the sky is blue, thinking about how reflections are microscopic, and if you can preserve avocados. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartooon - Yodeler

Yodeling goes back thousands of years, or it should go back thousands of years. Yelling certainly has/ does/ is. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Horrible Asps

Watch out for those horrible asps. Listening to REM songs online today. I'll probably go to obscure blues, and then Roy Orbison. Then heavy metal, Motorhead or Guns n Roses. I love the internets. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Quantum Entanglement vs. Cute

Quantum Entanglement. How do I summarize this? The concept is, if one hunk of matter comes in contact with another hunk of matter, there can be some kind of quantum exchange that occurs -- a harmonization between the two of them, they rub off on one another. After this, no matter how far apart the two bodies are, when something happens to one of them, it also happens/ echoes to the other body in a corresponding way. Some scientists theorize this quantum entanglement could be a method of communication 10,000 times faster than the speed of light, or virtually instantaneous over any distance. Sounds like Love to me, or a broken heart. Take your pick!

CM Evans Cartoons

 

Hi, I'm cute and I have no concepts of

math, or anything. I like paper.

 

CB #1 / CB #2

 

Adorable. Lights stuff on fire with his eyes.

AC -13 / Immune to Irony.

 

Grand. Is able to lick the back of his heels.

Can you lick the back of your heels?

 

 

Cartoon - Crazy Bastards

I've taken in two cats, because a person I know is out of town for a long time, on short notice, and I am dependable and kind to animals.

This morning, the older cat just hit every object I own with a 2 x 4, and the kitten has decided to disassemble the couch with a pair of garden shears. The day before, the kitten pulled out every box of cerial or pasta and threw them at the ceiling, while the bigger cat drove a truck through my bedroom.

Impossible you say? If you could see my apartment right now, you'd believe me. Now I'm going to pet them, and talk to each one of them like they were a baby. To think I once was a 'dog person'. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Lunch/ Launch

This has never happend before, ever. With all the crazy shit that is going down with North Korea, this certainly is not ever going to happen. People in the miltary, a soldier in charge of the button that fires missles, hundreds of missles -- they pick level headed individuals & they have the top best training. Their instructors have a whole bunch of tests that make sure that words like "LUNCH" and LAUNCH" are not mistaken, or taken out of context. They aslo have a series of protocols, too -- binders of them. I bet they do. So this won't happen.

If it did happen, some jerk did it and broke the rules on purpose, because they figured they'd be famous if they started WWIII. I hate people like that. What are the odds of something like this happening. Oh, now I don't want to think about it.

CM EVANS CARTOONS