Cartoon - On Demand

Hello. You might not know this, but you will have a sentimental feeling when you hear -- "Deck the halls and let's be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holy!" Or you may be lonely and diffused and wonder where you ended up. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - I Want

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Blame

Ho ho ho ho! CM Evans Cartoons

Picture - Social Media

My input. Social Media heightens our intelligence.

Cartoon - If I Am

CM Evans Cartoons. Where, on Christmas morning, the sunlight of the spirit overcomes the darkness of the superego.

Cartoon - Ho Ho Hoh Pants

CM Evans Cartoons. Where, on Christmas morning, the hammer of love falls heavily on the anvil of desire.

Cartoon - Angry Phase Angry Phase

TODO:

Calculate remaining Xmas shopping

Return netflix DVDs I've had for 2 years

Get mail

Be resentful


CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Big Red Wow

Here was the biggest filter collision I had. I have no idea where the red / back contrast came from. If filters in Photoshop were always this unpredictable, I'd have started using them all the time for years. Oh -- I have been using them all the time for years. Never-mind.





CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I LIVE IN A WORLD

This cartoon happened as well, today. I've been taking careful notes. I've been sitting here and there, listening. I have no idea why I listened to you. Then you said something funny.

Well, you said a few things that were not funny, but then I took your words out of context, spliced them together, and now you are funny.

The cartoon was funny, then I took it into Photoshop, and it violently collided with a filter. Then it became art. Now I'm worn out.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - And For Me

I prefer my work to speak for itself. Or if it could write, it would write for itself. I guess it would have to do this telepathically, because the cartoon has no arms. I've gotten ahold of some filters in Photoshop and some unpredictable things happened. More of these to follow. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Is That Bad?

I may try to break my posting record of more than 126 cartoons this year. I have about 200 here I am looking at right now. Trouble is I've been cartooning on things like rocks, mud, birds, old wood shingles, and rotten drywall. Try scanning or taking pictures of things like that. Not archival at all. Here is something I can scan that I drew this morning while I was riding my bicycle on the top of a skyscraper. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Throwback - Hilariously Crossed

Here is a cartoon from the past. I have enough cartoons, published, or otherwise, to make huge paper mache figures bigger than a balloon in a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. I have probably 10,000 cartoons. Ok -- I have more than 5,000.

I could make a deadly trap out of all the gags I have drawn. Like the Roman emperor -- was it Nero? He killed his dinner guest with a smothering rain of rose petals.

I could do this with all my drawings. Good thing I ain't an emperor. Or a Pope.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Dumbass

I wish I had something more to write about this -- meaningful things at least. Do you like the multi-colored towel I used as a background? I almost threw this cartoon away, but portrays such a lifestyle, so unlike my own present circumstances, or how I ever was to start with, that I simply had to keep it. My favorite thing to do right now is to ride my bike every morning for about 15 miles, and I have this LED light up skull that I watch cycle through different colors. That is just about it. My social life. I hear from some other people, my life is actually fairly spicy -- I even go to the mall occasionally and read a book sitting on a couch like the mall is my living room, just to be around other people. We're all lonely, mostly -- but pretend we are not. You'll never see me looking like I don't have somewhere to go, or people to meet.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Mind Control

Weeble skeeble, zeeble, meeble - or - the ____________ was going great, it was almost done in record time, when he questioned why it could ever be done right with the concept of it being done in "record time". False, untrue, fuckup -- Zen corpse, shit bag. So he stopped writing and turned the heater on, because he was tired of being thrifty and not running the heater. Shit bag.

a) Poetry book
b) Travelogue
c) Memoir
d) Bodice Ripper


-------

Hot Stove
Irvine

CM Evans Cartoons

10.27.14: News: William Barker interview and gallery on Marguerite Avenue: SCHWA

Exciting news! I have an interview on my web magazine "Marguerite Avenue", featuring William Barker -- creator of "Schwa". Also featured -- a gallery of his work. Just posted. Check it out.

This was a fun interview to do, because Bills work completely influenced me.  Schwa came out of the 1990s and the 'zine' movement -- it was at the top of the best series of work that came out then.

Cryptic, funny, sometimes menacing -- after a long hiatus, I'm glad that Bill is working on Schwa again.

Here is a link to WB on Facebook. And his online store.

http://margueriteavenue.weebly.com/

Cartoon - 7 and 7 and 7

The main thing, is I want to be helpful, and get you the facts. Just the facts. Like in this cartoon. There's a lot more to it than you would think, as you can see. Disney just shaved off a lot. I'm attempting, in my small way, to keep history from being lost.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Hope

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, wherever you are in the world. And I am deeply in love with every one of you. Thanks for being so beautiful. CM Evans Cartoons


P.S.

Feel free to see my work over at Medium.com -- and recommend / forward it to your friends!

News: CM Evans Cartoons over at Medium.com

I started posting cartoons at Medium.com, a cool place that I don't totally understand. If you want to visit -- here is my first post. Recommend it to your friends!


*

Cartoons - Surprise Me

Challenge: "Surprise Me" here ya go:

Now I found out something in the research for these cartoons -- If you are going to be defying gravity: 1)  It is very hard to do, especially for a long period of time 2)  If you have a drink, it will spill, you have to hold the drink from the top -- and dribbles or condensation from the drink can potentially give you away.

So plan ahead.

!!!



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Funniest You'll Ever See

Aha! I've done it! Now I can take it easy, and draw cherry blossoms. Speaking of which, there are none around here to draw -- they have bloomed and gone. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - They Would Not

We're all broken. Or at least I am, so sometimes I'm not meshing perfectly with what is going on, and I need to be gentle with myself. I know I've never been intentionally cruel, and I will always listen and try to make up for when I am wrong -- and I can be wrong wrong wrong. How can I have humility if I don't make mistakes, and ask for forgiveness -- I don't want to cause heartache, but how do I gain insight if not through certain errors?

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Feel Great

How do those taste? Don't worry! I found lots of them.



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - You The Best

I hope you all are having a wonderful day, in any part of the world you are in. This week, I had some visitors here from Iraq, this was a first. Thank you for dropping by. One area of the globe I have had little traffic from is Africa, with the exception of South Africa, and also Egypt. Wait -- I also think I have had visitors from Morocco.

I'm also wondering about someone who could live on the line where Europe changes to Asia, and there could be a place where you could be in Europe, Asia, or Africa all at the same time. Probably not. My wondering is incoherent.

I also had a dream that I found a "Cave of Wonders". In the dream, I immediately opened it up to everyone I knew, and we had a big party. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Happy Friday Pump Jacks

This morning I had a nice bike ride, attacked the Edwards Street hill successfully, and I've been thinking about the Tunguska Event that happened over Siberia in 1908. When I get to the top of the hill, at Edwards and Ellis -- there are pump jacks. Each jack nods up and down at a different speed. You can smell something like oil or asphalt in the air -- I can't define it. I didn't know pump jacks would be set at entirely different speeds, but now it makes perfect sense. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Joke

Have you ever joked, and people wonder how you knew about something they hand't told anyone about? It happens to me all the time, and it is embarrassing. I'm a blind clairvoyant. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - They Asked

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I LIKE YOU

I saved this file titled "I like you 11 inches tall" which is bizzarre -- but it also refers to the saving of the image at 72 dpi and it being 11 inches on the vertical scale. It was blurry, when I took the picture -- then I spent some time cleaning it up -- but it is a lost cause. The liking of this someone and also the picture. But at least I can laugh at it. Onwards! CM Evans Cartoons

SISIMN: NO UNSAFE OPERATION

a.                                                                                  b.

a.) I couldn't figure out what "unsafe operation" is. The I realized it was a typo. b.) See? Much better.

SISIMN: Income Tax Signs

I've been wanting to take a picture of this sign for a few weeks now. Now all my dreams have come true. The business was not open, so I couldn't ask them how big my income tax sign could be. But I will go back later.

I imagine they could make a very large income tax sign sign, if I was willing to pay for it. Unless, they bought their income tax sign from someone else.

Cartoon - THAT IS ALL

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Eschews Me

Here is a new one. Hot off the floor -- where I draw all my cartoons these days. CM EVANS CARTOONS

SISIMN: Teriyaki for Lease

Another sign in my neighborhood. I didn't know you could rent teriyaki.

SISIMN: USA Gasoline

Signs I see in my neighborhood. USA Gasoline. Turning the United States of America into gasoline, one tank at a time.

Cartoon - Middle Age / Single

I am having a great day today. No, being 'middle aged' does not mean you are in Hell, or you are stupid. I have no idea when middle age happens. I think 'middle age' might happen right after you stop learning new things, and you think you know everything worth knowing. That will never happen to me, and most of the people who I love. So much to do, see, and be aware of. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Game On

Have a Happy 4th of July -- for all you United Staters. I always look back fondly at the 4th of July, for the time in the late 1970s, where we almost burned our neighborhood down.  But we managed to put it out before the fire department showed up. Those were the days! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - No Trust FB

Yeah yeah yeah. No trust Facebook now. But it is sorta like getting to be friends with a liar named FB who has a reputation of stealing from everyone the liar is pals with. And your friend FB steals some change from your desk drawer, eats your food when you wanted the food, locks you out of your house when it is raining, possibly takes your car for a day, pretends to be you to get your family to buy shit, and then tries to put your head in a vise and drill holes in your skull to see if it can turn you into a compliant robot human to satisfy whatever it wants. I think I got away. But Google wants to do this to me, too -- or chase me down the street with an army of gun-toting spider robots. I live in a twisted sci-fi fantasy. Sort of like a classic Start Trek. And I'm wearing a red shirt. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNABELLE

Yes -- "Happy Birthday" is referring to an event -- a persons date of being born. Not a happy persons named "Birthday". This explanation for all you out there who were confused on this widespread cultural reference -- but were afraid to ask, because you are form another planet, and you are masquerading as a human.

Happy Birthday, to my niece, and very talented artist,  Annabelle!

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Toads and Flow

I've discovered I like taking pictures of my cartoons on the floor, or on other surfaces, much better than scanning them in with the scanner. The potentiality of color and textures is right out the roof. So beware -- I'm continuing to work this way. I also remember there is a tribe in South America and I think they lick this one poisonous toad, and get high of the near death experience. Oh and look, a Wikipedia article on such behavior. But little info on Amazon tribes doing this. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - A Double (August and the Devil)

I was on a retreat and I watched this guy try to score, he was really smooth, debonair, sort of sad n' weary of the World and its tricks-- but who goes to a Dharma center to hit on young chicks? Oh, yeah, all the guys do. Except me -- I'm the silly one laying brick, washing pots, sweeping, and cleaning glass. Praying, mediating, doing endless circumambulations, full length prostrations, meditating, looking very connected with a spiritual program.  And doing whatever else might be needed to be done. And then trying to hit on chicks. CM Evans Cartoons

Mobile Mobile Mobile Pic

I found my mobile.

Cartoon - Everything

Ok --here's another one. Getting the truth out there. Using my camera as a scanner. Scanner? How old am I? What is a scanner? Old? Old people are gross. I'm 11,00 years old. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - OK Now

Hey welcome to wonderful Tuesday. How beautiful it is. I think -- well, never-mind. Just don't think, no matter what. Then when things happen, and autos smash together, or he or she shows up, and the barn burns down or someone gets mad, you have less to explain.

The curious hour-glass proportions of this cartoon is due to the camera lens I took the picture with. I sense a springy happiness to the lines with the hour-glass shape.

 CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Get Outta My Way

MR NEGATIVE: Hello, I'm a resentful, ungrateful, selfish bastard. I live in fear and self pity, and I find fault in everyone and everything. I haven't even met you, and I resent the idea of you. I am in denial of all of this, and I like the color blue, fishing for complements, and I think airplanes are neat.

MR POSITIVE: You certainly don't mean anything that you said there. You actually do have some good qualities, and you choose to underrate them. Be nice. You can be nice, if you try.

MR NEGATIVE: I --

MR POSITIVE: Ah! Shhh! Shhhhhhh!!! I got a whole bag of "Shhhhhhh!!!" with your name on it.



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Honestly

I'm also a goldfish groomer, trapeze plumber, motorcycle baker, and dance scientist. All insured, mind you. Always be insured for whatever business you are in. I also substitute teach Time Travel to AD 1899. But enough of me. Here's more about me: CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Needless Opinion Corner

Really? Hey? Shouldn't this be "Needlessly Opinionated Corner"? Do you have a ferries wheel with a piano, too? You don't? I DO. And I can play it all day long as the ferris wheel turns. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - No Desk

Yeah, I have a desk, several. I was just too lazy to clear a space off. To draw. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Monkey Meth

Here I am, in the engine room of life. Dirty. Powerful twin engines of Samsara and Nirvana in order. Good to go. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - How Can I

CM Evans Cartoons.

Cartoon - Jung Jung

I think Jung was the therapist who was happy when his client came in with everything wrong, and disaster looming, and Jung was unhappy when his patient was satisfied, and doing well. I'm trying to use the English language right now, but I can't quite write what I want to write. I'm getting ready to move and my mind is getting vapor-lock. CM Evans Cartoons