Cartoon - Loose

I dunno what I was thinking, or what I was doing. I know I was falling asleep, and I had this distinct image of a supernatural jackrabbit who haunted a tight-knit family for years -- showing up at gatherings, dinners, holidays like magic, and then disappearing when chased by the confused siblings, only to reappear at similar holidays and family gatherings again. I imagined this continued on for several generations, and that all manner of investigators and experts were called in to consult and try to exorcize the creature -- only to fail one by one. Then one day I saw the pepper-and-brown-colored big eared fella stopped being there, and the remaining people were sad that he didn't hop around on the table, spilling the yams and peas no more. What does it mean when we fall asleep with images like this? Lawnmowers made of balloons, policemen made out of papier-mâché, talking granite counter-tops, jet-powered butterflies voting for American Presidents, the list goes on. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cracks

Jim, my pal, offers me cartoon challenges from time to time. Whenever he does this, I always take him up on it, and I believe the score now is something like 5,000,634 to 5,999,777 for or against me. I am not sure. I do think I am coming out ahead, at any rate. I like to think this way. Can you tell?

Jim writes:

"Just found your other email...What happens to the things that fall through the cracks? My life seems to be a game of lost and found most days. Make me a drawing."

Well, here it is. You, too, could be included in this insanity, if you write me nice and tell me how nice things are in your neighborhood. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Draw Something Funny

I'm going about my business, and I read online that some condemned and notorious criminals from the 17th, and 18th centuries would get executed and have people make books out of their skin. In many cases, small books, for whatever reason. Some of these editions are on display in museums around the world. I guess they would be, somewhere. That kind of story and object of interest is too good to pass up, if you are running a museum. Also, potted plants really liven up a patio, if you're into that kind of stuff. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Invited

Welcome back to Friday -- we were here, most of us, last week. I had a relationship end, so last night I decided to go down to Rampage Junction. It was not too far from where I live -- I've been hearing them whoop it up there at all hours for some time. When I got there I saw that it wasn't Rampage Junction, but more like Sad Bottom Corner, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, or Lamebrain Exchange. But that ill said, it could have been me that was the lame in the entire atrocious situation: I was the fellow drinking a ginger-ale. Sometimes what I do goes beyond the pale of all expected, or acceptable expressions of what is considered civilized behavior. CM Evans Cartoons

And now the above, translated into Swahili:

Karibu tena kwa Ijumaa - tulikuwa hapa, wengi wetu, wiki iliyopita. Mimi nilikuwa na uhusiano wa mwisho, hivyo jana usiku niliamua kwenda chini Junction Rampage. Ilikuwa si ​​mbali sana kutoka ambapo mimi kuishi - nimekuwa kusikia yao whoop it up huko masaa yote kwa muda. Nilipofika huko nikaona kwamba si Rampage Junction, lakini zaidi kama Corner Sad Bottom, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, au Lamebrain Exchange. Lakini kwamba mgonjwa alisema, inaweza kuwa mimi kwamba alikuwa na kilema katika hali nzima ya mauaji: Nilikuwa kunywa wenzake tangawizi-hani. Wakati mwingine nini mimi inakwenda zaidi ya wigo wa wote ilivyotarajiwa, au kukubalika maneno ya nini ni kuchukuliwa kistaarabu tabia.

Cartoon - Free Range

Wheeldo, wheedle-dee. Wheedle wheedle, whoopo whoo. Whonk whonk, zebo bonk. Doobie-doobie-do. Alexander Calder. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Balloon Twist

Have a twist-free Monday. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Why Do They

In New York, on the spur of the moment you borrow a friend's Armani coat to go to the market two blocks down. You do not particularly care for the Armani coat. The clasps & buttons are too big and the belt-buckle is ostentatious.

Halfway to the store, by pure insane chance, you meet Giorgio Armani. A private car pulls quickly to the curb -- the recognition is unavoidable, he is too close. He notices you, wearing one of his designs & holds his arm out, preventing someone from exiting the vehicle after him.

Giorgio Armani is so close you catch a whiff of cologne, and observe the fine wrinkles in the corners of his eyes.

"Do you like my coat?" he asks you.

"Yes, I do," you lie.

Armani narrows his eyes but smiles, because he knows you are lying.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Magic Carpet

I've been reading about Magic Carpets, all about Magic Carpets. These are things we don't have enough of in the world. I think we have none of these sort of things, at all. The stories of Magic Carpets probably are talking about things on another deeper symbolic level. But I want to have a Magic Carpet to fly around on, dressed like a pirate, bombing old ladies in the supermarket parking-lot with eggs. CM Evans Cartoons

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J'ai lu sur Tapis Magique, tout sur ​​les tapis magiques. Ce sont des choses que nous n'avons pas assez de dans le monde. Je pense que nous n'en avons pas de ce genre de choses, du tout. Les histoires de tapis magiques sont probablement parler de choses sur un autre niveau symbolique plus profonde. Mais je veux avoir un tapis magique pour voler autour de, habillé comme un pirate, en bombardant les vieilles dames dans le supermarché parc de stationnement avec des oeufs. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fancy Italian

I draw a lot of stuff, birds, cars, trucks, airplanes, and flapjacks. Some folks are asking me, "What is this with all the penis gags lately?" And I say, "What are you talking about?" And they say, "You're posting pics of dicks on your website." And I say, "How can you be saying this?" And they say, "Well, you are." And I say, "No -- as a matter of fact, I am not doing such a thing. These drawings I post are mostly misunderstood. I draw a lot of stuff, birds, cars, trucks, airplanes, and flapjacks -- to prove the point, here is a picture I call 'Fancy Italian'." CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Another One

OK today is a Leap Day in a Leap Year. Here is a drawing for you to print up, and have fall out of your pocket on the bus. Or you can put the drawing in a library book and return the library book to the library. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Right Time

Think about it, people. Ignore the burned pork-chops and the broken car muffler. Put down that warm beer or that jigger of gin. Unload the gun. Pencil just don't get the respect it deserves. Don't it? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Pencil

Someone said this looks like a cartoon drawn in the Midwest, in an outhouse. I can see what they are talking about. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Big Cheese

"...If you're running low on arrows, and you are near Ben Sala & you haven't cleared out the mine directly behind the town, you can do a bit of what I call "Arrow Farming" -- go to the mine entrance, and get the skeleton archer's attention, so he starts shooting at you. Now, position yourself just a bit behind the biggest boulder at the inside of the mine entrance, just enough so the archer will keep shooting at you, but not enough to get hit with an arrow. He'll shoot at you for hours -- when you're satisfied with the amount of arrows, go pick them up. If you position yourself just right, the archer will be shooting at the edge of the boulder and the arrows will ricochet to the outside of the mine entrance where you can pick them up, then go back and continue getting shot at..."

From an Old Email
CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Try To

There was a great deal of change, evolution, and uncertainty. During these times of change, or revilement, I would look to see where we were going and familiarize myself with any new documents, wireframes, or technology that would be used next, or we were developing. When I was loaned for a time to test on the Heebie Jeebie's team, I quickly familiarized myself with their program and function and tested to specification when they needed the help. In the end, nothing mattered, but I did this anyways, because it was expected of me. During the focusing and refocusing the needs, scope, and function of the program, I never lost sight of the big picture and was motivated to continue to produce efficiently in any change or unknown. This was particularly challenging being remote and 2 time zones away from the major portions of the team, and the fact we were all looking for scapegoats to blame the whole mess on. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Stranded

Here is a new post. I can't say much about it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BIG HOLE

Hmmmmmmmmmmm................CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - AS I REACH

Hey diddle diddle. We are at Thursday, today, and the week is almost up. Have you seen any cute blondes today? There was a blonde from Moldova, rumored to be on the bridge of the Italian passenger ship that had a big hole ripped in it, but investigators just want her phone number -- they don't think she had anything to do with it. She's 25, and likes long romantic walks on the beach by the Côte d'Azur, candle-lit dinners, International travel, an apartment with a view of the Eiffel Tower, and expensive cars. She may not want to go on big shiny cruise ships with the captain in the near future. CM Evans Cartoons

Just Say NO to SOPA and PIPA

Down with censorship! Down with any kind of Internet Blacklisting! Sign the petition!

Cartoon - At Bat

Where did the time go? I've been around, had cartoons, but didn't post them. Well, I did move myself to Irvine, CA. Had to tear all the computers down and set them all back up, then unpack the kitchen, and re-shelve 500 books. No complaints. You know, most people fail to appreciate the plunger was not designed to unstop toilets and sinks. It was created for the game "Plunger", which is akin to American Baseball. The game Plunger did enjoy considerable popularity in the mid 1920s on the Eastern Seaboard, notably in Boston and New York, as an alternative to Pool, Hide-n-Seek, or Stickball. Unfortunately, the Great Depression limited Plunger's expansion to the Midwest and West Coast -- with Baseball taking up the slack. Ty Cobb, and many other Baseball legends had their start with Plunger -- the Plunger Bat now regulated to the watercloset and bathrooms around the country, historical lineage forgotten. Alas! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Calling Out

Though I don't drink anymore, Danny Coyle's is my favorite pub, located in San Francisco. I've made some friends there, and they are always happy to see me. My best buddy from high school, Erik, introduced me to this place. They'll be putting some of my cartoons up there, I think. If you're even in SF, drop on by and tell them I said "Hello". CM Evans Cartoons