Cartoon - 3D TV

On the day before April 1, we need to seriously switch gears, here's a list:

- I'll take 3-D TV if you promise me I never have to smell what I see.

- If people ever live on the surface of the Sun, ice cubes there will be fantastically expensive.

- The word "Stupid" showed up in the English language around 1540. It came from France, and what a hell of a nice word to get from French.

- You can stick your elbow in your ear. You can. Trust me. Go ahead & try.

- This fact was a nasty fact, so I have a placeholder here now. Never mind.

Now go make some stuff up and pass it off as an expert. Get ready for April 1. Don't get fooled.

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - If You Asked

I've gotten some fine fashion tips from various unnamed sources. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Gift of Automatic/ A Ajándéka Automatikus

No longer do I languish in shame, for those formerly baffling occasions when I am suddenly in the presence of my friends and loved-ones, or people expecting a sentimental gift & me being unable to comply. No -- I rip off one of these, with a series of furious flourishes, signed & dated, and the room goes still. Lack of paper or pen will not hold me back -- I've created Gift with table cloths, condiments, pepper and salt, even food, if need be. Free yourselves! Live! Or, as Google translate automatically will say:

Nicht mehr ich mich in Scham schmachten, für die früher rätselhaft Gelegenheiten, wenn ich plötzlich in der Gegenwart von meinen Freunden und Angehörigen oder Menschen erwarten eine sentimentale Geschenk & mich nicht in der Lage zu erfüllen bin. Nein - ich rip off einer von diesen, mit einer Reihe von wütenden gedeiht, signiert & datiert, und das Zimmer geht noch. Mangelnde Papier oder Stift nicht halten mich zurück - ich habe Geschenk mit Tischdecken, Gewürze, Pfeffer und Salz, auch Lebensmittel erstellt, falls erforderlich. Befreit euch!

Я уже не томятся в стыд, для тех, кто ранее озадачивает случаи, когда я вдруг в присутствии моих друзей и любимых, в них, или люди ожидали сентиментальный подарок и я, будучи не в состоянии выполнить. Нет - сорвать один из них, с серией яростных процветает, подписанное и датированное и номер идет еще. Отсутствие бумаги или перо не будет проводить меня обратно - я создал Подарок с скатерти, приправы, перец и соль, даже продукты питания, в случае необходимости. Бесплатные сами!

Hindi na ako nanghihina sa kahihiyan, para sa mga dating mahirap okasyon kapag ako bigla sa harapan ng aking mga kaibigan at mahal-bata, o tao na umaasang isang sentimental na regalo sa akin & sa pagiging hindi upang sumunod. Walang - ko rip off ang isa sa mga ito, na may isang serye ng mga galit na galit match ang nagaganap, sign & petsahan, at ang kuwarto napupunta pa rin. Kakulangan ng papel o panulat ay hindi hold ako sa likod - ko na nilikha ng Gift sa cloths table, condiments, paminta at asin, kahit na pagkain, kung kailangan. Free ang inyong sarili!

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Fabelhafte Boot

Not to spring history on you, but the Schrönhorn Museum of Footware -- what can I say? Regards this: the Fabelhafte Boot. Who knew of such interesting facts -- the people, the personalities, the adventures. Our guide, Herr Blockingstoke, persuaded us to spend an afternoon there in the winter of 1995, as part of our tour of the haunted alpine landscapes of Mt. Stampede. Though we ended up lost two days and nights at the falls, almost frozen to death, I still look back at that time with fondness. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Extreme Baking

I can follow a recipe, but I'm not the greatest cook -- but not a bad cook, either! If you needed chili made from scratch, I could do that. But I read everything, so I've read my fair share of cookbooks and cooked nothing as a result. Right now I'm reading a 1973 edition of that American culinary mainstay -- "Joy of Cooking", I'm in the "Chicken" section. I also have a few cookbooks covering subjects like Transylvanian desserts, West African snacks, real Cajun & Creole cooking, and easy to fix Venetian "siege mentality" dishes -- like Bigoli alla Veneziana. Mmmmmmm! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - WE STARTED A WAR

If a bunch of us started a war, in the spirit of fairness & teamwork, I'd want all of us to have equal credit for it. But I know someone else would get in there and say they started it, all by themselves. But they'd get their comeuppance -- when we got together in the first group again, to start another war, of course we'd cut that breakaway person out. Which goes to show -- if you're selfish, and try to take credit for what isn't all yours -- nobody wants to do things with you in the future. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Paper Towels

All I have to say about it, is people are damn messy and if you think you don't make messes, then you have no idea whose following up after you've had your fun with paper towels, gloves, and a big mop. And cleaning up after you does not make you endearing -- when you see pairs of squinted eyes and talk behind your back -- everybody knows how you fucked the room up. Have you even been to the Museum? Well, then, never mind. Thank God you haven't been to the Museum with all that fragile art, for a long time. Why don't you go outside and trace something? No, you can't have a snack. No, you can't watch TV. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Viking Pirate Novel

I tried writing a novel once -- and it was going good, but it made no sense. Boy, was I in denial. I make no sense anyways, after some time -- so if any novelist can fool me into thinking they make sense the whole lenght of a novel, they did a bang up job. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - 2500 Cat

My cat Fred is a sweet boy, no trouble whatsoever -- other than the time he stole a car and then lost the car in Mexico. And the time he cut in line at the airport, causing the TSA to shut down all of JFK in NYC for 12 hours. And the last time he performed at a comedy club in Chicago and did an impression of the "dirtiest joke ever told". And there was that harmless misunderstanding with Charlie Sheen about who bought the catnip vs who brought the bong full of screaming hash from the Green Triangle. A few other things, too, which we agreed to forgive and forget about. Fred's big red Maine Coon, and he'll fool you with his cat-ju-jitsu into feeding him as often as he'd like, if you don't pay attention. CM EVANS CARTOONS

"Let It End Like This" Brochure and Misc. Links

Here is the brochure for the apexart show, "Let It End Like This". Event listings from The Village Voice and NYC Arts, click on the hyperlinks.

CM Evans Work to be Included in "Let it End Like This" @ apexart , NYC, March 9 - May 14

apexart, a non-commercial art-space in New York City, will be putting on a show called "Let it End Like This" -- the opening will be on March 9. The show runs from March 9 to May 14. Artists like Ben Fountain, David Barringer, and Evie Wyld are featured, just to name a few. Todd Zuniga, globetrotter, buccaneer & founding editor of Opium Magazine and the Literary Death Match is the curator.

I'm happy to report a work of mine, including a cartoon, will be included in the installation. This isn't my first collaboration with the folks at apexart. In 2008 I had the fortune of being in another show at apexart, curated by Dave Eggers, titled "Lots of Things Like This".

If you're in NYC, go check it out! apexart is a great space, and they put on innovative exhibitions all year 'round.

Cartoon - Camp Built Firelog Racer

What should I write about this? As a kid, we'd go camping in the redwoods and burn our fingers when roasting marshmallows, the dog would get sick on the food that fell in the dirt, going to the bathroom in a chemical toilet was a bizarre experience, and at night you could see a million stars. After hiking all day and throwing rocks into the South Fork of the Eel River, in the evening we'd get back and build a big fire, and this is when I built my FIRE LOG RACER! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoons - HE WAS SHY

Some people think I don't bother editing my work before it goes out. You'd be surprised how much work can go into looking like you don't ever edit your cartoons before they get posted. To illustrate (forgive the pun), here is the drawing I just did:

























And here it is after I edited it:


I don't know if I should have stayed with "Frail" instead of "Shy" -- but the overall effect has been reached, I think. CM EVANS CARTOONS