Cartoon - DVD Bacon

Yes, it is a paradox. Don't interrupt the flow. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Have A Happy Thanksgiving

Turkey, big. Oven, small. Turkey, thawed? If no, you still have time to get it thawed for tomorrow, but you'll have to get up at 4 AM to make sure it is ready for the big day. I'm assuming you have a turkey, and all the fixings. Green beans, fake mashed potatoes, yams, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce, ham, pineapple, cherries, nuts, corn, hawaii bread, sourdough bread, muffins, walnuts, sherry, Mennonites, vinegar, salad, salt, pepper, squash, cucumbers, spinach, doors, windows, table, chairs, napkins, plates, silverware, beer, whistles, whiskey, buckles on your shoes, clean laundry, a smile on your face, and grace. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Fraud

It has happened --we've started the ramp-up for Christmas: here is your first celebratory cartoon of the Season. Don't get me wrong -- I love the Holidays. It is just I've been able to ignore the whole thing up to this point. All this potential giving, ritual joyfulness, drunkenness, and hilarity takes a bit getting used to. So fa la la la la, la la la lah, may you all have money jingling in your pockets and ruddy cheeks. Have fun, don't bum people out -- get the person on your list who is impossible to satisfy that *perfect gift* this year, and stay out of jail. Or at least don't get caught. If you get in a jam, remember you can solve all known problems if you wrap it in bacon. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Yodel

As you can see -- I'm cartooning again. I relocated from Chicago to Newport Beach, and when I got here I was told I needed a special permit to draw black & white gags. I had to wait two months before I was awarded one in the Quarterly Lottery Drawing of the Ordinance to Allow Select Types of Humor Here. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - TSA GRANDAD

I've heard some fools saying getting abused by the TSA ain't no big deal, and we shouldn't be such gosh durned persnickety about it. But Grandad is a good barometer for what should-be, or not-should-be, because unlike so many other folks, he does not bother anyone and he's generally completely oblivious -- unless the situation is so clearly bad or out of control, the "informed" of this world are fucking clueless. Go Grandad! CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Coming to an Airport Near You

Wishing all of you a Happy Thanksgiving, in advance. If you'll be flying to see the family this year, I'm sure you are looking forward to interfacing with the TSA. It should be a stimulating experience, and your sense of security will be aroused -- travel does bring us into contact with unusual people, places, and things. Plus getting all fluffed up by a big ugly security guard who hates the shit out of you turns some folks on. OK -- forget everything I wrote. Let's be happy. What color underwear are you wearing? If I was a TSA agent, I'd already know by now! HA!! CM EVANS CARTOONS

MOOOO

How are you? I'm on Tuesday. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Sick Bastard

HELLO MONDAY

I do lots of stuff that I don't think is wrong. And going on what happened before, I didn't think it was a big deal to remove mattress tags from my freinds mattresses. Or, I'd go over to someones house and I'd hide kernels of Captain Crunch all over their place, so three years later they'd still be finding it where they least expected it. And the cereal is still good -- it never goes bad. And better than hiding salami in hard to each places -- which I cannot believe I wrote that, how explosively Freudian. One thing everyone should have is a spoon (or fork) cemented above the sink or dishwasher. I explain this will prove to people that if you indeed wash silverware too many times, eventually the utensils will become buoyant and slowly float up to the ceiling. In all of this, my life is tolerable. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Share

I like to share.

Cartoon - NNPD

National Nose Picking Day is coming up shortly, I have been told. But to change subjects -- how many lives have you lived, previously? Lots of them, I imagine. Who do you want to be next time around? I think we all end up being this guy. Living in Chicago. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Place We Ate At Before

This has happened to me several times in New York. I don't mind it. CM Evans Cartoons

The Cartoon that Destroyed - Sexy/ Angry

This cartoon was very popular, for some reason. It set out for the land of MySpace and pillaged and burned there, quite considerably. At times, I felt like a mad scientist who had intentionally created a 60 story monster, and set it loose against a weak, innocent, wicked metropolis that deserved to be annihilated. Funny how things spiral out into the internets, and the lives they live. On a side note, I hear tell there is an improved duct tape that leaves no messy residue. Perfect for microwaving sausage. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Mysterious Smell

Hello to L O M B R A S, it is good to see you. Well, now I know where that mysterious smell is coming from. But I still don't know where that mysterious smell comes from. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - WOTW

I have interesting conversations with people. I met a homeless guy this morning at Main Beach Park in Laguna Beach, who told me about the psychic vibrating qualities of the color blue and purple, and then he gave me a detailed account of Julio Gallo, the Northern California winemaker, and how the French dictator Napoleon shoehorned aliens into soldiers bodies for the battle of Waterloo. On this last point, the aliens were very powerful, combined in batches of 8, from three worlds stacked directly above us. He assured me ceratin unnamed scientists working for the Air Force in charge of bootlegging extra pure moonshine, have established all of the above. I came home and cleaned the sand out of the apartment, and I made food for people who wanted food. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Up to No Good

I like this cartoon. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Over-Stimulated

Other than being over-stimulated, I've become so much more relaxed. No more meeting total strangers at a hotel bar, having a drink with them, driving to the airport, getting into a private plane, flying to the border, landing on the road of a private gated community, breaking into the clubhouse, stealing booze from the bar, playing pool until 4 AM, jumping back into the plane when the cops arrive, flyng back to the airport, and getting a cab ride home by 7 AM. Oh, I almost forgot -- on the flight back, holding our beers, the pilot says "OK -- when I tell you to let go of your beers, let go of your beers!" And then he puts the plane into a steep dive several times this way, so you can see how zero gravity makes your beer hang in the air in front of your face. Also, welcome to SRIDHAR. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - The Longest Story

Cartoon - Giant Paper Snowflakes

Welcome to our new visitor, superazione. Thanks for your interest; now for giant snowflakes. With scissors this big, I figure it has gotta be almost impossible to pull your hands away if things go wrong. But how many giant paper snowflakes have you seen? Not many, I tell you. There needs to be more of these things in the world. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Kung Fu'ed

This happens to me all the damn time. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Eat It

Oh dear. I need to get a new scanner, so I don't belabor all of us with cartoons from the past. CM Evans Cartoons