Cartoon - Only the Lonely

He reads: Ya gotta act like a winner, if you want to be a winner! That is what this helpful book tells him. An damn it, he thinks, I am winner. Winner, I am! I'm cooler than sliced bread! Stronger than John Henry! Bigger than King Kong! Taller than the Eiffel Tower! Faster than greased lightening! Meaner than that kid who beat me up in Church! More inscrutable (and mysterious), than Winston Churchill! Grander than the Grand Canyon! More mousy than a mouse!! Mouse? More a dragon than a mouse! He drinks a big swig from the whiskey bottle. Shivers. Makes him strong as the awful whole shit goes down. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bake Bake

At 6.30 AM I had that damn song in my head, the cake song -- and I don't even know precisely how it is supposed to be sung -- and I also had Ray Charles, singing 'America the Beautiful', alternating with the first song. And then I had some Pink Floyd come on by, but I heard it adapted to a psychedelic pipe-organ w/ lots of reverb, followed by random classic rock from the 1980s, in staccato 2 second alternating bursts... I'm telling you -- I'm a damn conceptual design. Come on by, and I'll bake you a cake. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Busy busy

Many of us would like to enjoy a fine night out on the town, make new friends, and influence people. But where to go? How to appear to be civilized? Should a handy prop be carried, for a good pickup line? I love your dress; Can you guess how many jellybeans I have in this jar? No? Yes? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - One Arm Joe

I wish you all a happy Tuesday. I can also add this: I totally respect each and every one of you, as a person, and definitely not as a thing, or any kind of object. Let us celebrate with 'One Arm Joe'. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Crack

What I don't show in this gag, 15 seconds later the crack I was standing on shot out scalding sheets of steam, and then opened up horizontally by about 500 yards either direction, dropping me into a pool of molten lava. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - What is Behind the Dur? I mean, Door...

Hi, all you wonderful people! Thank you for dropping by to look at my work. I am happy to see some visitors from Egypt. I don't get a lot of traffic from Africa, and I've been pestering many countries in Africa, including Egypt, to come and visit my site here. Another appreciation to Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia, for the traffic. There are a number of cartoonists from Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia that I admire greatly. I hope you all have a wonderful week, more cartoons will be going up later. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cloud

I think some technological trends are awesome. Computers you can't fix. Why would you want to fix your computer? RAM you can't upgrade. Batteries you can't swap out. Why would you want to do this? Data you can store on the Cloud. That's gotta be the best thing of all. Where is the Cloud? Gee whiz -- it is everywhere! It is safe and secure and distributed over oodles of data centers all over the fricken place. The Cloud is so scattered -- to think you'll ever lose your data, man, you'd have to be crazy to think that. Why anyone would insist on having their own programs that can't be yanked at a keystroke, on their own repairable computer, with their own data concentrated on their own physical hard drive, under their lock and key -- man -- that is soooo PC antique computer vision. I mean, what could go wrong with the Cloud? Oh -- I see a big section of it did crash. Just the other day. No worries -- they got it working again. Yeah. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Click OK

Here's another one for you, don't fight it, you'll probably take down the whole Internet. Just click OK. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Note to Despot

How are you today? I'm here to help -- so just in case you might be on the verge of overthrowing your government, I have a handy list here for you -- notice the first thing is to "Wake Up" -- unfortunately, many strongmen, despots, or dictators don't do this, eventually. Unless they make it to Switzerland, Monaco, or Salinas. It is a damn strange thing to go into a taco shop in Monaco, and the former dictator of Country X is now making carne asada burritos. But they do say, you'll probably have at least 6 careers during your lifetime. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bruce Slice

When I was in college, on weekends I was the security guard at Chinese Hospital, in Chinatown, SF. I guarded the building where Bruce Lee was born. I did a good job -- nobody ever broke in. I think the rule around here is, on Thursday, I have to post a cartoon about Bruce Lee. I mean, it makes sense to me. I was missing something, I had this gap in my gut, and then I sat down and drew me a Bruce Lee cartoon -- where he can karate-chop anything -- and in his spare time he did -- and all is right in the world. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Planning a Trip to China

Nowadays it seems, if you don't go the China, China will come to you. And when that day comes, you'll find there's a shoe on the other foot, made in India. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Monday BM

I'm a man of few words, nowadays. But let me tell you about BM, or, Blasphemer Mouse. He's the little guy in the mouse-hole that you can't see, but he talks a lot. BM invented himself, many years ago, in the margins of my sketchbooks. You've seen him around here, from time-to-time. You'll see more of him later. No Justin Beibers / Biebers/ Bibbers/ Slbblers were harmed in any way whatsoever, in the construction of the blog post. CM Evans Cartoons

** Update: After returning to this cartoon today, a day later, I must say -- that is one ugly green gradient!  But it is so ugly, I'm keeping it. It clashes so nicely with the grey gradient on the inside of the frame, don't you think? We don't always have to create beautiful, harmonious things. Consider plaid. Or pinatas?

Cartoon - On de Road

Anyways, I thought I would be helpful. Sorry about the stains. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Blessed

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? How much coal would he be able to chuck? How many wet phone books? How many peas? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Great Wall

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound? If a jumbo-jet is flying and you are on it, asleep in first-class, is it still flying? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrrows

Will we ever truly understand the underlying reasons for the numerical allocation of the Dewy Decimal System? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Yer Art

Can the pigeon drive the bus? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Breaking Heart

Ouch. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Google

I've been reading a book on Stalingrad, and look what happens. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Novels

     "A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. The genre has historical roots both in the fields of the medieval and early modern romance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter supplied the present generic term in the late 18th century."

    Novel, Wikipedia

Don't be shy, sit down and write me 50,000 words. Go ahead -- it can be on anything, Feel free to take the manuscript pages during the writing, scatter them on the floor at random, and then reassemble them as if written in conscious order. You may wish to be drunk or high on mind-altering drugs/ on the phone while you are doing this, provided you don't get lost in your mind, because I need you to write me 50,000 words on anything you'd like to write about. I'll provide encouragement and some illustrations.

CM Evans Cartoons