Cartoon - Chopsticks

The biggest chopsticks in the world. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Sci Fi

Weee ooo eee oooo. KRRRRANK! Bzzz zzz z zzzz ZZZ zzz zz ZZZZZZ. Eoooeoeoeoeoe eoeoeo eoeoe oeoeooe oeoe eoeoe Weee ooo Wee oooo. BRZZRRRKK! KRRRRAK!! Meep meep meep meep GRZZZRRRRAAAKKK! RRRKKRR!! GGRRRK! Boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. SCHWINGE!!! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - BIRDHOUSE MADNESS

I keep sending this cartoon once a year to the New Yorker, because I can't resist sending this cartoon every year to the New Yorker, go figure. I think some of my work would be hilarious in the New Yorker, but I think I'd have to kill someone or make a pact with the Devil to get into that publication. Still, once a year I send some new stuff off (with BIRDHOUSE MADNESS), and I always get a very polite tight rejection slip. But look at the cartoon! CAN YOU FEEL IT? BIRDHOUSE MADNESS!!!! BIRDHOUSE MADNESS!!!!! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Conceptual Art

I studied & majored in Conceptual Design at San Francisco State University. I know what I'm talking about here. Ah, but I am not famous. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Busted Hoopie & Bagpipe Bagpipe

Hellllloooo there, how ya been? Hey, I updated the cartoon website with Bagpipe Bagpipe. I also updated it with the Busted for Hooptie one last week, but I forgot to load it up here. Sorry, I got distracted. The Bagpipe Bagpipe cartoon goes out to Londoner/ Canadian/ American Jason Loadsman of The Urban Voodoo Machine -- I got to meet him and a bunch of my wife's classmates at June's 20th high school reunion. We stayed up all night drinking in the vast Hilton Presidential Suite. Jason takes the F*** cake -- the music will burn your eyebrows off. Cheers! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Tree Purist

I don't mean to be uppity, but if you're gonna live in a tree, how can you burden it with a tree house? Argh! No! Help! That just ain't right, ethically, people. Think about it before you go and do it, fer God's sake. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Heroic Pose

Heroic Pose. We all have to do what we have to do to keep life fresh and even sassy. Mmmm! Don't ever let them trample your dreams. CM Evans Standing Tall on a Cliff with a Cape and Hoisting a Large Paper Mache Boulder Over his head Cartoons

Cartoon - I Have No Idea

JOURNAL ENTRY
AUGUST 7, 2007
SOMEWHERE IN A BOTTLE

"Truly, I have no idea how I ended up in this bottle. No, I have not been mysteriously shrunk, as far as I can tell. I did have a great time last night, but I also avoided a shattering hang over by fortifying my stomach with lots of sushi. As far as I can tell, on the horizon, there is a sort of milky haze or tule fog that gently undulates. I cannot tell if it is coming closer or receding. The sun, while bright overheard, is also indistinct. This all could be a dream. If it is a dream, I wish I had a giant bottle opener. I do have to say, it is boring being clamped in a giant bottle.

REGARDS
CM EVANS"

Cartoon Redux - Consolation Prize

The top one of this 2 fer makes me laugh every time I see it. Definitely worthy of a Cartoon Redux. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Air Surfing

Been gone for a few updates...after months and months of planning (and checking off every item on a 1,000 point list) we moved from San Diego to Chicago, and even spent some time in Breckenridge, Colorado. I'm bushed. But who can't resist some air surfing? Let's rip those phantom waves. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Sproingy

Boing boing boing...SPROING!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaa aa aaa a a aaaaaaaa a a a a aaaaaaa aaa a a a a aaaaaaa a a a a aaaaaaaaaaah! SPROING!! AAA AAAA Aaaaa aaaaa aa a a aaa a a a aaaaaa a a a aaaaaaaaaaaa...SPROING!! AAA AAAA Aaaaa aaaaa aa a a aaa a a...SPROING!!! Boing boing boing. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Error Message

This one always makes me laugh. Hit the random button on my website and see what you get. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - My Precarious Neighbor

Here is the latest update -- to the blog and not the website, because I can't remember the password to the website and I had to reset my cache for my browser, so la la la. Waiting to hear back from my host for the password to update the website. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - My Haunted Bathroom

I never had a haunted bathroom, but I did know someone who had a haunted room. Specifically, the wallpaper in the room was haunted. How we determined the wallpaper was haunted, I can't fully explain, but it was so. In my time I have encountered other haunted objects, like an unabridged dictionary, a painting, and a stuffed toy doll. But back to the story: before my friend moved into this house, on Valencia Street in San Francisco, the previous roommate who lived in that room would not sleep in the room at night. This roommate would sleep in the bathroom, on one of the marble counter tops that was just big enough for her to curl up on. Due to the flat having one bathroom, the other people in the household got used to this, and would use the bathroom discreetly at night. I had a few interesting dreams while sleeping in the room with haunted wallpaper. In one dream, I imagined that there was a space in the ceiling immediately above my head, like a hollowed out bubble, about the size of a volleyball. In this space, I saw there was a miniature skeleton, like that of a baby, it was wearing a sombrero. It's bones were a ghastly nicotine yellow color, and when it realized I could see it, the skeleton grinned at me and manically danced, pumping its knees up and down like pistons and jiggling it's elbows in that cramped bubble in the ceiling. This was comical and terrifying at the same time, mostly terrifying while it was happening. I yelled and woke up. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Name the Other Sixty Ways

Not really a cartoon, more a list. Okay, what next? I've been away for a few cycles...I was in Chicago & Oak Park IL on business and getting ready for the move. Soon, after July, we will no longer be residing in sunny, lovely, monotonous San Diego. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Smoke Bunnies

I posted "Smoke Bunnies" on my writing blog giganticjet last week, but you know, I like the picture so much I'm putting it up on the old cartoon website as well. I also wanted to wish you all a happy summer solstice, longest day of the year. Go blow a few smoke bunnies for me, ya smokers out there, I quit about three years ago. Cheers! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bunch O Sketches

Added a slew of sketches to the website today, from a clutch of 'em that I uncovered while I was working on my third book, CM BERGOMONT'S POETRY JAMBOREE. I have about 20 sketches in the back of the collection. I have this crazy urge to make another collection of short stories, but I promised myself I'd hold off till we relocate, and then do the book of cartoons. Honestly, feel free to buy any of the books, poetry or short story collections. I've gotten lots of positive feedback, and my neighbor Doc Gilbertson even likes the collections, even though they are full of profanity. CM Evans Cartoons

BM - If We All Suck

Cartoon 907. Many times I have had discussions like this at all sorts of companies and occupations I have participated in. Of course, this is the unvarnished gist of the endless meetings. plans & schemes we came up with. Sometimes when I write using the English language I have no idea what I am saying, the more I try to say it. I also watched Braveheart last night. I now realize hearing & watching Mel Gibson the Australian talk like a Medieval Scottish rebel would be like hearing & watching William Shatner the American sing Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen in flawless German. And Gibson won 5 Academy Awards for Braveheart. CM Evans Cartoons

BM - Pommes Frites

Everybody knows when the pommes frites run out, then the art opening is done. Wine and pommes frites. Mmmmm...POMMES FRITES. Wine & pommes frites....the two basic food groups. CM Evans Cartoons

BM - If a Picture

ON A TANGENT, realizing now how the Universe works, if I got sentenced to jail for drunk driving and repeatedly violating the conditions of my probation, unlike Paris Hilton, a few things for me would be different: a. I am sure I'd draw more than 45 days in lockup b. I am sure I would be required to do all the time c. If I cried or didn't like the food, they'd keep me in jail the whole time anyways. There, I just had to say that. Otherwise, I'd just show you a picture, to save time. CM Evans Cartoons