Cartoon - Barhars Guffs

HAPPY TUESDAY

Cartoon - Things Are in Reasonably Good Shape

: - )

Cartoon - Macaron

Cartoon - Do You Like Pasta?

Cartoon - IN SURVIVAL MODE

Cartoon - Saying "No"

Cartoon - Big

Cartoon - Why Not

Cartoon: I Heard

I got this one from Barack Obama -- who auto-tweets every hour or so. He wrote if sea levels rise 1 foot, it will cost us 200 billion dollars. I wonder how much it would cost us if the seal level fell 1 foot? I'm guessing about 200 billion dollars. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Notions

I know why I do what I do. Do you know why you do what you do?

Cartoon: The Internet of Things

I'm making a lot of cartoons for the year 2099, because in 2099 I'll be too busy to be making cartoons with my new robotic body, in my new career as an intrepid backward-time traveling assassin.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Feeling Free

I think it is incredible that people assume a concept of a 'higher power' is potentially knowable, like the instructions on a box of pasta -- which they don't understand -- and they couldn't cook, either. I'm more agnostic as I go along here in the sideshow of life. I think being increasingly agnostic gives me more faith, and I believe in something even more because of it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BM Liar Liar Liar

I posted a few cartoons over at Medium, and I forgot to update them here. 

I do hope you have a great day.

I'll be cartooning here for the next 45 years.

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - If I Can

CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - A Rise by Any Other Name

Politics parades people -- an oppressive planetary ideology believes in atheism or religion. People naturally strain above Politics and hesitate outside intolerance. Underneath Politics yawns the family. They always have yawned at this -- in a way it isn't real if all is on order and we accept responsibility of being good neighbors. Time reverts in Age and kids act outside the sunny equilibrium we wish to imagine. A pit chases every ripped attribute: why do we let a petty irritation turn into a curse that will hum into the reckless cyclone of activity? When can Age keep us from being merely a parrot of our own biases? CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - I Have a Hard Time

Sometimes I wish I knew you well. But then again, it is okay we don't know each other, because last time I got to know you, you ate all my food and threw up on the furniture.

My mind is like a weather-vane. Or is it my ego that is the cute rooster with an arrow that thoughts blow around in circles? I had a dream you were coming back, but I get pointed in the wrong direction all the time. What torture.

In any case, benevolently I am sure I provide lots of laughs for higher multidimensional super-intelligent beings eons beyond my primitive level of technology. And with that a possibility, what could go wrong, or how could anything be intolerable?


CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Social Lackey

When can an extremist seat a logical instinct? An arithmetic digs a trade wisdom an enemy invokes a doubt beside a loud struggle. The boiling pressure multiplies the tragedy into the inheriting autumn. The pacifier dusts a student. Can a resemblance mutter?

The backspace pants! The stirring winter listens. The digest dips the semantic radical. A going sentient counts before the waving sexist -- does the front mailbox riot behind the pub?

How does the trailing clique punt near a glue?

Cartoon - Mixing

I was dreaming of something or other before I woke up. I can't remember what it was. It probably was bad. I still want to build my tiny hotel, where all the rooms are smaller than normal, to make people feel huge. All I have to do is find the right partner for it, and we'll break ground. Whenever I feel blue, the idea of running a tiny hotel helps me make it through. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Your Ego is a Joke

Be that as it may, we cannot get any more bee bark or crumbled chrome. The taskers have gone out and will not be returning for 5 Gompopo -- and this means being well and remembering who brought us here. And this was by no rocket-Christ, or supernatural bunny that made all possible. "Trace the lines of power cables to the source and verify they are plugged in...", as Electric Grandpas said with their glowing halos. What more do you want? You have tape, it is sticky. Or as the Boogaloo said once, "Boogaloo! Boogaloo! Boogaloo!"


 CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - But Mick Jagger Thinks You're OK

People can call up cruise missiles when they are in trouble. Do you think they call it "Dial a Missile"? Hopefully the number is toll-free and easy to memorize. Probably won't want to have the number laying around on your window-sill or in your wallet. What would social-media or the sharing economy say about this?  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - In Love with You

after reading a few poems by
john wieners

our life is funny and a bit crazy
like a record (three little pigs)
being played in another room
on the wrong setting, too fast
which in fact is happening right now
& makes me laugh

Cartoon - Sorry What

Rode my bike, and I'll ride it some more tonight. Just shy of a 30 mile day. What were you saying? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - A Long Distance - or - "International National Take off Your Pants Day"

I do have something great to say -- today is "International National Take off Your Pants Day"! So get out there and take off your pants, and be proud of being pantless in whatever nation you live in! And remember -- you never will get what you want 100% of the time, wearing pants! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon: I Started to Understand

Happy Friday to you all! I was in LA last night, going back they decided to shut the 405 freeway down at 2 AM, when I  was about 20 miles from home. I was dumped in Los Alamitos or Cypress, I really don't know where exactly. I noticed there were a huge amount of cops out driving around, and a fair amount of drunks evading them. It was like a car ballet, and I was the idiot lost in the shuffle, past bars, headshops, gas stations, cemeteries, and fast food joints in the night. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - 99.9

Hello. I've heard that if you live long enough, this comes true. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Flashing

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Cartoon - Disturbing

Some disturbing news I hear about, read about -- I try avoiding looking at the news. On our way to a new orthodoxy. I would rather have a poem.

when the wind picks up
and i am alone on the way back

my eyes remind me
in what i see of a mustang horse

a running horse in the sky
that can bring my love back to me


**

Cartoon - Dirty Spying / Spying Dirty

I'm not sure if this is an attempt at irony, or just something provokingly childish and silly. I was thinking if it is true that the Internet has been bastardized into a just a big platform to hoover up information indiscriminately, and if there is a durable backup in a laser crystal (or passive diamond) matrix, there could be a chance this is being published in the future, via human or alien archaeologists. And why not? That is, if the cache of information survives the next war, which will wipe out most of life on Earth, at the hands of some kind of Skynet. But let us not put 16 to 17 horses in front of 23 - 35 carts. Happy new year! 2015 will be grand, or at least unforgettable. May you live in interesting times! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - On Demand

Hello. You might not know this, but you will have a sentimental feeling when you hear -- "Deck the halls and let's be jolly, deck the halls with boughs of holy!" Or you may be lonely and diffused and wonder where you ended up. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - I Want

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Cartoon - Blame

Ho ho ho ho! CM Evans Cartoons

Picture - Social Media

My input. Social Media heightens our intelligence.

Cartoon - If I Am

CM Evans Cartoons. Where, on Christmas morning, the sunlight of the spirit overcomes the darkness of the superego.

Cartoon - Ho Ho Hoh Pants

CM Evans Cartoons. Where, on Christmas morning, the hammer of love falls heavily on the anvil of desire.

Cartoon - Angry Phase Angry Phase

TODO:

Calculate remaining Xmas shopping

Return netflix DVDs I've had for 2 years

Get mail

Be resentful


CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Big Red Wow

Here was the biggest filter collision I had. I have no idea where the red / back contrast came from. If filters in Photoshop were always this unpredictable, I'd have started using them all the time for years. Oh -- I have been using them all the time for years. Never-mind.





CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I LIVE IN A WORLD

This cartoon happened as well, today. I've been taking careful notes. I've been sitting here and there, listening. I have no idea why I listened to you. Then you said something funny.

Well, you said a few things that were not funny, but then I took your words out of context, spliced them together, and now you are funny.

The cartoon was funny, then I took it into Photoshop, and it violently collided with a filter. Then it became art. Now I'm worn out.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - And For Me

I prefer my work to speak for itself. Or if it could write, it would write for itself. I guess it would have to do this telepathically, because the cartoon has no arms. I've gotten ahold of some filters in Photoshop and some unpredictable things happened. More of these to follow. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Is That Bad?

I may try to break my posting record of more than 126 cartoons this year. I have about 200 here I am looking at right now. Trouble is I've been cartooning on things like rocks, mud, birds, old wood shingles, and rotten drywall. Try scanning or taking pictures of things like that. Not archival at all. Here is something I can scan that I drew this morning while I was riding my bicycle on the top of a skyscraper. CM EVANS CARTOONS

Throwback - Hilariously Crossed

Here is a cartoon from the past. I have enough cartoons, published, or otherwise, to make huge paper mache figures bigger than a balloon in a Macy's Thanksgiving Parade. I have probably 10,000 cartoons. Ok -- I have more than 5,000.

I could make a deadly trap out of all the gags I have drawn. Like the Roman emperor -- was it Nero? He killed his dinner guest with a smothering rain of rose petals.

I could do this with all my drawings. Good thing I ain't an emperor. Or a Pope.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Dumbass

I wish I had something more to write about this -- meaningful things at least. Do you like the multi-colored towel I used as a background? I almost threw this cartoon away, but portrays such a lifestyle, so unlike my own present circumstances, or how I ever was to start with, that I simply had to keep it. My favorite thing to do right now is to ride my bike every morning for about 15 miles, and I have this LED light up skull that I watch cycle through different colors. That is just about it. My social life. I hear from some other people, my life is actually fairly spicy -- I even go to the mall occasionally and read a book sitting on a couch like the mall is my living room, just to be around other people. We're all lonely, mostly -- but pretend we are not. You'll never see me looking like I don't have somewhere to go, or people to meet.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Mind Control

Weeble skeeble, zeeble, meeble - or - the ____________ was going great, it was almost done in record time, when he questioned why it could ever be done right with the concept of it being done in "record time". False, untrue, fuckup -- Zen corpse, shit bag. So he stopped writing and turned the heater on, because he was tired of being thrifty and not running the heater. Shit bag.

a) Poetry book
b) Travelogue
c) Memoir
d) Bodice Ripper


-------

Hot Stove
Irvine

CM Evans Cartoons

10.27.14: News: William Barker interview and gallery on Marguerite Avenue: SCHWA

Exciting news! I have an interview on my web magazine "Marguerite Avenue", featuring William Barker -- creator of "Schwa". Also featured -- a gallery of his work. Just posted. Check it out.

This was a fun interview to do, because Bills work completely influenced me.  Schwa came out of the 1990s and the 'zine' movement -- it was at the top of the best series of work that came out then.

Cryptic, funny, sometimes menacing -- after a long hiatus, I'm glad that Bill is working on Schwa again.

Here is a link to WB on Facebook. And his online store.

http://margueriteavenue.weebly.com/

Cartoon - 7 and 7 and 7

The main thing, is I want to be helpful, and get you the facts. Just the facts. Like in this cartoon. There's a lot more to it than you would think, as you can see. Disney just shaved off a lot. I'm attempting, in my small way, to keep history from being lost.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Hope

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, wherever you are in the world. And I am deeply in love with every one of you. Thanks for being so beautiful. CM Evans Cartoons


P.S.

Feel free to see my work over at Medium.com -- and recommend / forward it to your friends!

News: CM Evans Cartoons over at Medium.com

I started posting cartoons at Medium.com, a cool place that I don't totally understand. If you want to visit -- here is my first post. Recommend it to your friends!


*

Cartoons - Surprise Me

Challenge: "Surprise Me" here ya go:

Now I found out something in the research for these cartoons -- If you are going to be defying gravity: 1)  It is very hard to do, especially for a long period of time 2)  If you have a drink, it will spill, you have to hold the drink from the top -- and dribbles or condensation from the drink can potentially give you away.

So plan ahead.

!!!



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Funniest You'll Ever See

Aha! I've done it! Now I can take it easy, and draw cherry blossoms. Speaking of which, there are none around here to draw -- they have bloomed and gone. CM Evans Cartoons