Cartoon - Before X Happens

I held out for as long as I could -- but I've always lost it way before people thought I should have lost it. CM Evans Cartoons

ShiShi for a Friend

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*****

 

 

 

 

Here ya go.

 

CM

 

 

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Cartoon - Normals

It has been a lovely ride -- and amazing ride over these four years and one day. I've repaired my relationship with my family, I'm slowly learning more about who I really am, my limitations, and what I really am capable of -- which is more than I ever imagined. Thanks to you all, for being a part of it. I don't believe in normality, by the way -- I think deep down, fundamentally, we are all unique. That makes Normal a myth. It also means we're all these fabulous self-contained universes reacting to one another. I find this to be the best part of life. Learning from others, and loving them the way they are. CM Evans Cartoons

2014: A year of Shishi -- Chinese Lion-Dogs -- March 22 and 23

More ShiShi -- 'Good luck Chinese-Lion Dog' for today.. and yesterday..

Cartoon - Don't Believe Everything

Here it is -- a cartoon and how I edit it. I know some of you would be interested. The cartoon below -- as I was drawing it, I realized I wanted to change the wording. I was going to scan it, so the extract words go below the drawing.

Changed out two words, cleaned it up.

Might be funnier, or not. I think it makes better sense, though I am barely makings sense with this cartoon. Well, I can fix that by drawing 10,000 more.

CM Evans Cartoons

2014: A year of Shishi -- Chinese Lion-Dogs -- 3.21.2014

3. 21. 2014

Here is the dog that showed up today -- drawn at a meeting I was at, on a paper towel. These Shishi are veeery interesting -- they scan ok -- but interesting things happen when I try to save them to the hard-drive, or upload them to Facebook, or here. There is a certain amount of resistance! Must be a powerful symbol. Very potent symbol.

My good fortune from this, is your good fortune. Any errors, are due to my fault, and my fault only.

: - )

CM

Cartoon - If You're Spring, I Guess You're Coming In

Oh yeah -- happy first day of spring. Now get out there and paint a fence or help an old lady across the street. CM Evans Cartoons

FREE POETRY THURSDAY

TONIGHT! "Free Poetry Thursday" in Laguna Beach at A.I.R. Gallery

658 South Pacific Coast Highway -- between Cleo & Legion.

5.30 to 8.30 PM.

Come by and get a little paper boat with a poem in it. Happens every Thursday!

2014: A year of Shishi -- Chinese Lion-Dogs

I was reading a book on Katsushika Hokusai -- one of Japan's most famous artists -- he was renown for the block print. He's probably one of the finest block-printers in the history of art. Even if you don't think you know him, you know him, because his images have been endlessly reproduced. I read starting in 1842 he drew shishi -- Chinese Lion-Dogs  -- one for each day, for a year. Because I have a ceramic shishi -- I decided to do the same. I started on 3.11.14. I'm not feeling unlucky, but why not increase the luck and see what it brings me? Then I can share my good luck with you!

Cartoon - Regional Conflict

Don't laugh -- please. Do you know how hard it is to get a good insurance policy for your armored personnel carriers and light vehicles with comprehensive road assistance and routine maintenance, when you're trying to mobilize them for a regional conflict? I mean, if you lose your coverage at that point, you might as well go cry -- because it will either be prohibitively expensive to replace the same coverage you had before, or you'll only get it through some third-rate insurance exchange that has lousy customer support. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Never Nevermind

I was watching Colombo -- or someone else was watching Colombo in the other room. Then I thought of that line from "Princess' Bride" -- never start a land war in Asia. But of curse, this was reportedly mentioned General Douglas MacArthur to President John F. Kennedy, in 1961.

I figure it does not count if you are from Asia, because lots of people start wars there, and win them all the time.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Thanks You / Do Feel Better

I was going
to post a poem
that was witty
and had
something observant
to say about communication

But I couldn't find
the right poem I had written
in the past

Here is the cartoon -- I
drew it in baby-blue ink,
but then I set it to
grayscale

I might repost as
grayscale

I like color

CM Evans Cartoons


PS

And for anyone
who has been feeling blue

I do hope you feel
better

Cartoon - TANK ON TANK!!!

It was going to ROCK!!! TANK verses TANK!! NO RULES!!! TANK THROWDOWN!!! GET IN YOUR TANK AND FIGHT!!! Then we're on a giant golf course I guess. Tank one falls into Hole #14. Handicap/ Par 2/4. "Left-center of the fairway is the ideal tee shot to avoid the trees guarding the approach from the right." From the giant brochure we found nearby that we though was a house. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BM 2 fer Monday

I have these colored pens, and I draw with them, but other people around here draw with the pens too -- and so what happens is I start a cartoon, and the pen runs out. Undeterred, I keep drawing the cartoon with a totally different color, and I imagine if anyone studies my artwork when I'm dead, they'll think I changed colors because of some deeply symbolic meaning. What I mean is, you're too kind to come by and look at my work, and I love you.

CM Evans Cartoons

Have a nice day.

Cartoon - In Love with the World

Oh here we go World -- the minute I've sworn to resolving to harden my heart and never love you again -- then you sneak up on me, with all the happiness and love I can see in you, and I'm in love with you more than ever. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Hitting the Motherlode

I was going to draw something else -- but then this showed up somehow. I have no idea why.

I was more trying to coming up with a cartoon, on how birds are actually people. I told my son, who is seven now, that birds don't come from eggs. I explained most birds are people who lied too much. I told my son every time you lie, you get smaller by just a little bit -- it is hardly noticeable. And as you get smaller, your skin starts to become more feathery. You continue to tell fibs, you keep shrinking and getting more and more feathery, and then one day you are a bird!

My son smiled kindly, didn't believe me -- even for one second. You see, I also told him once that keyfobs come from key-trees. I said the keyfobs grow like leaves on the key-tree, and when they are ripe the break off in pairs and fly fly fly to the keystore to be sold as key-fobs.

Oh well. Let me know when you strike it rich.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - God Parking

It is a bit embarrassing. You get ticketed by emanations from your own creation. A demonstration of the concept of 'free will', I guess. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - It Is My

I hope you are having a swell day, in whatever part of the world you are from. Try this one out. I think it is always worth trying to change one's self, because if I change then everyone around me can reap that benefit, and they didn't have to do anything. We're talking positive change here. The more positive changes in you, the more people come into your life. I know this is obvious to many of you, but I thought I'd mention it to those who were wondering if the good is stronger than the bad. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - AprilValen's Day

Of course, then I go back for the throat, or a give it a swift kick to the balls. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Valentines Day / Bring It

Then there are those times when I try to be nice, and I try extra hard, but I end up not being nice. Because I wasn't really being so reasonable before.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - 2. 14. 14

OK -- I go for contrast, or perspective here. Trying to make it to the other side. Some people can enjoy a holiday, without other people going in and bombing it to smithereens.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Valentines Day

Sometimes I cartoon exactly what I'm thinking. People tend to be less honest nowadays, with all the blogging, texting and chatting we do -- I think it is because we want to appear to be nice.

**

I also love the entire country of Portugal. And every person there who looks at my cartoons.

Happy Valentine's Day to you. : -)



CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Why I

When I can't figure things out, I draw charts. Here is a new chart that could come in handy for any number of occasions -- at work, at home, wherever. Enjoy. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Hardly

I'm reading more short stories by HP Lovecraft. It's been a few years -- I found a few of his books in my library that I now can shelve because I have shelves. Then I was reading the stories more carefully, and I realized that I'm not reading a book by HP Lovecraft -- it is actually a collection of stories by Frank Belknap Long -- one of a few notable writers in the circle of 'Weird Tales', with Lovecraft. LOL. It has been some time since I read Frank Belknap Long and mistook him of HP Lovecraft. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Unspeakable Evil

I can hardly comprehend the horrifying significance of this cartoon. Nor can I fully grasp its harrowing connotations -- or the shattering monstrosities in what it implies. My consciousness fades before it, my limited views have been demolished. That and I've been watching all the Star Trek movies, one by one, in sequential order. And for each movie -- the budget for the film gets larger.

Oh, no -- I looked on the internets -- it is not true. Did you know the first Star Trek cost 35 million to make and the second one, cost 12 million? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Nano Nano

See, the thing is, I customized my news feeds with Google News, and I have, apparently, the "uber nerd science discovery" updates now. I mean, Google calls it "Breaking News in Science and Technology" And I've been enjoying the thumping boffin nerd-scientist breaking news immensely. I make jokes now on emerging scientific phenomenon, technology, and techniques I have no understanding of.

Hey -- lots of people do all the time -- right? :- )

Also -- I've learned that dogs pee aligned to magnetic fields, you can make micro-bots fly like jelly-fish, all our water on Earth came from outer-space, there are icebergs made of diamonds on Neptune, and bees are picky pollinators.

What will scientists and researchers discover tomorrow? I can't wait! I'm hoping they discover water in micro-gravity enhances the senses in REM sleep, bacon has a unique baconian element they decide to call B! in the periodic table, and all lost socks end up in parallel universes by sock-worm holes that only work for dirty single socks.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Protein Theft

Lh huhu hi ih I hihuhiuh ih ui iu u hihiuhiu I iu hi, hihuhihiuuh iu hiuh iuhi ih uiuh uiuh uu hiuhuh hi u hiuh iuhiuh hiu huhu h --  okpo poopop okpo ppo pokoo. Rguy ggjhgu juygyy jgjg y gjg jgj jyg g. Yguyg ugyg yuygyu guy yggu guyguygyg?

Yguyg ugyg yuygyu guy yggu guyguygyg!

U iuh iuh iuhiuh uihuhuhu -- jkjn kjn kjnkjkj j nj. Uh iu hihuhuhiuh uhuh. joijojoij amp; oijiojijo joio iji j jioij ijoiijiij oijioijii o ij ioi j ijijoijijo -- j ooijoijoi jioj oij.  Jjioojoi jioij ojioi, oijoijjijoiji.

Kewqk  qeq elkq kq l kjeqlkqe j lkq lkjewq lke!

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Taking a Peek, Schrödinger

Well, OK. At it again with the cat and the Schrodinger.* This time they can look in the box. They can they can. But should scientists be descending into the insane nonsense of this analogy to start with?** It is the kind of arguments or ideas that zombies would come up with. CM Evans Cartoons


* Schrödinger Cat

* * Roll Over, Erwin Schrödinger -- Your Cat Story is Stupid

Cartoon - Printabel Food

Printable food? Shoot -- if it works, it will take over the restaurant industry and make food ordering and dining insane.

"Can I have the pork chop exported extra crispy, and more tan in the highlights?"

"Last time we were here the celery flambé was not color corrected."

"Fool! Don't tell me this pudding is not dot-shifted!"

I guess some will look forward to this. There will be places where you can see the machine build the meal before your very eyes! On the table! You'll even be able to adjust how hot it is, and if it will give you bad breath or the farts. Extra farty, please.

And with all of this progress, I know some of us will be eating a different way occasionally. We'll be going to truly select and rare 'fine dining' establishments -- where there is no networking in the walls and they actually CUT and COOK the food.

With fire!

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Grace and Diginity

Turns out after much rigorous spiritual development and untiring prayer, meditation, and focused effort -- from my highest spiritual ideals and goals -- I have a lot of disposable Grace and Dignity. And now that is has been all used up, I get to start all over again. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - KabbaKibble

If there are any beautiful woman, would like to go out with a cartoonist who draws pictures of mouseholes, please let me know. This cartoon, I have no idea what it means. But I do like the lines. I'll write a bit more about what this cartoon really means, after I get a date with a beautiful woman who like cartoonists who draw pictures of mouseholes. No, I am not holding my breath -- no wait! Someone just threw a brick through my window. Ah --saved! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - W O W

Did I make your eyes bleed? My son last night attended a monster truck rally in Angel's Stadium in Anaheim, CA. A good time was had by all. Interesting, I found out today that the Italian Monster Truck Racing Association  / Italiana Truck Enorme Fraterna Groupo (ITEFG)), has announced a new monster truck racing series that will be scheduled, tentatively at the Vatican, for later 2014. Scheduled in historic St. Peter's Square, to appear will be the terrifying "La Santa Famiglia" formerly known as "Incitatus", now sponsored exclusively by the Holy See -- thus the new name. Also in the competing, "St. Peter" (formerly known as "Hell Crasher"), "St. Paul" (formerly going by the name "Ravenna Revenge") and a small FIAT monster truck renamed "Lamb of God" will all be appearing for this epic first-ever racing challenge. Details to follow, when they are known. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Rhymes

You know, 'rhymes' is a strange word to be writing more than a few times. It just seems to be stupid. Is that really a word? In Latin, 'rhyme' is sane subinuidi -- in Zulu it is imvumelwano, in Marathi it is यमक, and Maori it is pehepehe. It trade any day, with any of those words.




CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Shiny Balls

"It all began at the point of no return!"

Judy Maxwell
What's Up Doc?

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Lack of Imagination Christmas Trees

Ooooh boy, I'm gearing up for the holidays now -- with cartoons! There should be a slew of them following, until the jolly fat man squeezes his ass down the chimney. Excuse me? Like what Clark Griswold said. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - 12 Days of Christmas

Argh! That "12 days of Christmas" song is a song of the insane. It is right up there with Schrödinger's Cat. Who the hell does sh*t like giving gifts like that, over any period of time? Anyone would be completely creeped out.

"Oh my god, he's still sending me gifts."

"Oh no! What did he send this time?"

"Geese shitting eggs all over the place!"

"What? Geese? What's with the birds?"

"I know, I'm still cleaning up from the Hens and the Doves."

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Holly Jolly

Yeah -- exactly what the mouse in the hole said. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Christmas Again

Are you all ready for Christmas? I did a cartoon like this last year. This is what I think, when I'm getting ready for Christmas. Now you can see how my mind works, inside. And if I draw this feller one more time, with a small door to a yellow house with an oversized Christmas tree, then he becomes a character. He becomes "Struggling Christmas Tree Insertion Man", or, "Overly Optimistic Solo Tannenbaum Buyer". But also -- I guess the cartoon guy still has to get his lights up. I don't know if he got them going last year. CM Evans Cartoons

Fred is Stacked

Good old Fred. He's a red male Maine Coon, 7 years old, the best cat in the whole world. Nothing seems to get him down, as long as you give him food, and a place to lay. We've been stacking things on him for years. CM Evans Cartoons

Post no. 666 -- Doormats! American Thanksgiving! Hanukah!

I started this blog in 2005 and I had no idea it would last this long. So here is post no. 666. I like painting. I especially like painting on doormats. This might be my all-time preferred media. Have a happy Thanksgiving, if you're celebrating, and a happy Hanukah. Next time the American holiday of Thanksgiving and Hanukah will cross, is in about 80,000 years. I don't know if humans will be around, but possibly the cockroaches or raccoons will have evolved sufficiently to enjoy a sumptuous feast. Travel safe, if you are on the road. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Started in 12

Goes to show you if you start in 12, look out for 1. Obviously, right? Now what about the full moon last night, seen all over the world. It was full right? The majority of us reading this can see a full moon and be next to a Walmart. Throw in some American 1950s rock 'n roll and we're all good. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - When In Rome

I can learn so much from The Classics. It seems sexual harassment and kidnapping were invented later -- might have been after the Renaissance. "The women in course of time lost their resentment." Book 1, page 19, 'Rome Under the Kings', Livy. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Having Fun

The sky is so nice and blue today. Himlen är så trevlig och blå idag.  CM Evans Cartoons