Cartoon - Crack

What I don't show in this gag, 15 seconds later the crack I was standing on shot out scalding sheets of steam, and then opened up horizontally by about 500 yards either direction, dropping me into a pool of molten lava. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - What is Behind the Dur? I mean, Door...

Hi, all you wonderful people! Thank you for dropping by to look at my work. I am happy to see some visitors from Egypt. I don't get a lot of traffic from Africa, and I've been pestering many countries in Africa, including Egypt, to come and visit my site here. Another appreciation to Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia, for the traffic. There are a number of cartoonists from Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia that I admire greatly. I hope you all have a wonderful week, more cartoons will be going up later. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cloud

I think some technological trends are awesome. Computers you can't fix. Why would you want to fix your computer? RAM you can't upgrade. Batteries you can't swap out. Why would you want to do this? Data you can store on the Cloud. That's gotta be the best thing of all. Where is the Cloud? Gee whiz -- it is everywhere! It is safe and secure and distributed over oodles of data centers all over the fricken place. The Cloud is so scattered -- to think you'll ever lose your data, man, you'd have to be crazy to think that. Why anyone would insist on having their own programs that can't be yanked at a keystroke, on their own repairable computer, with their own data concentrated on their own physical hard drive, under their lock and key -- man -- that is soooo PC antique computer vision. I mean, what could go wrong with the Cloud? Oh -- I see a big section of it did crash. Just the other day. No worries -- they got it working again. Yeah. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Click OK

Here's another one for you, don't fight it, you'll probably take down the whole Internet. Just click OK. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Note to Despot

How are you today? I'm here to help -- so just in case you might be on the verge of overthrowing your government, I have a handy list here for you -- notice the first thing is to "Wake Up" -- unfortunately, many strongmen, despots, or dictators don't do this, eventually. Unless they make it to Switzerland, Monaco, or Salinas. It is a damn strange thing to go into a taco shop in Monaco, and the former dictator of Country X is now making carne asada burritos. But they do say, you'll probably have at least 6 careers during your lifetime. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bruce Slice

When I was in college, on weekends I was the security guard at Chinese Hospital, in Chinatown, SF. I guarded the building where Bruce Lee was born. I did a good job -- nobody ever broke in. I think the rule around here is, on Thursday, I have to post a cartoon about Bruce Lee. I mean, it makes sense to me. I was missing something, I had this gap in my gut, and then I sat down and drew me a Bruce Lee cartoon -- where he can karate-chop anything -- and in his spare time he did -- and all is right in the world. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Planning a Trip to China

Nowadays it seems, if you don't go the China, China will come to you. And when that day comes, you'll find there's a shoe on the other foot, made in India. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Monday BM

I'm a man of few words, nowadays. But let me tell you about BM, or, Blasphemer Mouse. He's the little guy in the mouse-hole that you can't see, but he talks a lot. BM invented himself, many years ago, in the margins of my sketchbooks. You've seen him around here, from time-to-time. You'll see more of him later. No Justin Beibers / Biebers/ Bibbers/ Slbblers were harmed in any way whatsoever, in the construction of the blog post. CM Evans Cartoons

** Update: After returning to this cartoon today, a day later, I must say -- that is one ugly green gradient!  But it is so ugly, I'm keeping it. It clashes so nicely with the grey gradient on the inside of the frame, don't you think? We don't always have to create beautiful, harmonious things. Consider plaid. Or pinatas?

Cartoon - On de Road

Anyways, I thought I would be helpful. Sorry about the stains. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Blessed

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? How much coal would he be able to chuck? How many wet phone books? How many peas? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Great Wall

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound? If a jumbo-jet is flying and you are on it, asleep in first-class, is it still flying? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrrows

Will we ever truly understand the underlying reasons for the numerical allocation of the Dewy Decimal System? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Yer Art

Can the pigeon drive the bus? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Breaking Heart

Ouch. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Google

I've been reading a book on Stalingrad, and look what happens. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Novels

     "A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. The genre has historical roots both in the fields of the medieval and early modern romance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter supplied the present generic term in the late 18th century."

    Novel, Wikipedia

Don't be shy, sit down and write me 50,000 words. Go ahead -- it can be on anything, Feel free to take the manuscript pages during the writing, scatter them on the floor at random, and then reassemble them as if written in conscious order. You may wish to be drunk or high on mind-altering drugs/ on the phone while you are doing this, provided you don't get lost in your mind, because I need you to write me 50,000 words on anything you'd like to write about. I'll provide encouragement and some illustrations.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Loose

I dunno what I was thinking, or what I was doing. I know I was falling asleep, and I had this distinct image of a supernatural jackrabbit who haunted a tight-knit family for years -- showing up at gatherings, dinners, holidays like magic, and then disappearing when chased by the confused siblings, only to reappear at similar holidays and family gatherings again. I imagined this continued on for several generations, and that all manner of investigators and experts were called in to consult and try to exorcize the creature -- only to fail one by one. Then one day I saw the pepper-and-brown-colored big eared fella stopped being there, and the remaining people were sad that he didn't hop around on the table, spilling the yams and peas no more. What does it mean when we fall asleep with images like this? Lawnmowers made of balloons, policemen made out of papier-mâché, talking granite counter-tops, jet-powered butterflies voting for American Presidents, the list goes on. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cracks

Jim, my pal, offers me cartoon challenges from time to time. Whenever he does this, I always take him up on it, and I believe the score now is something like 5,000,634 to 5,999,777 for or against me. I am not sure. I do think I am coming out ahead, at any rate. I like to think this way. Can you tell?

Jim writes:

"Just found your other email...What happens to the things that fall through the cracks? My life seems to be a game of lost and found most days. Make me a drawing."

Well, here it is. You, too, could be included in this insanity, if you write me nice and tell me how nice things are in your neighborhood. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Draw Something Funny

I'm going about my business, and I read online that some condemned and notorious criminals from the 17th, and 18th centuries would get executed and have people make books out of their skin. In many cases, small books, for whatever reason. Some of these editions are on display in museums around the world. I guess they would be, somewhere. That kind of story and object of interest is too good to pass up, if you are running a museum. Also, potted plants really liven up a patio, if you're into that kind of stuff. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Invited

Welcome back to Friday -- we were here, most of us, last week. I had a relationship end, so last night I decided to go down to Rampage Junction. It was not too far from where I live -- I've been hearing them whoop it up there at all hours for some time. When I got there I saw that it wasn't Rampage Junction, but more like Sad Bottom Corner, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, or Lamebrain Exchange. But that ill said, it could have been me that was the lame in the entire atrocious situation: I was the fellow drinking a ginger-ale. Sometimes what I do goes beyond the pale of all expected, or acceptable expressions of what is considered civilized behavior. CM Evans Cartoons

And now the above, translated into Swahili:

Karibu tena kwa Ijumaa - tulikuwa hapa, wengi wetu, wiki iliyopita. Mimi nilikuwa na uhusiano wa mwisho, hivyo jana usiku niliamua kwenda chini Junction Rampage. Ilikuwa si ​​mbali sana kutoka ambapo mimi kuishi - nimekuwa kusikia yao whoop it up huko masaa yote kwa muda. Nilipofika huko nikaona kwamba si Rampage Junction, lakini zaidi kama Corner Sad Bottom, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, au Lamebrain Exchange. Lakini kwamba mgonjwa alisema, inaweza kuwa mimi kwamba alikuwa na kilema katika hali nzima ya mauaji: Nilikuwa kunywa wenzake tangawizi-hani. Wakati mwingine nini mimi inakwenda zaidi ya wigo wa wote ilivyotarajiwa, au kukubalika maneno ya nini ni kuchukuliwa kistaarabu tabia.