Cartoon - On de Road

Anyways, I thought I would be helpful. Sorry about the stains. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Blessed

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? How much coal would he be able to chuck? How many wet phone books? How many peas? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Great Wall

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound? If a jumbo-jet is flying and you are on it, asleep in first-class, is it still flying? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrrows

Will we ever truly understand the underlying reasons for the numerical allocation of the Dewy Decimal System? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Yer Art

Can the pigeon drive the bus? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Breaking Heart

Ouch. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Google

I've been reading a book on Stalingrad, and look what happens. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Novels

     "A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. The genre has historical roots both in the fields of the medieval and early modern romance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter supplied the present generic term in the late 18th century."

    Novel, Wikipedia

Don't be shy, sit down and write me 50,000 words. Go ahead -- it can be on anything, Feel free to take the manuscript pages during the writing, scatter them on the floor at random, and then reassemble them as if written in conscious order. You may wish to be drunk or high on mind-altering drugs/ on the phone while you are doing this, provided you don't get lost in your mind, because I need you to write me 50,000 words on anything you'd like to write about. I'll provide encouragement and some illustrations.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Loose

I dunno what I was thinking, or what I was doing. I know I was falling asleep, and I had this distinct image of a supernatural jackrabbit who haunted a tight-knit family for years -- showing up at gatherings, dinners, holidays like magic, and then disappearing when chased by the confused siblings, only to reappear at similar holidays and family gatherings again. I imagined this continued on for several generations, and that all manner of investigators and experts were called in to consult and try to exorcize the creature -- only to fail one by one. Then one day I saw the pepper-and-brown-colored big eared fella stopped being there, and the remaining people were sad that he didn't hop around on the table, spilling the yams and peas no more. What does it mean when we fall asleep with images like this? Lawnmowers made of balloons, policemen made out of papier-mâché, talking granite counter-tops, jet-powered butterflies voting for American Presidents, the list goes on. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cracks

Jim, my pal, offers me cartoon challenges from time to time. Whenever he does this, I always take him up on it, and I believe the score now is something like 5,000,634 to 5,999,777 for or against me. I am not sure. I do think I am coming out ahead, at any rate. I like to think this way. Can you tell?

Jim writes:

"Just found your other email...What happens to the things that fall through the cracks? My life seems to be a game of lost and found most days. Make me a drawing."

Well, here it is. You, too, could be included in this insanity, if you write me nice and tell me how nice things are in your neighborhood. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Draw Something Funny

I'm going about my business, and I read online that some condemned and notorious criminals from the 17th, and 18th centuries would get executed and have people make books out of their skin. In many cases, small books, for whatever reason. Some of these editions are on display in museums around the world. I guess they would be, somewhere. That kind of story and object of interest is too good to pass up, if you are running a museum. Also, potted plants really liven up a patio, if you're into that kind of stuff. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Invited

Welcome back to Friday -- we were here, most of us, last week. I had a relationship end, so last night I decided to go down to Rampage Junction. It was not too far from where I live -- I've been hearing them whoop it up there at all hours for some time. When I got there I saw that it wasn't Rampage Junction, but more like Sad Bottom Corner, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, or Lamebrain Exchange. But that ill said, it could have been me that was the lame in the entire atrocious situation: I was the fellow drinking a ginger-ale. Sometimes what I do goes beyond the pale of all expected, or acceptable expressions of what is considered civilized behavior. CM Evans Cartoons

And now the above, translated into Swahili:

Karibu tena kwa Ijumaa - tulikuwa hapa, wengi wetu, wiki iliyopita. Mimi nilikuwa na uhusiano wa mwisho, hivyo jana usiku niliamua kwenda chini Junction Rampage. Ilikuwa si ​​mbali sana kutoka ambapo mimi kuishi - nimekuwa kusikia yao whoop it up huko masaa yote kwa muda. Nilipofika huko nikaona kwamba si Rampage Junction, lakini zaidi kama Corner Sad Bottom, Flatfoot Station, Stupidface Crossing, au Lamebrain Exchange. Lakini kwamba mgonjwa alisema, inaweza kuwa mimi kwamba alikuwa na kilema katika hali nzima ya mauaji: Nilikuwa kunywa wenzake tangawizi-hani. Wakati mwingine nini mimi inakwenda zaidi ya wigo wa wote ilivyotarajiwa, au kukubalika maneno ya nini ni kuchukuliwa kistaarabu tabia.

Cartoon - Free Range

Wheeldo, wheedle-dee. Wheedle wheedle, whoopo whoo. Whonk whonk, zebo bonk. Doobie-doobie-do. Alexander Calder. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Balloon Twist

Have a twist-free Monday. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Why Do They

In New York, on the spur of the moment you borrow a friend's Armani coat to go to the market two blocks down. You do not particularly care for the Armani coat. The clasps & buttons are too big and the belt-buckle is ostentatious.

Halfway to the store, by pure insane chance, you meet Giorgio Armani. A private car pulls quickly to the curb -- the recognition is unavoidable, he is too close. He notices you, wearing one of his designs & holds his arm out, preventing someone from exiting the vehicle after him.

Giorgio Armani is so close you catch a whiff of cologne, and observe the fine wrinkles in the corners of his eyes.

"Do you like my coat?" he asks you.

"Yes, I do," you lie.

Armani narrows his eyes but smiles, because he knows you are lying.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Magic Carpet

I've been reading about Magic Carpets, all about Magic Carpets. These are things we don't have enough of in the world. I think we have none of these sort of things, at all. The stories of Magic Carpets probably are talking about things on another deeper symbolic level. But I want to have a Magic Carpet to fly around on, dressed like a pirate, bombing old ladies in the supermarket parking-lot with eggs. CM Evans Cartoons

--

J'ai lu sur Tapis Magique, tout sur ​​les tapis magiques. Ce sont des choses que nous n'avons pas assez de dans le monde. Je pense que nous n'en avons pas de ce genre de choses, du tout. Les histoires de tapis magiques sont probablement parler de choses sur un autre niveau symbolique plus profonde. Mais je veux avoir un tapis magique pour voler autour de, habillé comme un pirate, en bombardant les vieilles dames dans le supermarché parc de stationnement avec des oeufs. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fancy Italian

I draw a lot of stuff, birds, cars, trucks, airplanes, and flapjacks. Some folks are asking me, "What is this with all the penis gags lately?" And I say, "What are you talking about?" And they say, "You're posting pics of dicks on your website." And I say, "How can you be saying this?" And they say, "Well, you are." And I say, "No -- as a matter of fact, I am not doing such a thing. These drawings I post are mostly misunderstood. I draw a lot of stuff, birds, cars, trucks, airplanes, and flapjacks -- to prove the point, here is a picture I call 'Fancy Italian'." CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Another One

OK today is a Leap Day in a Leap Year. Here is a drawing for you to print up, and have fall out of your pocket on the bus. Or you can put the drawing in a library book and return the library book to the library. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - The Right Time

Think about it, people. Ignore the burned pork-chops and the broken car muffler. Put down that warm beer or that jigger of gin. Unload the gun. Pencil just don't get the respect it deserves. Don't it? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Pencil

Someone said this looks like a cartoon drawn in the Midwest, in an outhouse. I can see what they are talking about. CM Evans Cartoons