Cartoon - Blog Popular

I think this famous quote sums it up:

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum."

                                                      --- Anonymous


CM Evans Cartoons

P.S.

Do me a favor: If you have any buddies in Africa, tell them about me and my cartoon blog. The whole of Africa is ignoring me. 

Cartoon - Cloud Erase

Hello there. I have a huge server farm that I outsourced to Romania, or China. I really don't know where it is, and I want you to upload all your information -- financial and personal, to my Cloud service.

You'll sign a NDA that allows me unfettered access to all of your life revealed in that data, to use any information about you to sell you things, and report you to law enforcement when I scrub your data with elegant algorithms, to see what you might purchase, and what bad things you might be inclined to do.

My service is special that way -- not only do I identify you to advertisers, I also anticipate if you will do criminal things in the future based off your patterns in the data. It is free until you need your information back, or you realize your privacy had been hopelessly computerized into a digital guinea pig I can do experiments on. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - 35000 Toothbrush

This is a first for all of us -- I don't think I've ever cartooned about a toothbrush. I was watching a documentary last night about a cave in France that has drawings in it that are over 35,000 years old. I made it about half way through the film, because there were way too many scenes of scientists quivering with joy as they walked on metal platforms in the dark, backlit by electric headlamps. They found calcite covered skulls, bones, heaps of ancient trash, and I am sure the bark sports-page will also turn up. Bark lasts a long time, if you seal it in a cave.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Evil Leader Hut

Gosh, quite a sale here, can you believe it? They hardly EVER have a 50% sale at ELH. I picked up a pair of chrome skull cufflinks that fire poison darts, a hydra shaped tie-pin with ruby eyes, and the ever popular Jugular Slicing Expando Pants, in buff and charcoal grey. I was holding out for the 'bullet returning' navy blue blazer, but they only had it in XXL and XXXL. Oh well, they'll always be a place I want to shop for those hard to satisfy giftees. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Contortional Alphabet

Thing I like about this cartoon -- the background reminds me of a gym or a 'recreational center'. I wasn't thinking of a scene set in a gym or recreational center -- but after I drew the unfortunate contorter, I drew in a few extra cartoon people in the air over my signature. I was going to do some cutting and pasting to move things around, but I liked the feeling of space & observers, so I added another cartoon person on the left and then a wall up there with a door, far away.  CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - New Artisanal Mayonnaise

I wanna write something about this cartoon and my new artisanal mayonnaise, but it didn't work out so good, so I'm crying uncontrollably. Back to making my own custom iron-oxide inks and ginger-beers. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Thrust Lumber

I'm happy we're one day away from the end of the election cycle, determining who will be the President of the United States of America, or the Honorable New American Sisyphus. Then I can get serious and stop making Yoga cartoons.

I was hoping that other candidates would be on the ballot. My ideal ticket would be Tony Bennett as Executive-in-Chief, with Susan Sarandon as vice-President for the PACC party. That is the Peaches And Cream Coalition, an entirely fictitious political organization of my own fertile imagination. They would obviously be 'pro' fruit and dairy products.

If Tony or Susan wouldn't run, I'd settle for a Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons ticket -- please, we need to think of solutions that would do much good for the country. Other than that, I have no ideas. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoons - Happy and Sushi

Did you all survive Trick-or-Treating? My apologies to our international visitors, I realize that most of the world does not hold to Halloween.

I had no costume when I took the kids out to Laguna Beach for the festivities on Oak Street -- the residents there shut several blocks down, and they decorate their houses into Halloween extravaganzas. My children SAID I was supposed to create for my left hand a 'Claw-Like Appendage, Dripping in Blood' -- they said it did not have to be made of metal --  I could make it out of cardboard if I wanted to. Unfortunately, I was busy with work, so I did not show up with a claw, and I caught hell for it. Luckily, there was a spare wicker basket and a extra coat, so I quickly transformed into 'Basket-Head Coat-Hair' and this passed as an alternate disguise, due to the sheer insanity of it.

In fact, some drunk people who saw me as 'Basket-Head Coat-Hair' wished they had decided to be something along these lines. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Happy Halloween

Wishing all you Ghouls, Mummies, Vampires and Witches a Happy Halloween! I'm dressed up as an Early Fall Southern Californian Cartoonist this day. A very good costume, I must say. Not exactly terrifying, but I can get a skull mask or pumpkin head for later, to enhance the costume. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - American Cultural Yoga

This is what I thought I was doing in "Hot Yoga", but they told me it was absolutely untrue. Curse you, Groupon! CM Evans Cartoons


PS. Someone called me and said "What is 'orang Juice'?" And I said "Sugar free orange Juice, why?"

Cartoon - Hurled / aDOoDk RgSCceq

I go look at an old journal entry on my website, and this is what it says:

"qKcibaDOoDkRgSCceq qaDYovqmbo FkAnQBMXtXaZnWrpHm YMOvuEDXVVa DUwrMTJVuMQQKhdG."

Or:

"qKcib aDOoDk RgSCceq qaD Yovqmbo FkA nQB MXtXaZnWrpHm YMOv uEDXVVa DU wrMTJV."

Not to be confused with:

"qK cibaD Oo DkRg SCc eq qa DY ovqm bo FkAn QBM XtX aZnWrp Hm YMOv uED X VVa DUwr MTJV uMQ QKh dG."

See? No? Go read them each again.

I mean, when cibaD goes MXtXaZnWrpHm, you get QBM XtX no matter how many ovqm's or XtX's come along, right?

Exactly!

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoons -- High and Joan

I go to Detroit, put things on sticks, and I laugh. That's about it. The one on Joan of Arc is pretty damn funny, in my opinion. Some people like fishing. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Only in LA

I'm going about my beautiful morning, a Fall Morning, and here we go. I already have my list of things to do. Not a bad list, all gonna happen, today, today, today. You know how it is. Top of the list is 'getting toilet paper'. Then 'laundry detergent'. You know, I'm looking at my list and I don't see 'do laundry'. I do see I have written 'tame wild horses', and 'become King of France'. Like I said, all gonna happen -- today. See you at the coronation, this evening, bring saddles. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Epic

Oh yeah -- one more cartoon. I have a bunch of them all exploding out onto the paper right now. I can't stop. Wait -- I'll take a nap. An Epic nap. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - New Cartoons

With polls, elections, debates, and Google getting hijacked in Ireland, plus hearing about the whole WOW virtual world being slaughtered by a hacker, I don't know where I was or what I was doing, but I'm back. I think I was in Napa for a bit, for some reason. Try these three cartoons out. I realize that I've been obsessed with pinning objects to other objects with knives. I could talk to a therapist about that. But if I picked a Pirate Therapist, they'd say I was doing just fine. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Challenge - Most Geniussy

Here is a cartoon for my friend, and valiant student, 'Everything n Nothing At All', who, when I challenged her to give me a cartoon challenge, wrote: "Draw a really frustrated, almost broke college girl. Go ahead, immortalize me!!!"

I hope I hit the mark. I've been there too -- living in the Mission District in San Francisco, in at 10 x 10 room so small I had to turn the bed into a loft, going to SF State. I was always amused that full-time students are not eligible for food-stamps or assistance, because they are full-time students, and therefore classified as someone who is not worthy of being assisted. ; - )

Have a instructive weekend! 

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Hypno Dude

Let me give a shout out to people who have arrived from Mexico, Indonesia, and the Philippines! Please come back, all, more cartoons to follow.

I have decided to incorporate hypnotism into everything I do, from now on. Starting with my music. Then my everyday casual gestures. Then with the ladies -- whoot whoot whoot! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Notes

Just the way I am, I can't help myself. If you have a note around, or a list, or a bill, and it has room, I will most likely cartoon on it. Makes for some interesting situations, like with official documents -- ones that go to court and a judge reviews. Well, anyways, what can I do? Why did you leave it around, that paper with some blank space on it, unsupervised? Today is the day for another cartoon. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Too Afraid

So here you are, you meet someone, who you can't make fun of their name. You can't, because just one of their ARMS is bigger than your whole BODY. And you probably get stuck sitting next to them in coach on a flight for 8 hours, and they try to be nice and not completely crush you by folding their arms across their chest. Then you feel extra bad, because you want to make fun of their name, but the person you feel like mocking obviously is trying very patently & graciously not to be a problem, and you are a resentful shrimp with bad manners. People like you go straight to Hell. They go to Hell and God cheers, and the Devil weeps. CM Evans Cartoons



**


Şalgam: Artıq gələn üçün təşəkkür edirik. Aşağı oturmaq edin.
Kök: Mən keçi nifrət!!
Şalgam: Biz burada heç bir keçi var. Biz ötən həftə onlara qanundankənar elan.
Kök: Siz problem pis, axmaq etdik! İndi yalnız Outlaws keçi var!
Çörək: O, Şalgam doğru deyil! O, doğru deyil!

Cartoon - Ugg Boots

"All of us have a place in history. Mine is clouds." -- Richard Brautigan


Today, I cannot help but watch and admire the fluffy clouds/ Richard Brautigans as they glide through the sky. I see one Richard Brautigan is clearly drunk, heading the wrong way, with its pants sagging and big hat askew, dreamily going against the procession. The other Richard Brautigans flow on, flow on. I imagine rain/ iDEATH will be falling later in the day, by 3 o'clock, most likely. CM Evans Cartoons


我要走出我的墨西哥肥皂剧
我不能成为恶棍或不求回报的情人了
因为我从来不相信的角色反正
 

Cartoon - Out for a Walk

Happy Blue Moon Day! Before we know it, it will be September. Many valuable and fascinating scientific innovations and inventions were concocted in the month of September. Shoelaces, the zipper, the atomic bomb, toothpaste, gum, paper snowflakes, erasers, tin, the motorcycle, paperclips, and toilet paper were all invented during the 9th month of the year. Bet you didn't even know that. Well, now you do. CM Evans Cartoons

Честит Ден на Blue Moon! Преди да се усетим, той ще бъде септември. Много ценни и завладяващ научни иновации и изобретения са измислени в месец септември. Всички те бяха изобретени връзки за обувки, цип, атомната бомба, паста за зъби, дъвка, хартиени снежинки, изтривалка, калай, мотоциклет, кламери, и тоалетна хартия по време на 9-ия месец на годината. Обзалагам се, че дори не знаят, че. Е, сега го направите

Cartoon - Drinking Note

A warm welcome to visitors from the lovey Cayman Islands, Latvia, and Pakistan. Tell 'em I all said 'Hello'. If you want a few cartoons, drop me a line.

Here is another handy thing you can use, I think it could be totally cross-cultural. I wanted to trademark, or copyright this, but I'm too busy right now figuring out how the South could have won the American Civil War. Be well! CM Evans Cartoons

熱烈歡迎遊客的心愛之物開曼群島，拉脫維亞，巴基斯坦。告訴他們，我都會說'你好'。如果你想，請給我一些卡通行。

這裡是你可以用另一種方便的事情，我認為它可能是完全跨文化的。我想商標或版權這，但我太忙了，現在搞清楚如何南方已經贏得了美國南北戰爭。是嘛！

Cartoon - Ant Ladder

I have ideas, and many of them are splendid ideas. One of the best ideas I ever had was not this particular idea, but if you don't think up some bad ones, how are you going to realize the good ones when they come along? So I tell myself in a slightly high cracked voice at 3 AM, carving violins out of toothpaste, building submarines out of tampons, and designing geodesic domes out of drinking birds. CM Evans Cartoons

我有想法，其中許多人是輝煌的想法。我曾經有過的最好的想法之一是沒有這個特別的想法，但如果你不要以為一些不好的，你如何去實現良好的，當他們和你一起嗎？所以我告訴自己，在凌晨3點稍微高裂開的聲音，雕刻小提琴，牙膏，建設的潛艇衛生棉條，和短程線圓頂設計的飲水鳥。

Cartoon - Keeping It Simple

If they say they don't love you anymore, it is a bad idea to follow them around, or send them pictures of you crying. This is also an excellent time to pick up a new time-consuming hobby. Digging tunnels though solid rock mountains, with a pin, is one good meditative exercise. You could, theoretically, go for a new world record. Cherish your freedom! Use your freedom from another to find another who will put you in the same situation you find yourself in now. No! Yes? No! Cherish your freedom! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon- Me and My Milk

Hey look, a second post for today. Weird. There's a glass of milk in one scene from 'No Country for Old Men' -- a film that I thought I could enjoy and finish watching, but I couldn't go through with it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Only the Lonely

He reads: Ya gotta act like a winner, if you want to be a winner! That is what this helpful book tells him. An damn it, he thinks, I am winner. Winner, I am! I'm cooler than sliced bread! Stronger than John Henry! Bigger than King Kong! Taller than the Eiffel Tower! Faster than greased lightening! Meaner than that kid who beat me up in Church! More inscrutable (and mysterious), than Winston Churchill! Grander than the Grand Canyon! More mousy than a mouse!! Mouse? More a dragon than a mouse! He drinks a big swig from the whiskey bottle. Shivers. Makes him strong as the awful whole shit goes down. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bake Bake

At 6.30 AM I had that damn song in my head, the cake song -- and I don't even know precisely how it is supposed to be sung -- and I also had Ray Charles, singing 'America the Beautiful', alternating with the first song. And then I had some Pink Floyd come on by, but I heard it adapted to a psychedelic pipe-organ w/ lots of reverb, followed by random classic rock from the 1980s, in staccato 2 second alternating bursts... I'm telling you -- I'm a damn conceptual design. Come on by, and I'll bake you a cake. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Busy busy

Many of us would like to enjoy a fine night out on the town, make new friends, and influence people. But where to go? How to appear to be civilized? Should a handy prop be carried, for a good pickup line? I love your dress; Can you guess how many jellybeans I have in this jar? No? Yes? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - One Arm Joe

I wish you all a happy Tuesday. I can also add this: I totally respect each and every one of you, as a person, and definitely not as a thing, or any kind of object. Let us celebrate with 'One Arm Joe'. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Crack

What I don't show in this gag, 15 seconds later the crack I was standing on shot out scalding sheets of steam, and then opened up horizontally by about 500 yards either direction, dropping me into a pool of molten lava. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - What is Behind the Dur? I mean, Door...

Hi, all you wonderful people! Thank you for dropping by to look at my work. I am happy to see some visitors from Egypt. I don't get a lot of traffic from Africa, and I've been pestering many countries in Africa, including Egypt, to come and visit my site here. Another appreciation to Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia, for the traffic. There are a number of cartoonists from Ukraine, Serbia, and Russia that I admire greatly. I hope you all have a wonderful week, more cartoons will be going up later. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cloud

I think some technological trends are awesome. Computers you can't fix. Why would you want to fix your computer? RAM you can't upgrade. Batteries you can't swap out. Why would you want to do this? Data you can store on the Cloud. That's gotta be the best thing of all. Where is the Cloud? Gee whiz -- it is everywhere! It is safe and secure and distributed over oodles of data centers all over the fricken place. The Cloud is so scattered -- to think you'll ever lose your data, man, you'd have to be crazy to think that. Why anyone would insist on having their own programs that can't be yanked at a keystroke, on their own repairable computer, with their own data concentrated on their own physical hard drive, under their lock and key -- man -- that is soooo PC antique computer vision. I mean, what could go wrong with the Cloud? Oh -- I see a big section of it did crash. Just the other day. No worries -- they got it working again. Yeah. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Click OK

Here's another one for you, don't fight it, you'll probably take down the whole Internet. Just click OK. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Note to Despot

How are you today? I'm here to help -- so just in case you might be on the verge of overthrowing your government, I have a handy list here for you -- notice the first thing is to "Wake Up" -- unfortunately, many strongmen, despots, or dictators don't do this, eventually. Unless they make it to Switzerland, Monaco, or Salinas. It is a damn strange thing to go into a taco shop in Monaco, and the former dictator of Country X is now making carne asada burritos. But they do say, you'll probably have at least 6 careers during your lifetime. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bruce Slice

When I was in college, on weekends I was the security guard at Chinese Hospital, in Chinatown, SF. I guarded the building where Bruce Lee was born. I did a good job -- nobody ever broke in. I think the rule around here is, on Thursday, I have to post a cartoon about Bruce Lee. I mean, it makes sense to me. I was missing something, I had this gap in my gut, and then I sat down and drew me a Bruce Lee cartoon -- where he can karate-chop anything -- and in his spare time he did -- and all is right in the world. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Planning a Trip to China

Nowadays it seems, if you don't go the China, China will come to you. And when that day comes, you'll find there's a shoe on the other foot, made in India. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Monday BM

I'm a man of few words, nowadays. But let me tell you about BM, or, Blasphemer Mouse. He's the little guy in the mouse-hole that you can't see, but he talks a lot. BM invented himself, many years ago, in the margins of my sketchbooks. You've seen him around here, from time-to-time. You'll see more of him later. No Justin Beibers / Biebers/ Bibbers/ Slbblers were harmed in any way whatsoever, in the construction of the blog post. CM Evans Cartoons

** Update: After returning to this cartoon today, a day later, I must say -- that is one ugly green gradient!  But it is so ugly, I'm keeping it. It clashes so nicely with the grey gradient on the inside of the frame, don't you think? We don't always have to create beautiful, harmonious things. Consider plaid. Or pinatas?

Cartoon - On de Road

Anyways, I thought I would be helpful. Sorry about the stains. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Blessed

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? How much coal would he be able to chuck? How many wet phone books? How many peas? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Great Wall

If a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound? If a jumbo-jet is flying and you are on it, asleep in first-class, is it still flying? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrrows

Will we ever truly understand the underlying reasons for the numerical allocation of the Dewy Decimal System? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Yer Art

Can the pigeon drive the bus? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Breaking Heart

Ouch. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Google

I've been reading a book on Stalingrad, and look what happens. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Novels

     "A novel is a book of long narrative in literary prose. The genre has historical roots both in the fields of the medieval and early modern romance and in the tradition of the novella. The latter supplied the present generic term in the late 18th century."

    Novel, Wikipedia

Don't be shy, sit down and write me 50,000 words. Go ahead -- it can be on anything, Feel free to take the manuscript pages during the writing, scatter them on the floor at random, and then reassemble them as if written in conscious order. You may wish to be drunk or high on mind-altering drugs/ on the phone while you are doing this, provided you don't get lost in your mind, because I need you to write me 50,000 words on anything you'd like to write about. I'll provide encouragement and some illustrations.

CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Loose

I dunno what I was thinking, or what I was doing. I know I was falling asleep, and I had this distinct image of a supernatural jackrabbit who haunted a tight-knit family for years -- showing up at gatherings, dinners, holidays like magic, and then disappearing when chased by the confused siblings, only to reappear at similar holidays and family gatherings again. I imagined this continued on for several generations, and that all manner of investigators and experts were called in to consult and try to exorcize the creature -- only to fail one by one. Then one day I saw the pepper-and-brown-colored big eared fella stopped being there, and the remaining people were sad that he didn't hop around on the table, spilling the yams and peas no more. What does it mean when we fall asleep with images like this? Lawnmowers made of balloons, policemen made out of papier-mâché, talking granite counter-tops, jet-powered butterflies voting for American Presidents, the list goes on. CM Evans Cartoons