Cartoon - Enjoy

I drew the first version of with with just A. and B. options. Then when I was scanning it, C. popped into my head, and I think it made the concept funnier. But using the two versions serially is even funnier, I think. And I rarely work in serial fashion. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Mostly

Shhhhhhhh. I didn't say this, draw this, or write this. I found it. Yeah. That's right. I found it OUTSIDE, far away when it started to...snow. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Wig Toss

Not much to say. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Why I

Oh isn't it simple why we decide to like, or not like one another. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Nerf Dart

Back to regular Tuesday/ Thursday updates. The writing muse is gone. The cartoons clamor for contentment. Nerf guns and projectiles have been liberally employed in the Opium Magazine Literary Death Matches. I was partially responsible for this, encouraging mayhem and chaos (in a fun way) whenever I can. But you must be careful not to go too far. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fred the Alien

I'm back at updating the cartoon website after a few months of not doing much updating, I was writing, but now the muse has apparently gone off to New Jersey, or somewhere like that. I have no idea when she will be coming back. As far as I know, there is no muse for cartooning, and I have lots of them laying here and there, like a huge amount of autumn leaves. Here's a poignant little cartoon that will be going out in the next Opium Magazine, I'm sure you will appreciate it. And hey! We're getting close to 1,000,000 hits on the site. I know it took about 8 years to get there, and other sites get 1,000,000 hits a day, but thanks anyways. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Memorial

I gotta get me down to Memphis some day soon. I could take the train. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Quiz

Cartoon - Mike Hill

Cartoon - Juan the Onion I

Cartoon - Burt Buys

We hit the Tuesday update. here, today, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, after snow, snow, snow, snow, and snow. Tomorrow, one of my favorite days, April 1. Whoop whoo! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Headless Letterman

I missed the Tuesday update -- I've been writing up a storm over at my writing blog Giganticjet. Some good stuff is up there. This lopsided creative path happens in one direction or the other, from time to time -- but not often. Some Bodhidharma-Taoist-Zen muse really got me in a headlock, and away I went. I've also been planning a new Literary/Art website called Intercontinental Paper Airplane, with my friend Jason, who hosts CM EVANS CARTOONS. I don't know when we'll go live, but soon, I hope. It is about time for me to run my own webzine, after helping, contributing, and editing so many venues over the years. I also found out McSweeney's is coming out with the big cartoon book with 200+ illustrations from famous (and not so famous) humorists, it is going to press as I write this. And I'm in it. A few weeks ago I was starting to get bummed that not much was happening, but now I'm feeling better -- the wheels were turning all by themselves. As for today's update -- I don't know what it truly signifies. But I liked it when I drew it. I hope you like it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Question

This cartoon was floating around in my files, I dug it out and I liked it. I can't believe I can remember every single cartoon and drawing I've ever done. When it comes to my writing, or poetry, not so much. Which is nice, to be surprised from time to time somewhere in my creative output. Probably the reason I can remember every cartoon I've ever drawn is because the style has never changed much since day one, going back to about 1982. Yeah, one day in 1982, sitting in the back of the English Lit classroom, bored, with a blue pen and some pilfered copy paper -- that is where it all began. If you find that hard to believe, ask Evan. He'll tell you. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Yellow

I'd like to write something specific for this cartoon, other than it is yellow, made of post-its, plus black magic-marker. And I just did it today. But I don't feel like saying anything else, because sometimes talking about the horizontal positioning verses vertical tension, and the overblown yellowness of it, calculated to bother people -- plus how puerile the first part of it, is. Instead, I'll print the following 2 stories:

1.

Chung Tzu Says Do Something Nice - or - How So

"Do something nice, for a change." says Chung Tzu.

I clean the stove. I put the burner grates in the dishwasher, and set the washer on "Pot Scrub".

"Nice try." says Chung Tzu.

"How so?" I shoot back.

"How so, indeed!" yells Chung Tzu.

2.

Chung Tzu and Stove Parts

Chung Tzu comes over with his friend, Stove Parts. They both look at the glistening, put together stove that I cleaned.

"What do you think?" asks Chung Tzu.

"Oh, I think he did a good job." says Stove Parts.

"Was he nice when he did it?"

"Nice enough, I think. But he could work on being nicer."

"Well, okay, kid." says Chung Tzu. "You shouldn't argue with an expert. You passed."

"Thanks so much" I say.

"But don't forget I'm watching you!" says Chung Tzu as he and Stove Parts leave.

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CM EVANS CARTOONS

Cartoon - Ticket

I keep getting a ticket, and I keep missing the Infinity Express. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Cocktail

I'm back. Did anyone notice I was gone? I was away longer than I thought, and I missed posting to the site. I did keep updating the writing website. I've got a bunch of new work I did for Todd, he has a new edition of Opium Magazine .print coming out soon. I hope he uses some of it. Twice weekly updates, starting again, now. No, I'm serious, not kidding. Back to work. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Up to no Good

Last of the "Cartoon Redux" cycle, here, new work coming, starting on Thursday. Made it through the Holidays. What more can I say? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Happy New Year

I have trouble with checks for the first few months of any New Year. Always signing last years date. This year certainly was one of the weirdest I've been through so far. Weird good, and weird bad, but mostly good. Got some cartooning and some writing done. Moved twice. Played with the kids and started hearing my boy use the word "No!" for all purposes. "You want some cereal?" "No!" (meaning "Heck yes I want cereal!). "You wanna take a bath?" "Nooooooooo!" (meaning, "Absolutely not, Dad.") I love 'em to death. And now I will clean the entire house. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Catch ME a Santa

Wishing all of you, and to all you love, a very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year. Meet with family, bury the hatchet, forgo the settling of old scores, enjoy those around you while they are around you -- because some day you might find yourself alone, and these times happening right now, however trivial, will be one of those (forgive the cliche) "golden memories". Be foolishly loving, filled with laughter, giving with recklessness, and be utterly magnanimous, if only for one day of the year. Who knows, the loving and fun things you do today might spill into the rest of your life, and the lives around you. So be merry, rejoice, and look forward to the New Year! MERRY CHRISTMAS! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Xmas in My Coffee

Well, here's a nice Holiday cartoon, Xmas in My Coffee. I wonder what miniaturized Christmas Tree flavored coffee tastes like? A question for the ages, no doubt. I'm so happy to pose these kinds of questions. I still have a bit of Christmas shopping to do, and I've been a mostly good boy all year, so no coal this time around, I hope. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - A Long Story

When the Holiday Season rolls in, there are a few of my "traditional" holiday cheer cartoons that appear quite frequently in the top list of All Time Favorites. This one is popular too, but is not as cheerful. Though I imagine a majestic flying reindeer could be quite delicious. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Sushi Toss

This is a small cartoon, in the sketch phase, but I left it there, because I didn't want to tamper with it. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon Redux - Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing all, near and far a Happy Thanksgiving. Thaw the turkey before you try cooking it. If it isn't thawed by now, you'll be eating the turkey at about midnight. But don't give up! CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Art Hump

This was a recent addition to the website. And people liked it. Normal people, who I didn't think were sick in the head, like me. Is it the concept of acting out in a museum? Museums are so stodgy. CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Spit Ball

Spit Ball, another one of the All Time Favorites. I drew the "spitball" first, but when I started drawing it, I had no idea what it was, even after I had finished it. Was it a big ball of lint? A snowball? Crumpled paper? A craggy extraterrestrial planet? A fuzzy star? I had no idea. In these cases, of not knowing, I take the sketch and I throw it in a file with dozens of other unnamed sketches. There it sits for a few days, weeks, months, or years -- occasionally I'll leaf through them, and I might suddenly get a line for any of these orphaned drawings. I don't know how long it was, until I looked at it again -- and saw a SPITBALL ABOUT TO HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! CM Evans Cartoons

All Time Favorites - Nude Sushi

Kicking off a few "All Time Favorites" cartoon postings here, because over the years there's been some extremely funny cartoons put up on CM Evans Cartoons (I've been told), and now with more than one thousand originals, work in the past can get lost. So I've been scrolling down the list, picking particular gags that rated at, or near, the top of the most visited images. Nude Sushi happens to be almost in the number one position, and it is also one of the oldest cartoons I have drawn.

Cartoon - Ski Club

Sorry about the recent tardiness of the posts here, and at my website. I've been horrendously busy finishing moving *again* to the new flat, and I'm finally coming down after the election cycle has concluded. Thank God it is over. Here's a joke from the past -- I was playing with the button and it popped up and I had a good laugh. I can definately see Yashar out doing this on the slopes. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Come On

I wanted to post this cartoon yesterday, but I had some bizarre (sp?) computer issues that took me hours to fix. And I'm not sure why what I ended up doing fixed my problems, but no virus(s), and now things seem to be normal. Now, regarding this cartoon, when I was uploading it, I realized that it isn't crystal clear which person is trying to figure out the "come on". The guy or the gal could be the furious figurer, or figuree. Do women work as hard as guys do, trying to figure out what to say? I was never too good at this, so I'd try just coming out and saying I liked them. And that didn't work so well, either. Best "come on" I ever saw was in NYC, with Todd Z, waiting for the train to Brooklyn. Todd can talk to total strangers in this freindly, disarming way -- I thought he knew the girl he was talking to, but then the train came and it wasn't hers and I never saw that beautiful girl again. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Upset

Hey, look at this, fall is here and winter is soon to be dropping in. What a lovely time of year, watching the leaves swirl down the streets in the crisp wind. I've been away for a few weeks. I had to move my office, and my home to a new flat, here in Oak Park, IL. Pardon the interruption. Are you upset? I'll make it up to you. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon -- S t o p

I keep drawing a car going off a cliff. But this time, I deleted the caption. And you know what, it is hilarious. Well, hilarious for me. Ha ha ha ha ha! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - George VP

When I was in elementary school, I was scared to death of Mr. Burt, the principal. In his office, he had this big paddle, like a cricket bat, but he never hit anybody with it, as far as I know. But you saw it, standing ready in the corner. He was kind to the kids, but also very severe. He told me something that stuck with me my whole life -- after I had pushed a kid and got into a fight, he said to us, "Two wrongs don't make a right!" And Mr. Burt, wherever you are now, you're right. But also, I realize by posting this satirical cartoon about vice principals, a few of them are going to come by the house now after school, and kick my ass. Plus, my mom was a vice principal. I'm in for a double whammy! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Rip Off

You know, some people require a lot of convincing, when it gets to convincing. Sometimes you have to go the distance with displays, physical ones -- like kicking, slapping, indian-burns, wedgies, melvins, sucker-punches, tripping, pushing, spitting, hollering, windmilling your arms in circles like a helicopter, throwing yourself down on the floor, gyrating your hips furiously, jamming a finger in an eye, tearing at your clothes like a maniac, or ripping off your own head. Now tell me you don't need any more convincing on this point. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - I Invented

Do you know how hard it is to get the Wood Fired Hat concept to work? I mean, a Gas Fired Hat has been done. Gas Fired Hats are practically for dummies. This Wood Fired Hat works with pellets, soft or hard woods, and has an automatic flue that regulates combustion. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Art Hump

I wanted to do this to a few paintings in the Louvre. But they wouldn't let me. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Justabout

Doing the Yoga. I done good at it, too. It is a pleasing and ancient artform, going back thousands of years. Sometimes I want to laugh, especially when we get into the "Yawning Moose" or "Piquanted Drunken Mouse" posture, but I try not to. One time, I almost ruptured my yoga mat. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Arrow

Hello there -- I posted this cartoon a day or so ago -- tail end of the summer has taken me away from time to time, but now we're getting back on track. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Shark Dentures

Sharks don't need dentures. They continuously regrow their teeth in rows that fold out over time and the old teeth fall out. Yheck! But what an amazing, deadly creature...old too. The earliest sharks showed up about 450 million years ago. And a shark was a "sea dog" until the 16th century. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Offend

Been away for a bit, hope I didn't offend anyone. Part of my trip was to Northern California, to the boonies. Phone wouldn't work, no internet, sometimes no electricity. Got way behind what was happening in the news, out of touch with family and freinds, hopelessly out of touch -- what a wonderful experience. But now I'm back and ready to start again. Hello. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Coleslaw

Isn't coleslaw and paper mâché interchangeable? I've done some discreet experimentations, and I find this is true. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Bombe

I was digging around my files today, and I found a folder called USE THESE NOW. Not coincidentally, it was full of cartoons, all drawn in 1994. I have lots and lots and lots of recent cartoons, but Bombe strikes my fancy. Nowe ife Ie coulde onlye finde ae matche. CMe Evanse Cartoonse

Cartoon - BURRITO

When was the last time you had a BURRITO? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Peeking Stonehenge

"Stonehenge! Where a Man's a Man, and the children dance to the Pipes of PAN!!!"

Spinal Tap
1984

Ahhh. How I love Stonehenge. Even though I could have visited it, but spent time in Bath instead, and didn't actually see it. Stonehenge! CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - BILL ROBOTO

Isn't it interesting, whenever there's a story with a helpful robot as part of the cast of characters, the robot always ends up going completely wacko psycho, because of an error intentionally or unintentionally introduced into the robot's programming by the human beings? Was that a run-on sentence, or what? But do you see what I mean? I see this as a variation of the Sorcerer's Apprentice. Should we have more faith in our creations? Or should we have more faith in ourselves? Or, like in the fable, should we be cautious with advanced technology that we neither have the wisdom, nor the ethical clarity, to be using? CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Fries Out

Fries out. Missed the update on Thursday, I was having issues with this stupid HP "all in one" and getting it to be recognized by Photoshop Elements. Never had this issue before, and it is irritating to be having it now. I usually convert the work to B&W, but in actuality, I draw in a variety of colors, sometimes based on whatever pen is at hand. Today I did a whole series of cartoons with the steel pen and India Ink. I like India Ink because it doesn't fade at all, over time. I'll be posting some of those guys in the next coming days. Enjoy! CM Evans Cartoons

Link Added - Photoshop Disasters

I added a new link (via Look At This) to the Links section of CM Evans Cartoons -- Photoshop Disasters. Hilarious.

Cartoon - W H A M

WHAM!! I'm sure this is going to happen to me any day now. Even though I don't have three televisions. I don't even have one television, just a Mac laptop. CM Evans Cartoons

Comic News - Bella is Out of the Daily Grind Iron Man Challenge

I missed it, but I was sad to see Bella Whigimill of YOUNG ADVENTURE FRIENDS was eliminated from the Daily Grind Iron Man Challenge on May 15. I was seriously rooting for him to be the winner. He does some great, bizarre conceptual cartooning that I can't completely comprehend, yet I am compelled to keep reading. He has truly created an alternate universe. Bella continues to update his webcomic, though, which is a good thing. Joseph Bergin III of Say Uncle was knocked out on May 28th. Another steady, dedicated cartoonist, cranking away and doing creative work. 11 artists are left. Who will go next?

News - Naif al-Mutawa & the 99 New Superheros

I read an interesting article in the Washington Post online today, about a comic creator named Naif al-Mutawa who has gone to the Koran for inspiration for his series of comic books -- The 99.

From the Washington Post: "I wanted to create something that would be a classic, not another made-in-the-fifth-world product," said Mutawa, 37, who has four sons. "It was either going to be Spiderman or nothing."

With the recent controversies of Mohammad cartoons, it is interesting to see this project, and hear Mr. Mutawa talk about what his motivations are in doing this work.

Cartoon - Mr. Jackass

Meet Mr. Jackass. Now that it is warm and sunny, you'll be seeing lots of him around town. His tribe Jackass is a wide and deep group, spanning centuries and cultures. He is not really Homo Sapien, but rather, Homo Stupidous. CM Evans Cartoons

Cartoon - Killer Hand

THE HAND THAT KNOWS 1,000 WAYS TO KILL. YES -- THAT IS MY HAND. IT IS MY RIGHT HAND -- THE HAND OF FURY, THE HAND OF UNSWERVING JUSTICE. CM Evans Cartoons

News - McSweeney's Issue 27 is Now Released

I'm full of news nowadays. Amazing. McSweeney's Issue 27 is now out, you can order it from all kinds of places, including Amazon.com, City Lights Bookstore, or even directly from The McSweeney's Store. Included in this issue (which is broken into three separate books) is the cartoons I had in the apexart cartoon show, the work of the other artists in the show as well, plus a previously unpublished 72 page sketchbook by Art Spiegleman, and some new fiction by Stephen King.

Cartoon - Lima Bean

A falling lima bean. Hilarious! I just found the cartoon the other day. I also did some research and found out all kinds of lima bean facts that I never would have imagined. Lima bean cultivation goes back to about 6,000 B.C. in Peru, or possibly Guatemala. The bean naturally has cyanide compounds in it, and for this reason, only certain varieties are allowed to be grown in the US. More lima bean information can be found here, via Wikipedia. CM Evans Cartoons